Goosey Lucy Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Life is crazy here at the moment. OH is away again and will be spending most of the next 8 months away Sun/Mon to Friday unless someone else is recruited to his firm. The lack of human resources means he is unable to take most of his 29 days holiday remaining for this year. Our 3 week holiday to the States with the boys, taking in New York, Florida and Aspen is practically cancelled. Hopefully work will refund us the cost of our flights. Luckily we hadn't booked accomodation. My Mum died at the end of last month. We weren't close but I tried to do what I could for her, including lending her money to buy her home when she divorced my step-father. My half-sister and I are close but she's 11 years younger than me and was doted on by Mum. She has been made executrix and sole beneficiary of Mum's estate (less the % share of her house my husband and I loaned her). My sister is desperately lost without her Mum but the issues Mum had with me and the Will are causing a gap to come between us. I don't want to lose her as well. We're trying to keep talking but it's not easy when she's trying not to hurt my feelings and vice versa. In between Mum dying and her funeral (which my OH and I arranged as my sister couldn't face it) I was interviewed for a job which I have been offered. It's only part-time, mostly working from home and ideal for me right now. My YS eczema has flared up and is the worst it has ever been, he's now on antibiotics to control the infection his scratching has caused. ES is ok (thank goodness for small mercies). I enjoy life, I have a great marriage and try to be thankful for everything I have but some days it is just so hard. I suppose what I want to say is Thank you to everyone who posts their highs and lows on here. I come here at the moment not for chicken tips but for... free chocolate, tea and cleaning products (thanks Claret) a laugh (Richard, I always look out for your posts and Mrs Tilywhatwillyoubenext) the opportunity to share the good, bad and awful parts of your lives (everyone) to find out how other people cope (ditto) I have lots of friends around me but somehow I feel I know you lot better. I don't need to brush my hair or apply several layers of make up before logging in. Thanks for being there. Or should that be here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellekatz Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Sorry you are having such a tough time at the moment. I know how it feels - had similar problems 6 or 7 years ago but have come out of it all stronger and wiser and I'm sure you will do the same. Enjoy your precious little time with OH, have fun with your boys, watch your chicks doing daft things and talk to us lot. It will get better ((( hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedusA Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 OMG, you are having a tough time of it, aren't you? Hope things improve for you and your family soon. *virtual hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I really hope that everything settles down for you very soon. I've been through an unpleasant time in the last few years and you thnk it's never going to get any better but it does Big Hugs x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 oh hon (((((HUGS))))) i think its one of those times when you really dont want a reply, just time to rant. feel free to rant when ever you want. hope everything sorts out soon. cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Sending lots of positive thoughts Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 You poor thing - that's a lot to cope with . Thank goodness for your OH, your children and your chickens - they'll help you get through it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riane Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 hang on in there better times are just around the corner.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Sorry to hear that you are having a rotten time. I hope that you can sort things out with your sister and maintain a fond relationship. Hopefully the next 8 months will pass quickly for you and you will be back to normal with your OH back home full time. All the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyren Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Hugs on all the troubles - I had a rotten late 2003/early 2004, so I sympathise totally. Hang in there, and drop by for a morale boost whenever you need one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Oh dear Goosey Girl... You poor thing, it has all happened at once, hasn't it? I hope that you sort things out with your sister, and manage to feel on top of things again. You're always welcome down here for a natter, cuppa and cake; no need for make up of hair brushing either, just hugs. XXOO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfamily Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 sending (((((big hugs))))) Lucy......i really hope things improve soon. Concentrate on the good times and whenever you need a laugh, a cry or just a rant remeber we are always here - a problem shared is a problem solved with many different solutions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygal Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 aww you don't know me, so I hope you don't mind me posting on your thread, just to say that I also agree that this forum is amazing (its the people on it of course) and you need never feel alone. I hope things start to get better for you, you really have had a rough time. love and hugs... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperman Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 So sorry, I have just come out of the other side of a similar experience, or at least I think I have. My mum died almost two years ago, a complete bolt from the blue. She had a major stroke and was only mid fifties, I was the one who found her and the image haunts me to this day, she died three days later and to be honest it was a God send. It knocked me sideways and I will be the first to admit I took it very badly and lost all interest in life in general, I stopped getting stressed about things like work. I didn't really give a hoot about anything. Grief brings out the best and the worst in people, and you don't really know anyone until you have been through it with them. Me and my siblings although very close to start with are much closer now. (that should have been 'My siblings and I' but one doesn't speak that way!) The world stopped but I didn't get off, I just stopped pedalling for a while. Things do get easier, it just takes time. Take care of each other, Kev. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Oh you poor love, you are having a tough time, but I know what you mean about this forum, its good to have a rant to folks that do not judge you, I'm having a bit of a rough time at the moment & the guys here are great for lifting my spirits & coming up with great ideas. Families can be really difficult - I'm not close to my mother either but as the eldest of 4 girls I know exactly what will happen when she dies, I don't envy you. Lots of hugs - it will get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 The world stopped but I didn't get off, I just stopped pedalling for a while. Well said that Boy Some times we just need to stop and take stock... we'll all be here when you come back Lucy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Grief brings out the best and the worst in people, and you don't really know anyone until you have been through it with them. That is very true, and summarises very elegantly a point I wanted to make. You say you and your half-sister are close, and you will be again - but grief makes us all react differently. Hang on to the memories and the knowledge that you know you have, of the close times, even though you may feel a long way apart at the moment. It's a common misconception that if you weren't close to someone, their death doesn't hit you so hard, but I think that is so wrong. I wasn't close to my father for most of his life, and when he died I recognised the missed opportunities, and (sadly) also realised for the first time how much he had loved me, but that he hadn't been able to show it. I was very close to my mum on the other hand, and that made her death much easier to accept - I missed her terribly, but knew it had happened at the right time for her, and had lots of loving memories to call on. I'm not surprised that you feel upset and angry about the will, and your mum's estate and so on - that would be bad enough on its own, but then to have your OH away (just when you could do with him around), and having to cancel a holiday that you all need - you really have got it bad. Hang on in there, you can always come on here to have a rant or a moan or a laugh. I do agree with what you say - I have a lot of friends, some of whom are very close, but I type things on here that I wouldn't say to them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I do agree with what you say - I have a lot of friends, some of whom are very close, but I type things on here that I wouldn't say to them! You'll find that we're all much the same when we meet up Olly - some of my dearest friends are from this forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 The world stopped but I didn't get off, I just stopped pedalling for a while. Things do get easier, it just takes time. Take care of each other, Kev. What an excellent way to put it Kev It's a long time now since I was in a position where it seemed to be one thing after another..... I hope things will soon feel a bit easier for you Lucy. I'm not far away either, if the virtual hugs aren't enough, just pop over for even more chicken therapy.... or a bit of cow therapy - if you feel particularly brave Don't forget there is an Omlet get-together every first and third Saturday at the cafe in Stratford Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clur Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Really hope you come through the other side of this quickly and just wanted to add my best wishes to the replies you've had so far x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisa33 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Hope things get better for you soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 (edited) I am so sorry for you. I had a rough time a couple of years ago when my Mum had a serious accident which left her permenantly brain damaged. I had also just lost my adored SIl to cancer. I felt so much that I had too much in my head to cope with that I even got rid of my chickens Things do pass, & things will get better - I promise. Brighter skies are just over the horizon Edited February 26, 2008 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helen&Lee Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 ((((((hugs)))))) I'm a big believer that something good comes out of something bad...it just takes a while Helen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMO Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 So sorry to hear that you are having such an awful time at the moment. Time is a great healer and although that may not help now there will be a day that you'll look back and realise you can cope with what life throws at you. One day at a time hun and remember we are all here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Just want to add my sympathies too... There are days (and unfortunately they sometimes last more than days) when everything gets too much to handle, you sure seem to be getting more than your fair share of problems now... Health problems in kids always seem to come at those times too... My DH works away from home, mostly abroad, most weeks, and though I can bear his absences, when the children are ill, even mildly, I want someone here with me... we have no family locally, so I feel all the decisions are always left to me, and when one is upset, worried and so on, that's not easy... occasionally one just wants to put all weapons down and have someone else taking all decisions and responsibilities for a while, and though it sounds childish, there are many times when I feel I want someone to take care of me, rather than just me always taking care of everyone else... I hope your troubles ease soon, you sound like a strong and positive person, and frankly in my opinion a good rant always helps (DH doesn't seem to be sharing that opinion when he happens to be at the receiving end of my rants ).... Take care, cling to all that is good, and trust that the bad times will pass... Loads of hugs, and come and rant any time you feel like it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...