4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[ajm200]

I'm really having a bad day and have no one around to talk to....

 

I feel like a really bad mum to my darling little boy who is 18 months.

I'm a full time mum with another baby on the way but I just don't think my best efforts are enough...

 

Earlier this morning he managed to pull the table cloth off the dining table bringing my laptop and coffee crashing down on top of him. Both were in the middle of the table where I thought they were out of reach. I'd just gone into the kitchen to top up his juice... Luckily there's no lasting damage although he is fairly upset about being dumped in a cold bath and showered with icy cold water....

 

He's also sporting a large bruise in the middle of his forehead as his latest game is to repeatedly headbutt the floor. Not in temper... he's a really placid child. He just likes to bang his head... I try telling him off, distracting him, putting cushions under him and ignoring him... nothing works...

 

I know that he's a typical toddler, exploring the world, testing his abilities, getting into mischief without knowing it's wrong.. but on days like today I feel i can't cope..

 

He's asleep now and I've just had a good cry.. Do all mums feel like this sometimes or is it just me?

[Mrs Frugal]

Oh bless your heart, yes, most of us feel this way at sometime. Ollie was a headbanger too and would bang his head so hard that he used to make it bleed which terrified me. The health visitor wasn't at all concerned about it because that's what some children do and told me that the best way to deal with it is to ignore it as he'd soon get fed up - and he did.

 

We can't always be 100% on guard all the time so accidents do happen and be happy that he's not hurt and all's well, despite the cold bath! Having a good cry yourself when he's not able to see you and is happily sleeping is a good way to get rid of your frustrations. While he's having a nap, are you able to have a little bit of "me" time to relax yourself?

 

Hugs to you because it's hard being a mum sometimes but they grow up quickly and these problems are soon outgrown to be replaced by other trying things .

[Ziggy]

Oh ajm200, sending you huge hugs from here... believe me those moments are perfectly normal, and you are not in any way inadequate... all mums have been there at one time or another, and even at many times...

 

I have four kids, and thought that by now I'd have the patience and knowledge of a saint, and still accidents happen (thankfully none have ever been serious), and still I loose my temper at times and shout for spills or other little things... always make up for it afterwards with a long cuddle and talk appropriate to the child's age...

 

My eldest daughter was once sitting on a toddler chair right next to me when she leant over a little table, slipped forward and smacked her mouth on the table, perforating her bottom lip with her teeth!! No matter what you do, you can't always avoid them getting into trouble or getting hurt, and yes that's very upsetting... I thought there is no safer place much for a toddler than a toddler chair and a mini table, and still ended in casualty checking if my child needed stitches!!

 

DD4 now has a bad cold, and has been spending the whole night moaning and fidgeting in my bed, and is now so tired she trips and bangs herself onto everything that's anywhere near her... and I'm so tired I just want to sit with a bottle of something strong and pass out...

 

Your best efforts are good enough, don't lose faith in yourself, you do a stunning job, you just unfortunately can't control everything they do and everything that happens to them... you are only human too, and it's perfectly normal to feel like it's too much sometimes... the best thing to do, I find, is to forget all things to do and all aggravations if possible, and snuggle with your little one for something you both enjoy, and have a cuddly time, and/or make some time for yourself soon to have a short break, even just a bath while little one sleeps can help, or a book, or a favourite movie... you deserve looking after too, so look after yourself...

 

I hope your bad day turns into a good one soon...

 

Lots of hugs, from one tired mum to another...

[Popcorn]

Oh, have a huge big hug from someone who is going through the exact same thing. I am 37 weeks pregnant with a 23 month old toddler. It is VERY hard work.

 

The days when you doubt yourself and have little faith in your qualities are the days when you are most tired and probably haven't slept well. Tiredness can be an awful thing.

 

It's all down to you being the best Mummy in the world and putting your children first and foremost and putting your own needs to the bottom of the pile. You'll be feeling exhausted from being pregnant anyway, nevermind having to look after a testing toddler who is on the go all day.

 

I too spend far too much time wondering if i'm doing a good job and doing the right thing for my son, only to find him throwing food around, shaking his head at every request and crying for what appears to be no apparent reason. I worry that I'm missing something and I usually end up in tears too.

 

We've had lots of little accidents too, which I always think I could have avoided had I been more watchful. This morning Stefan fell off the bed and banged his head on the dresser. He drew blood and I felt so responsible.

 

It's a very tiring, testing time at the best of times, but being pregnant too brings with a whole load of other emotions and a heap of tiredness too.

 

Try and get some rest whenever you can. xx

[little chickadee]

It happens to us all and I know just how you feel. Hugs from over here

[Egluntyne]

Sorry you are having a bad day.

 

Re the head banging...is he cutting back teeth....they used to say that it was an indicator of that.

 

Maybe it takes away the pain. Anyway it is common behaviour.

 

One of mine used to do it and always had a halo of bumps and bruises around his forehead.

[druids57]

Ohh Big Hug from a Nana - you sound like my daughters thinking they are not good Mums and they are marvellous as you are too! Kids are tougher than you think and for generations woman have doubted their abilities I used to cry so often with my first two thinking I had got it all wrong and it wasnt till I had my third daughter I really enjoyed motherhood. Dont waste a second - enjoy and trust me they will only remember the fun and love and not your "mistakes"

[chickencam]

My son used to bang his head on the floor when he was that age, sometimes just for the sake of it sometimes out of frustration.

 

He was the most placid smiley baby you could imagine until he was 18mths then frustration kicked in. He was a late walker and talker so found the world a stressful place, he still does to some degree, and needs time on his own, but he is doing well at one of the best grammar schools in the country so he didn't damage anything vital during that time

 

Just hang in there and try to relax when he is asleep, being a mother is hard and there is always something to worry about. Show him plenty of love and try to ignore the negative stuff, it will pass and boys love their mums, they don't know that you have not been trained Mine still tells me he loves me and gives me big hugs and he is now 12.

[ajm200]

Thanks everyone for the kind words.

 

I gave my Son a big hug when he got up and told him that I love him.

 

A few minutes ago, he put his nose against mine.. looked into my eyes and said very seriously 'Mum mum.. luv ooo ' followed by a long string of gibberish so I'm feeling much better

 

Popcorn... good luck with the new baby, I guess you've not got too long to go now. I hope it all goes quickly and smoothly.

 

Ziggy, I hope you and your daughter get a decent nights sleep tonight.

[Guest]

I just wanted to remind you and all other mothers of very young children that a good mother worries about her children and worries that she might be responsible when bad things happen. A mother not so good wouldn't be concerned. So take heart! You are all good mothers - and worrying is part of the job!

[bronze]

While I was reading the opening post ds2 (3) was standing next to me leaning to one side. Next minute hes banged his chin on the arm of the chair has bitten his tongue and is crying. Children do just hurt themselves.

 

Ginett has wise words

[Snowy]

Just want to echo what everyone else has said.

I've got three and it is all so familiar. You are not alone! Best thing you can do when you are having one of those days is to talk to another mother. Things are so much easier when you know you are not alone! (((hugs)))

[Seagazer]

Don't forget your hormones are all over the place too, that won't be helping. Be kind to yourself, these things happen.

[MedusA]

I used to feel like that all the time when my daughter was small. Everyone else always seemed to be more confident than me, as a mum.

 

Your tale reminds me of the day I was making toffee and put the tray of just-boiled toffee to cool. My daughter reached up, when I'd turned round to put the pan to soak, and put her fingers straight into the hot toffee. She had a huge blister on her fingers! Needless to say I still get guilt pangs 20 years on.

 

People are right when they say your hormones are probably contributing to your stress levels too.

 

Chin up hon. I'm sure you are a great mum. *hugs*

[BeckyBoo]

BIGGGGGG Hugs, haven't we all been where you are. I'm sure you are the best Mum in the world to your little one, you're certainly the best Mum in the world as far as he's concerned and you are all he needs. Didn't you know the three stages of labour?

1: Deliver the baby

2: deliver the placenta / afterbirth

3: take delivery of the guilt!

 

 

Best wishes to you, it's hard being a mum, there's no manual, no rules and everyone else seems to know what they're doing. In fact we're all like ducks, smiling serenely on the sufrace and paddling like hell underneath. I STILL think other mums have a "secret" where they all know what they're doing, I'm still making it up as I go along, I bet loads of them are too.

 

Mrs B

[Cooks]

Huge hugs

[Karen & co.]

You are doing an amazing job, the doubts and fears are part of mothering, and the fact that everyone else seems to have all the answers while you feel like you are floundering

 

My OH said I behave like a swan gliding on the top and paddling like hell underneath (where people couldn't see )

 

Enjoy your little one.

 

Karen x

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Bless you, I hope you've gained some comfort from all these posts . I'll just echo what they all say - you are doing a brilliant job and accidents happen (I once shut my son's finger in the car door ).

[ajm200]

Thanks again everyone. You've all made me feel much better and helped to restore my confidence.

 

I know that I shouldn't worry some much but I was feeling tired, stressed, hormonal and morning sick this am so the last thing I needed was a minor crisis.

 

The red marks left by the coffee have faded without any blisters so we've been lucky. He's running around playing and getting into everything so there's no harm done.

 

We cooked some pasta for the chickens and watched their comical antics this afternoon. It did wonders for my mood.

[Popcorn]

Pregnancy hormones have a lot to answer for don't they. I've not enjoyed this pregnancy one little bit. I've found it much more emotional than the first time round (were I had more physical symptoms - swollen feet, ankles, legs, hands, fingers, achy back, pins and needles, constipation...) and I find the emotional stuff so much more difficult to cope with than the other stuff which you can see and point to and say, 'that's why I'm upset'!

 

I'm glad you're feeling a bit brighter now. It comes and goes doesn't it? And the exhaustion is tiresome. It really does help to talk it through, get it off your chest and have a good cry.

 

I've got 12 days to go before my section. I'm really struggling now. Very big and clumsy.

 

I love the description Mrs Bertie gives about being like a duck. It's so true!!

[Helly Welly]

I felt guilty all the time when DD was little as she's quite clumsy and will trip over anything.

 

She still runs into walls now, she's nearly 9!

 

Whenever you have a bad day, you can sound off on here, then go and watch the comedy show that is keeping chickens. Sometimes i think keeping chickens should be prescribed on the NHS

[Jules.]

Glad the afternoon went better. It's hard to take a step back in these situations, as you are in the eye of the storm, & see the bigger picture. Everything is sooo intense when you are at home with a little one.

Enjoy these last days with your only child before your new baby comes.

I can't believe how fast time has gone, both my sons go to different schools in September, one to High School & the other starts in reception. It doesn't seem two minutes ago that my friend & I were talking about how we could have girly shopping trips when our youngest started school