4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[Lailapet]

I think I might need your help!

We will be moving on 1st September and I don't want to make the mistake I have done before with moving stuff we no longer need...

I thought that I could start now and do a room a week roughly and end up with only having to pack the essentials.

Thought I'd start off with the worst place - Sophia's bedroom!

She is such a lovely girl, but the problem is she is 11 and still loves stuffed toys and cute little things - she has a collection of fairy-statues with broken arms, heads missing etc but she loves them. Her room is always a mess, despite many clean-ups and promises that from now on things will be different. I am not the tidiest of people myself, but try to keep the worst at bay. My mum says I was just like Sophia, so there is hope... William is naturally organised and I feel sorry for Sophia - hygiene is extremely difficult in her room. Just want to add that I have NOT been picking up after her and left her without the knowledge of how, but it does get overwhelming for her...

I was hoping some of you might have some inspiring ideas on how to encourage her to keep her room better. I expect the promise of her new bedroom being a lovely teenager's room if she keeps this one for the last few weeks might do it? But isn't that just a bribe? Will it have time to become a habit do you think?

OK, I'll venture in there armed with a few boxes, bin liners and a gas mask! See you later...

[Yolky]

I would buy one of those vacuume bags and put all her soft toys except one into it and put the rest when the air has been sucked out on top of her wardrobe. It is amazing how much room teddies take up. This way you aren't throwing them out, which she might find upsetting, but they are being stored.

 

Just something that may cheer you up. I have a 14 year old daughter and she used to be so messy but her room now is one of the tidiest in the house

[Cinnamon]

She sounds like Cleo

 

Cleo is 13 now, & has grown to understand that if her room is vile,friends won't want to come over.

So a couple of weekends ago we got some under bed boxes,armed her with bin bags & left her too it.

the result is a nice tidy room & 2 bags of cuddlies - one for the bin ,one for charity

 

Bribery is definitely the way to go

[Rhapsody]

Get a roll of black bin bags.

Put EVERYTHING unsorted into bags.

Place bags in centre of room.

Repeat as necessary.

After a few days of having to rummage through the bags to get stuff, and as long as you carry on refilling the bags if they get emptied onto floor, you should get out of it-

A bag of washing

A bag for charity

A bag for the bin

 

Works on my two teenage sons every time

[Christian]

My Gran used to do this to my Mum, Rhapsody.

 

But they were left in the garden.

 

The fear of her doing this made me keep my room tidy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It also explains my OCD.

[Egluntyne]

I only had to put everything out for the bin men once (in my pre-recycling days.

 

It worked wonders.

[Helly Welly]

DD is 9 and the messiest person i know. We swapped bedrooms so that she is now in the biggest room. OH built her a wall of shelving into which fit Ikea Trofast boxes. Every box is labelled so it is really easy to put things away. Everything has a place.

 

Does she now keep it tidy? No, you must be joking

 

We bribe her, order her, threaten her but nothing works. I think i might try your black bag idea, although she is quite likely to just shove the black bags in a corner and play with something she doesn't have to rummage for instead

 

No wonder i'm going grey

[Paola]

I have an OH that prevents the girls rooms from getting messy He gets them to tidy every night before bed. However every once in a while I will go in armed with my big bin liners and just bin loads of broken, bits missing toys and anything else that is not used goes to charity. I have stopped the girls and other people from buying soft toys fro them.

[Lailapet]

Every box is labelled so it is really easy to put things away. Everything has a place.

 

Does she now keep it tidy? No, you must be joking

 

We bribe her, order her, threaten her but nothing works. I think i might try your black bag idea, although she is quite likely to just shove the black bags in a corner and play with something she doesn't have to rummage for instead

 

No wonder i'm going grey

 

That sounds exactly like Sophia! Well, we managed to sort through all her clothes (amazing how many socks she actually has - why does she keep borrowing mine?) which we found in the drawers among books, cd's and bits, in the wardrobe along with toys, books and craft kits, under the bed along with a duvet cover and several soft toys... Cabinets etc are empty and everything is in a pile on the floor. We have filled a black bag with rubbish for the skip and a fairly large box with "things to keep because I'm too attached to them but I no longer use"... (We will later go through this and get rid of the majority, but she was genuinely distressed at the thought of saying goodbye to those soft toys and bits today, perhaps if she doesn't see them for a few weeks she'll not feel so strongly?)

 

I'm tired now but will give it another go tomorrow. I have a week to do her room before the school holiday starts and she goes off on a camp with her school friends and scout camp the following week... I need to know what she has already got and what she needs to get before we start packing!

 

The thought of going through it all while she is away did appeal to me, but I don't think she'll learn anything from that.

 

Thanks for all your great suggestions! I have also done the putting everything in bags, but they just seem to stay there on the floor with no action as she'll just not rummage! It sounds as if she has too many things, doesn't it? No wonder! She seems to hoard and keep everything and I have not taught her to do that!!!

 

Perhaps I'll post some before and after pics if we ever get through it...

 

Laila

[Snowy]

I feel much better about my boys rooms after reading these Do they ever grow out of the 'chuck it all on the floor' phase?

[beach chick]

I paid mine 10p per item of clothing they got rid of. the 11 year old earned £4.10, and the 9 year old £7.30!!!!!!

have just done the 11 year olds room this afternoon, and actually she's very good and will get involved and understand why (and she's being paid £5 for doing it). the 9 yo is a nightmare - lies on the bed, says everything is essential, then cries when I get the slightest bit tetchy. she's also on a promise for £5, but wont be getting it until its finished.

[fionne]

My 18 yr old is tidying up tomorrow!! She's just finished her A levels and she has to now tidy the dining room table (covered in revision notes) and her bedroom. Felt we couldn't really pressure before as she was working so hard but it will be nice to see the table again!!

[freddie]

so it's NOT just mine then... Oh the Relief

Try not to sweat the small stuff. I'm The cow who makes mine dust their own rooms, and I threaten them with the "up the hoover" routine once a fortnight!!!

soon enough they'll have borrowed the car, and be gone

[Valkyrie]

I have tried all sorts and given up. It does make it worse when at 13 she took a photo of her room, mailed it to the Disney Channel and won "The Messiest Bedroom"! She had so many goodies sent to her, which was nice, but it did reward her for a bad habit . The tidiest it has ever been was when we decorated her room this spring and it was completely empty because she was getting new wardrobes, cupboards and a new bed. It is a pig sty again.

I think things will change if she gets a boyfriend - then we'll take the door off it's hinges!

[Guest]

You have to pick your battles..

 

pick the ones you can win! In most cases, this isn't one of them....

 

other key question to ask..

 

"Whose problem is it?"

 

(in this case - whose problem is it that your child's room is messy?) - If it is actually YOU that has a problem with it - then you might want to ask yourself why that is.....

 

teenagers bedrooms are about territory and independance - they are notoriously tricky places to place you battleship!

 

Phil

[Ziggy]

It's good that you don't tidy up without her or get rid of her stuff while she's not there, as she'd resent that... With four girls, we have loads of stuff, and I am very good with organising space and they do end up with 'a place for everything', but still mostly things don't end up where they should be... I insist on them doing regular tidying, but they are 10, 8, 6 and 2, and let's face it, it's never going to be a perfect job... so I get them to clear the floor and tidy, and on a semi-regular basis, I do a full tidy and re-organise myself... I know what is special and precious to them, so even if broken I don't get rid of that, and all the bits and pieces I am not sure about I leave for them to decide on... a very messy room is overwhelming for them, and they don't know where to start... even if you help them organise it, the job appears endless (often is endless!!) and they get totally unmotivated and discouraged... better to suggest then one thing at a time (organise all craft stuff... or all paper stuff... or sort dvd's and so on...)

 

When I was little, I had loads of soft toys, and I would have been terribly angry and upset if anyone had got rid of any of them... they were given to me, so were mine, and I couldn't understand (and still don't) why anyone would then demand for me to give them up... I still go with that theory when considering my daughters' things... we have some rules (no drinks in bedroom... I learned about that the very hard way... ), but their stuff is theirs and not for me to dispose, decide on, throw away as I wish, even if they don't keep it perfect... threatening to throw it away, and actually throw it away, might very well work as a deterrant in future, but I wouldn't feel I have that right on them and their things... if anyone went into my clothes cupboard (which is very unusually messy at the moment) and threw some of it away to teach me a lesson, I'd be very angry indeed....

 

With mine, rewards work, but then they are still young... but the promise of a treat (like a game together or things like that) if they all do a fair share of work, does tend to get them going, as long as I don't try too often...

[Egluntyne]

The fact that Lailapet is moving house adds a bit of urgency to the situation.

 

How about offering her a small treat/bribe for every box full of gear that she parts with?

[Rhapsody]

:

 

other key question to ask..

 

"Whose problem is it?"

 

 

Thats absolutely bang on, and the key to my Black Bag System. I need to be able to whip round my sons' rooms with a vacuum while they are at school all week, we also have a bit of a mouse problem with the stables so close to their cottage, and stuff on the floor gives them places to hide. If my kids want to rummage in their big black bags forevermore, I dont care, its not my problem, I just want the floor cleared. I also havent thrown anything away or made any decisions about what is kept and what is not. Not my job.

[Ziggy]

The fact that Lailapet is moving house adds a bit of urgency to the situation.

 

 

 

Oooooops.... that's true... being carried away with my thoughts kind of made me lose that focus.... sorry

[Lailapet]

Don't worry Ziggy, it's OK - we're not moving till September 1st, just thought I'd tackle the worst room first so the rest doesn't look so overwhelming - That's probably till I open that cupboard in the kitchen where I keep all the tupperware and bowls and other plastic stuff - or that drawer with all my personal papers

I agree with you in principle and that's also why I stay out of her room as much as possible - but I just don't think I can leave completely alone!!!

Once while moving house when I was around 5 or so, all my dolls and dolls' clothes were put in a bin bag for moving and put outside the door to be loaded onto the van. Unfortunately the binman came before the moving van and all my dolls etc were gone! I forgave my parents eventually as it was a genuine mistake. I don't really want to risk that so the times I have put everything in bags and threatened I have never had the heart to actually put the stuff outside! So threats don't work - bribes, and looking forward to something nice is definitely the way forward.

We'venot got very far today as I've not been too well and had all the rest of the housework to do as well, but I have Wednesday off work and if she comes home directly from school at 1pm we can get some more done!

Tomorrow is St John's night and we all go to celebrate midsummer with a communal bonfire whre we burn a witch effigy and wrap dough round sticks to bake over the embers - so no time for tidying.

Laila

[tiggerlady]

HEE hee!! this one made me smile.. daughter has new boyfriend coming round soon..its been a mad panic to get hr pit of a room cleared up before he arrives!! Asked me to help,but had to hoover,clean bathrooms etc for the 'presentation'!! I've already helped her do it at least 4 times..someytimes you couldnt walk into the room for 4inches of clothes etc on the floor..you had to shuffle in,not step .This time tho I said no..if she is too lazy to put her clean ironed stuff away and tidy as she goes,then she has to live with it! After all she is...21!!

[fionne]

Well, both girl's bedrooms are tidy now and the stairs. Claire tidied all her A level stuff off the dining room table and then polished it, fantastic!!!! She then cleaned her car inside and out, then she walked the dogs. After I picked myself off the floor I cooked the meal!!!

[BeckyBoo]

My 7 year old is appalling, her version of tidying is to "stuff it" by which she means basically stuff it all under the bed Her room is half way through being decorated, I did have it all sorted for the initial prep but even now she's trashed it again. She just doesnt have a problem with mess. I can't stand it! And the more tired I get, the less I can stand the chaos, I will have to learn to ignore it. In the meantime, once the wallpapers back up I'm going to give her more storage boxes than she's ever seen before! She can "stuff it" in them, at least I'll be able to see the floor (and find her school uniform!)

 

Mrs B

[hils78]

I would suggest looking at a website called (sorry if I'm not allowed to post this so I won't put a full link up) Fly Lady. Its a group of people who help you get situations like this sorted out. Its really really helped me! google it!

[The Dogmother]

Rosie is 10 and her room is usually a heap of books - they're everywhere and she seems to read several at once. The only time I get annoyed is when I've ironed her clothes and put them carefully in her room for her to put away, and next time I see them, they're on the floor.

 

We are lucky in that a friend has twin daughters who are younger than Rosie, so they get her grown out of clothes and books.