Tigerlily Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Hi everyone - the title says it all Me and Mr TL have been approved to adopt a child for 9 months now. For the 1st 3 months you are approved just for children in your agency/local authority. After that your details are passed on to your local consortium of agencies/authorities and also the National Adoption Register (which is a nationwide database of prospective adopters and children waiting to be adopted). I phoned the National Register today as they are having an exchange day in Leeds and we would like to attend (basically you meet agencies and find info out on children waiting to be placed for adoption)... Guess what? Our names are not on the register I am so angry! We should have been on there for 6 months now. It just makes me mad thinking we could have been a match for a child waiting and we have been missed and they may have missed out too I've e-mailed our family placement worker, but she isn't due in till tomorrow. An apology can't undo what has been done either... Sorry I'm ranting but I needed to let off some steam! I feel a bit better now Thank you for reading! BW x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Poor you, no wonder you are angry It is a tragedy that you may now have to wait even longer to be parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I feel for you , a close friend of mine went through hell to adopt her little boy, but it was all worth it he is lovely and the light of their lives. Government bodies don't ever seem to know what the right hand is doing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 What a shame. I am so sorry. I do hope they will do the right thing and put your name where it should be. Best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tessa the Duchess Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I do sympathise with you, we went through the adoption process twice, it was a nightmare All may not be lost though. Your social/case worker might be able to admit that it was their mistake and get your names added straight away, so you could still attend the exchange day. When you speak to them tomorrow try and get them to agree to do this. Hope you don't have to wait too long for your child. Tessa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 All may not be lost though. Your social/case worker might be able to admit that it was their mistake and get your names added straight away, so you could still attend the exchange day. When you speak to them tomorrow try and get them to agree to do this. Hope you don't have to wait too long for your child. I hope so also. Do let us know how you get on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
..lay a little egg for me Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 That's just so typical of today's social services/NHS/education, you name it and the Brits seem to be able to mess it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlo Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 So sorry to hear about this. No wonder you are furious. I do hope that they manage to sort out their muck up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Its no wonder you're upset and angry, what a waste of your time. Lets hope they can put your name down straight away and you can get to Leeds. Good luck for the future, I hope you manage to get a child to love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigerlily Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 Thanks so much everyone you are all so lovely and I feel better now... I will wait to hear from our placement worker tomorrow hopefully we will get it sorted out. Thanks to you all BW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Sorry to hear what has happened I hope the meeting with your placement worker goes well Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 PS I love your avatar Tigerlily You can almost imagine what the girls are saying to each other Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigerlily Posted October 13, 2008 Author Share Posted October 13, 2008 Hi Paola it always makes me I should make a card out of it, I think! Thanks for telling me too! My girls are right gossips aren't they? They could just do with a handbag each under their wings The photo was taken on their 1st day in their new home Take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 They could just do with a handbag each under their wings Yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Tarpey Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 What a great thing you are doing. I can't blame you for being annoyed makes me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 What a mess - no woner you're angry. ..........but it could also mean that the special child for you hasn't been available for the last 6 months.......and is just waiting for your name to be on the list. Good Luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokbokbok Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Lesley just said what I was going to say. I reckon she is right - the child you are meant to welcome in to your life just wasn't ready for you yet. It's serendipity innit like? Think positively. Isn't it about THEIR timescale - not yours? (So says someone far removed and not involved ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 Best of luck tomorrow. I hope a wrong is righted. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassett Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 I really do feel for you - the waiting must be agonising enough as it is, let alone having it unnecessarily prolonged because of an administrative error. Good Luck, and I hope a gorgeous girl or boy will be part of your family very soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigerlily Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 Think positively. Isn't it about THEIR timescale - not yours? Oh yes - I'm not thinking of ours - we have always been realistic about how long we would wait! It is something thay are supposed to do 3 months after and they haven't. What if our child is still waiting for a new mum and dad because the right ones haven't come along - and we were the right ones all the time? That is why we are upset. I have always thought it will happen whenever the time is right - written in the stars and all that... BWx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phonix Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 I respect what you are doing soo much. I have always said that I wanted to adopt a child but not for a few years yet. The process seems so hard and so long that you just don't need extra time added by silly mistakes. To them it may seem like no time at all but to your and your potential child it can feel like a long long time. BUT as it has been said, maybe it is fate and thinking positively, the child for whom YOU would be the PARENTS maybe just wasn't ready for you yet BUT will be now - sending ((HUGS)) to you right now. xXx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigerlily Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 maybe it is fate and thinking positively, the child for whom YOU would be the PARENTS maybe just wasn't ready for you yet BUT will be now - Yes - I believe things do happen for a reason Kismet, fate or whatever people want to call it Our adoption journey so far has took 2 years in total - it is a long process but I know of others whose journeys have been much longer so I'm not complaining. Patience is a virtue believe me we have the patience of angels Thanks to everyone for all the kind wishes and positive messages you are all stars BW x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 How frustrating and annoying for you . I really hope it gets sorted quickly and you get a child really soon . It's an amazing thing you're doing . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenanne Posted October 15, 2008 Share Posted October 15, 2008 Oh, it does sound so annoying: when you rely on someone and trust them to do it and they let you down, when it's such a big thing, you'd have to be a saint not to be furious! As you say, patience is a virtue. Sadly, I lost my virtue long ago..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
