4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[Guest]

went round to mum's to drop off the orders of service for tomorrow and mum told me the lady next door (who is also sadly widowed) has said we can 'borrow' the part of her garden that her husband used to use to grow veggies. It's quite a largish plot and already has a greenhouse and shed.

 

She gave my mum a few apples from her tree recently, mum gave them to me, I made apple chutney and gave it to my mum who gave it to this lady who adored it! Mum told her about our desire to grow our own etc and that's when she said we could use her land.

 

She's going on holiday so we can check it all out in 2 weeks when she gets back, I might try and peek over the fence in the meantime!

 

It's great because they only live 2 minutes away from us and I can see my mum at the same time. We're so pleased but I felt so guilty for feeling happy

[Looney]

Never feel guilty for being happy! Embrace it! Things happen for a reason....perhaps you spending more time near your Mum and you doing more things together is exactly the sort of thing your Dad would have wished for....?

 

Sounds like a great opportunity, i wish we had a piece of land so we could do some home growing.

 

Look forward to hearing what plans you make!

[Cooks]

I am sure her late husband will be delighted about his land being used in such a valuable way, so don't feel guilty, she would probably enjoy the company as well.

[Reikiranf]

Don't feel guilty. Things happen for a reason and this looks like a win win situation. Go for it

 

Amanda

[freddie]

This lady will be so grateful to have the worry of her garden sorted for her, by someone she knows and feels secure with . You are all winners here, and she'll be so happy not to have to worry about "that" garden any more.

I wish it would happen more often, for all concerned!!

[Faye&Ant]

I agree Poet, don't feel guilty, as you well know life is too short. Your dad would want you to be happy

 

Faye x

[chickencam]

Certainly don't feel guilty. The lady has probably felt bad about that land since her husband passed away, feeling that she should carry on where he left off but at the same time being unable to do so. You are probably doing her a favour.

 

Your Mum will also be pleased to have regular company and feel that you are close by.

 

Best of luck for your growing plans next year.

[Sheilaz]

Guilt is a wasted emotion, it's OK to be happy about something even, or maybe especially, at a time of sadness.

This sounds such a beneficial arrangement all round; for you, your Mum, and her neighbour. So, as Lorna said, embrace the happiness, it was meant to come your way.

Someone is smiling down on you.

You and OH will enjoy making plans for the plot & harvesting existing fruit won't you? The neighbour will be pleased to feel the garden is put to good use, and your Mum will see you, that's wonderful.

[Karen & co.]

You mustn't feel guilty your mums neighbour will be thrilled to see her husbands much loved veg plot productive again Everyone benefits in more ways than you first think.

 

Karen x

[Guest]

thanks everyone, you've made me feel better about the whole thing. I like the thought that my dad has engineered this little arrangement from wherever his ship has docked!

[Lesley]

I agree with the others Poet - it is obviously meant to be.

[clootie]

wherever his ship has docked!

 

I like that, I like that a lot !!

 

Enjoy the garden and what you grow in it. It will be a good opportunity to chat away to your dad while you're busy digging and planting. Perhaps start your planting with a favourite of your dad's - you're mum would enjoy that too.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I'm sure I posted here last night . Anyway, what I said was ....

 

Try to imagine how you and Ian would have felt if this had come up a few weeks or months ago. You'd have been over the moon and your dad would have been so pleased for you too. You'll be able to spend more time with your mum (which he would have been happy about) and you'll be doing something worthwhile and productive .

 

I can understand why you feel guilty but you really don't need to!

[JM]

Absolutely no need to feel guilty - it was obviously meant to be and makes everyone happy. Enjoy the growing!

 

(Maybe you could take some chickens over to manure the ground while you are working there - they would definitely make everyone smile!)

[chickenanne]

I'm sure that evryone is happy with the arrangement - she gets her garden tended and some company, your Mum sees more of you, you get a veggie plot. Why feel guilty?

Sometimes people ought to feel guilty at things they've done, but honestly, I'm sure you're making the lady whose garden it is happy, too.

Unless you poisoned the husband with the apple chutney specifically to get your spade into his veggie plot, I think you're daft for feeling bad!

[missuscluck]

Justine thats fab. What a great idea. Your mum will love having you about and enjoy your growing antics. Perfect for your mums neighbour having her garden tended to and she will enjoy having you around too Im sure.

Perfect it being so close to home too.

Sounds a great situation for all. Your dad would have been chuffed too. Dont feel bad. As Sheila said, its a wasted emotion. Feeling happy and looking forward is the only way. Great news.

And, yes it would be lovley to see you over Christmas for a slice of cake. Any time

[Old Speckled Hen]

NEVER feel guilty!!!!

Unless you're eating chocolate

[The Dogmother]

I am sure that she will be happy to see the ground being put to productive use again - she wouldn't have offered it if she didn't want to.

 

Enjoy it and remember the old fellow when you dig.

[Guest]

thanks everyone xxxxxxx

 

I've never experienced such swings of emotion as I have in the last week. One moment I feel so down I think I'm going to die of a broken heart and the next I feel quite positive and happy but then I feel guilty for feeling happy.

 

I'm sad and happy about Christmas at the same time. It was going to be the first year that I did Christmas dinner and mum and dad were coming to us for a change. We planned to have veggies from the garden and a lovely free range turkey and I was going to cook it all.

 

We decided today that it was probably best for mum to go to my cousins with my auntie and uncle as she'll have lots more people around her and because she's in a different environment, hopefully not everything will remind her of dad and make her sad.

 

Ian and I are going to his sister's. Her husband died a cple of weeks before my dad, he was only 31 and died in terrible circumstances which I can't really go into on here. Ian's mum and dad will be there too. Ian's mum lost her brother recently too. My dad took over his room in the nursing home after he died which was a bizarre coincidence.

 

We're providing the turkey (I decided not to cancel it) and sprouts from our garden and we'll get to spend the day with our lovely niece, which I'm looking forward to and again, we'll be in a different environment and amongst people so I hope we can all make the best of Christmas this year.

 

We're lucky to have a loving family around us which is more than some people do. It's times like this that family and friends really mean so much and I'm so thankful for all mine. As trite as that sounds, I mean every word of it!!!!!

 

Thanks for listening to me go on xxxxxxxxxx

[Sheilaz]

Well, I'm sure Christina Rossetti would be proud of you, as would your Dad.

Life is so strange the way we are bombarded by conflicting emotions, some of it is hard to understand, but you are eloquent in expressing those feelings, many people will recognise them.

 

Given the circumstances, those Christmas arrangements sound such a good idea. Everyone will benefit by having close family around, and I'm sure there'll be a mix of tears (sorry too for sis in law ) & laughter, but it will be shared & understood.

 

I think you're doing well Poet, remember we're here with a hanky for tears and a smile for the good times, you're bound to be needing both. xx

[Guest]

thanks Sheila, I hope you're well yourself, I don't seem to see as much of you on the forum these days or maybe that's just because it's become so busy and I've lost sight of you in the throng!

 

Anyway, yes, I am off to bed now auntie Sheila Night night xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Valkyrie]

I think it is good to be happy - your Dad wouldn't want you to be upset. At my dad's funeral I refused to wear black, we had the Ying Tong song for his entrance to which we sang and blew raspberries and exited to Russ Conway doing Sidesaddle and we danced. He would have loved it.

Not sure how I will handle Christmas - it won't be the same, plus it is just over a month now since he went. I'm not looking forward to my stupid MIL coming (that's a rant on another posting for her insensitivity), because I don't want her to upset us.

Plus it is early days yet - you will have the rollercoaster of emotions. I think of it as him moving to a new area and checking it out for us first. Mum and I are handling it well, although it is mostly odd moments when I am on my own that affects me. Fortunately mum lives nearby so we keep tabs on her and she comes out with us (or she drags me out for a walk). She is off to stay with my brother for another mini holiday soon.

Your mum's neighbour sounds really kind, so perhaps your dad got her thinking and it was his idea after all to help you both - don't feel guilty, it's a sign that all is well.

[Lesley]

I think the Christmas plans sound very positive for you all Poet - a good way to meet it head on and cope with all the emotions........and for you as well Koojie.

 

I'm sure you'll both manage the festive season - with a mix of emotions - but with a feeling of well-being.

[Egluntyne]

I think it is good to be happy - your Dad wouldn't want you to be upset. At my dad's funeral I refused to wear black, we had the Ying Tong song for his entrance to which we sang and blew raspberries and exited to Russ Conway doing Sidesaddle and we danced. He would have loved it.

Not sure how I will handle Christmas - it won't be the same, plus it is just over a month now since he went. I'm not looking forward to my stupid MIL coming (that's a rant on another posting for her insensitivity), because I don't want her to upset us.

Plus it is early days yet - you will have the rollercoaster of emotions. I think of it as him moving to a new area and checking it out for us first. Mum and I are handling it well, although it is mostly odd moments when I am on my own that affects me. Fortunately mum lives nearby so we keep tabs on her and she comes out with us (or she drags me out for a walk). She is off to stay with my brother for another mini holiday soon.

Your mum's neighbour sounds really kind, so perhaps your dad got her thinking and it was his idea after all to help you both - don't feel guilty, it's a sign that all is well.

 

Very sorry to hear about your loss Koojie.

 

The choice of music makes me guess that your Dad must have been a fun person with a terrific sense of humour.

[KAZAROO]

went round to mum's to drop off the orders of service for tomorrow and mum told me the lady next door (who is also sadly widowed) has said we can 'borrow' the part of her garden that her husband used to use to grow veggies. It's quite a largish plot and already has a greenhouse and shed.

 

She gave my mum a few apples from her tree recently, mum gave them to me, I made apple chutney and gave it to my mum who gave it to this lady who adored it! Mum told her about our desire to grow our own etc and that's when she said we could use her land.

 

She's going on holiday so we can check it all out in 2 weeks when she gets back, I might try and peek over the fence in the meantime!

 

It's great because they only live 2 minutes away from us and I can see my mum at the same time. We're so pleased but I felt so guilty for feeling happy

 

I wouldn't feel Guilty....

 

What a lovely honor to be asked... her hubby will be smiling down on you And she will probably get great pleasure from seeing it being used