Brooding hen has chicks in nesting box

[BeckyBoo]

.....ex has just turned up to borrow the car to collect the children from school and have them for part of the afternoon. He was almost late and he's STILL not come up with any money for me - apparently he has has NO money and no access to any. Then he said that he might take them to McDonalds for tea and is that alright. Well, it is, but is it just me, or if he can afford £6.60 on McDonalds could he not give me a tenner instead? Bearing in mind I have 20p in my purse. And I mean, I've got 20p, that's all there is. Thank goodness for Mum and Dad, Mum bought me some bits round yesterday (essentials like ketchup ) and Dad gave me some money the other day so I could get smallest boys haircut today, also bought some chicken bedding as had completely run out and they were gopping (felt VERY guilty about the state of the hen house but they're all lovely and clean now) and we're going to Sainsburys now and Dad is going to get me some shopping. For gods sake, I'm 40, I shouldn't be sponging off my parents for milk and bread I console myself by saying if it was my children I wouldn't hesitate either.

 

So it looks like we're all set for the cliche, Mummy at home doing all the hard work and discipline, homework, bedtime etc, Daddy swans in twice a week, takes them out for treats then swans back to the pub and the single life and leaves Mummy to cope with the aftermath.

 

And the reason I say wish me luck? Because I know there are going to be lots of tears at bedtime because they will want their Daddy. But I'm strong today, day before yesterday was a bad day, today is OK, I'll always be there for them to wipe their tears and hug them tight.

 

Well, better go, got to be out of my own house by the time he's done the school run in case he changes his mind again and decides to come here instead of McDonalds.

 

Mrs B

[TheGirlsMum]

Oh, the very best of luck Mrs B, you are one strong lady.

[sparkysmum]

Oh Mrs B, be strong. I'm thinking of you, I know it shouldn't be like this and it must seem just too hard at times, but you are doing great. Stay strong for the kids. I hope it will seem better soon. Allisonxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Tessa the Duchess]

Am wishing you lots of luck and hugs Mrs. B. Don't feel bad about your mum and dad giving you some help, that's what mums and dads are for, whether your children are 4 months or 40 years old, it makes no difference, they just want to help you, they sound lovely and very supportive. As for your ex I suppose his beer consumption is far more important than giving you some money for food for his children

 

Tessa

[missuscluck]

Oh mrs B (where is that new user name??) Sending hugs once again. Give your mum and dad a big hug. Lucky you to have fantastic parents.

Just take it one day at a time.

[Egluntyne]

Is he safe behind the wheel?

[Willow]

Wishing you luck. And I'd echo Tessa re your mum and dad helping you out. I know it feels bad but you know you'd do it and be glad to help out if it was necessary when your kids are grown up, your parents will feel just the same about helping you - you're still the daughter they brought up and love however old you are.

[fowlbird]

oh, mrs B... the tears 'after daddy and before bedtime' - not much fun is it?

 

wishing you lots of luck and *hugs*

[chickenlass]

Sending hug and good luck vibes

[Guest]

I might be a bit harsh, radical or controversial here, but I would not be putting myself out so that my ex could see the children. I would be very hard and tell him to sort himself out and when he's completely dry - like for a year or two - and has some support to offer his children, then you might let him see them.

 

My parents split up when we were 12, 9 and 6 and I have always said that once my father had left, our home was no longer a broken one. I know we don't talk about 'broken homes' anymore but the truth is there. Children need a secure and stable home and they can't have that if they keep being shared between battling parents.

 

Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn - I am incensed about something totally different and therefore a bit volatile!

 

Good luck to you Mrs B. You have my support.

[hillfamily]

Thinking of you Mrs B and sending you lots of support and hugs xxxx

 

Your Mum and Dad will always be there to help and support you however and in whatever they can, no matter what age you are, just as you will always be there to help and support your own little ones They are probably grateful that during such a terrible time for you, there is something that they can do that is of real help and support (that's what my Mum and Dad said when there was a time when I really needed their help, love and support)

[jackiepoppies]

Stay very strong, come back later and let us know how you are and know that we are all thinking of you and the children.

 

Jackiex

[Helly Welly]

Mrs B, i'm really sorry things aren't easier for you. Be strong, you and the children WILL adjust, it just takes a bit of time. If he's not paying his way then don't allow him to do things with the kids that cost money. After all, if he wants to spend quality time with them, it doesn't have to cost anything. And as for excepting your parents help do it. You are still their child, no matter what your age. You know they love you and will do anythig to help you and the kids. Things will get better.

[Groovychook]

Just wanted to say that you mustn't feel guilt for your parents wanting to help you. I'm sure that they feel so much better for being able to do something practical to ease your situation.

Thinking of you... xx

[Seagazer]

Dear Mrs B,

 

I echoe what everyone else has said. Of course your parents don't mind paying for shopping. They're not going to sit and watch you and their precious grandchildren suffer are they. You would do it for your children wouldn't you.

 

I can't believe your husband would rather waste that money on Mcdonalds (sorry to any Mcdonalds lovers) rather than give you some money to give them some proper food.

 

Sending my best wishes to you and your children (and your mum and dad).

[Chickvic]

Just sending some more best wishes and (((hugs))) your way Mrs B. You're doing a fantastic job!

[chelsea]

Oh, I really feel for you. Wish I lived nearer.....I'd be round with a bottle of ketchup before you knew it!

 

Like someone else said, be strong.....bite your lip and lets see how he gets on with the children today. I really hope they have a nice time and I really hope he gets his act together and gives you some money!

 

Let us know how it goes.xx

[Tiggy]

Mrs B this is such a difficult situation, you need to do the best you can for you and your children and not feel guilty at all, your Mom & Dad I'm sure are happy to help as you will be in the future when your kids are adults and need your help.

 

I've pmd you

[surferdog]

Good luck Mrs B. You are behaving much more reasonably than most of us would in similar circumstances. I'm sure your parents are only too glad they can do something practical to help.

[Ms Marple]

Hang in there Mrs B (((hugs))) from here too. So much good advice already that I can only echo. let us know how it goes. Is a kiddie meal £6.60 these days? Scary. That would be almost £20 that you could do a lot with foodwise. Stay tough.

 

edited as I am the worst online proof reader.

[Guest]

Don't worry - if thats the best he can come up with every week they will soon get bored. Even McDonalds isn't THAT exciting.

 

As for the money, you are NOT sponging off your parents, they love you and want to know you are all OK. You would do the same for your kids!

[BeckyBoo]

No. they're £2.19 each I think. Well, he came, he took them to McD's he bought them home. They had a great time but my poor eldest didn't wait til bedtime, she just couldn't say goodbye to her Daddy. I had to prise her off with her sobbing and calling for him, he held it together right to the end but by then he was in tears too. It was just the most awful thing I've ever done. To hear your child calling and crying like that,

 

My heart is breaking.

 

I don't know if I can do this to them. The worst bit you see, is that although I am so much happier without him, I still love him. I just can't live with him. So all the time I'm telling my children that it will all be alright in the end, inside I feel like I'm dying. I just want to cry along with them.

God, this is getting too personal, it just really helps to put it down on paper (or on screen anyway)

 

Anyway, she was alright after 10 minutes or so, I'm desperate for them all to go to sleep so I can try to relax because I'm about as tense as a guitar string trying to hold it together. I've nearly lost my voice, I guess its stress - I have nodules on my vocal chords, partly from being generally a loud mouth (!) and partly from 8 years of 9 hours a day in air conditioning talking for a living, and it's always worse when I'm tired.

 

Do you know I actually feel like pulling a sicky, giving the kids a day off and taking them to the bloomin seaside with a picnic. I shouldn't because work have been SO good, but truthfully if my voice gets no better I won't be able to work anyway (you can't send officers to 999 calls on the radio if they can't understand what you're saying )

 

But I won't, I'll do the right thing, keep to their routine which is even more important at the minute. I just want a bath and to go to sleep, so I'll be off to work on getting them to bed.

 

Thank you all again for your lovely messages. I'm a bit of a saddo, don't have many "real" friends as I don't let people "in" really, which is kind of astonishing when I think of what I post on here for all the world to read. So it's nice to talk to people on here who I can care about but only disclose what I want to if you know what I mean.

 

Mrs B

[Clur]

You are far stronger than you feel, and I am in awe of how you are handling things. Glad you can share on the forums, and you're not a 'saddo' in any way, shape or form for turning to your online friends.

 

Take a bow Mrs B - you deserve it x

[HennyPenny]

Well done Mrs B. I know it will be no comfort to you whatsoever, but things will get better in time. Reading your posts brings back to me a lot of miserable memories of being in the same position when my children were small....

 

...that was 15 years ago and my children are now two wonderful, well-balanced adults and I am happily married to an amazing man.

 

BTW - If anyone had told me when I was where you are now that the future would have held any happiness for me, I wouldn't have believed them for a moment so I don't expect you to at the moment either, but I'll be thinking of you while you're waiting for the good days to come!

[Willow]

Keep reminding yourself you are doing the right thing for Mr B as well as the children even if they can't all see it right now.

 

Things will get better in time.