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Minnie the Moocher

Riddle me this...

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...why don't chickens eat the blummin stinging nettles?

 

I will sleep better once I have the answer.

 

And whilst I'm on the subject of vexing riddles:

 

* How do underpants turn themselves inside out in the washing machine?

* Where do all the potato peelers go?

* How does my dog anticipate which doorway I'm going to pass through, then block it before I can get there?

* How come the strongest glue in the world is dried Weetabix wiped on a wall/chair by a small child?

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The mystery of the missing crockery is usually solved by looking in DS's bedroom and hey presto - half a dozen empty glasses, 4 cups of tea or coffee, too many plates and too many bowls not forgetting the odd teaspoon lying around. The same applies to cordless phones.

Perhaps I should look in there for your potato peelers - you never know . . . :D

 

I would also like to know why my chickens don't eat nettles, dandylions and other assorted weeds - that are full of vitamins such as bitter cress, and proceed to gobble hostas, lavender and geraniums (not the pelargonium sort).

 

Not only pants, but shirts do that too in my washer - the sleeves go inside out - I know they do because I check them before putting in the machine.

 

Weetabix? Haven't you come across porridge or Reddybrek yet?! Better than Superglue that stuff!

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Socks that divorce in the washing machine - where do they go - they may be in your sons room or mine. Kids that will eat pizza at friends houses but not at home WHY? I could go on forever but won't - but my favourite - we have a person living with us called " not me"!! Who is he? Where did he come from? if u know do tell........... :wall:

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I would also like to know why my chickens don't eat nettles, dandylions and other assorted weeds - that are full of vitamins such as bitter cress, and proceed to gobble hostas, lavender and geraniums (not the pelargonium sort).

 

Ah, mine must be an exception as they do eat dandylions and love them!

 

I also do not know what happens to the one sleeve that turns itself inside out.

 

Or where the odd socks are (I have a bag dedicated to them)

 

Or why on earth I have 7 of each piece of cutlery and not the full 8. I am sure we were given 8 of each :?

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My girls love dandelions and nettles too once they've been stomped on to remove the sting.

 

They hate worms and slugs though

 

How do dirty clothes find their way back into DD's chest of drawers?

 

Where do all the teaspoons go?

 

Why does toast always break when i butter it?

 

And where are al the good looking, single (preferably bald) men who can cook?

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....and why does everything end up inside the duvet cover when going round in the washer....gets removed before going in the dryer (on revolting days when I can't hang it all out :wink: !)....then finds it's way back in whilst in the dryer so it doesn't dry & I have to start all over again, either that or it dries in a screwed up knot!!

 

...........and why do wet towels and bath mats never find their way back to the nice warm radiator to dry.....

 

..........and why am I the only person who can load the "cupboard with water that runs through it" during the day (until the dishwasher fairy loads it all before he goes to bed :anxious: )

 

....and why did my chooks ignore the canna lily which my sister gave me several years ago (& I have spectacularly neglected every year since, only to get a fantastic display every summer :roll: ) until the last frost turned it it "snotty goo" & they've now turned it into a dustbath!!

 

Oh the joys....!

 

Sha x

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* How do underpants turn themselves inside out in the washing machine?

 

The one-legged sock monster does it! As well as stealing every other sock that matches, leaving you with odd socks, he also leaves that stray bright red sock hidden in the machine ready for when you do a white wash. :evil:

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Just sent by a friend in the States; her version:

 

Things I pondered today:

 

Why does a mouse want to live in a cupboard full of only tinned food?

 

Further, how does a mouse know not to run on the third rail of the train tracks?

 

Why do people waste time saying "Let me ask you a question" instead of just asking it?

 

How can I know that I have hundreds of safety pins and yet not find even one to keep my top from gaping this morning?

 

Why does metro have a "down" escalator working but not the "up" one? (they can turn a key and change the direction). Surely this is not some altruistic way of shaping up riders!

 

Why does my 10am break from the reception desk seem to coincide with a cleaning of the toilets only when I have drunk too much juice/water that morning.

 

On a day of pouring rain why does the mailman not close the lid to the mail box?????

 

Why hasn't my damaged black toe nail fallen off yet? (it was hurt in the first week of December).

 

Why do I have a kitchen full of food and yet find nothing to eat for dinner!!!

 

It's not just us then!

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My brother bought us a peeler for an engagement pressie - a kitchen devil. Fantastic - never been sharpened still worked wonderfully and then it disappeared for a good year or so. It was eventually unearthed when OH emptied one of the compost bins - and it still works as good as new! A lot of teaspoons have turned up in the compost too.

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