patsylabrador Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 I have never suffered from depression and was dismayed to see how many women on this forum seem to suffer so frequently from it. This is my recipe for keeping mentally fit, it probably would only work for me and probably seems a little odd but I thought I would share it. About 15 years ago I gave up: Women's mags including all the Hello type ones. I won't even pick them up at the dentists soap operas Morning TV hospital dramas Documentaries about other peoples' miseries It was a blessed relief, my favourite mags at the moment are - Focus, New Scientist and Soldier My piece de resistance is my basket of skulls (plastic, not real) that I keep by the understairs cupboard to freak out the meter readers. It entertains me. It is peculiar I know. Do you have any strange strategies for dealing with modern life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jools Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Do you have any strange strategies for dealing with modern life? I tell myself they're all mad. I'm the only sane person I know. Or to be serious, I avoid the same kind of media as you and I spend a lot of time outside (with the chickens, working in the garden, walking the dogs etc etc). I also do my best to keep a perspective on what's really important and I avoid "draining" people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 But don't forget that a lot of depression stems from a chemical imbalance in the body so nothing to do with outside things. I could be chugging along quite merrily and then bam it happens. I have to say that a lot of magazines can make you feel bad about yourself, you don't look right, don't have enough money or lifestyle etc too. I do find that walking and trying to do lots of different things help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Easier said than done, but avoiding others misery is vital. Try and look at the positive. Spend time outside, digging, planting chook watching etc Talk to yourself (I do it all the time, who cares if others think I'm mad) Laugh at yourself (done far too often) The advice to avoid 'draining' people works wonders. Believe you are sane, it's everyone else that is bonkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 I talk to myself too - at least that way I know someone is listening I try to make time for a bit of me-time each week...time when the house is quiet & I can indulge myself in the things that I know keep me jolly. A good book & a bubble bath,or a glass of wine in front of '4 Weddingss' on TV,with some candles lit In fact everyone is out now,so I am off to run the bath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Another one here who doesn't read women's mags - Practical Poultry or Gardeners World are my choice! I have. given up reading newspapers, too. I strongly believe in 'me' time as well, and gardening is my absolute salvation. Everything feels better when you're in the garden. I am lucky enough to have a good group of close friends, and I find a chat with them - which usually involves a lot of laughing - will help if I'm feeling down. I'm also not afraid of having a good cry sometimes, it can actually make you feel a lot better provided it's not in public or at work! Another tip I really recommend is keeping a diary - it doesn't have to be every night, and it doesn't have to be something you re-read, but just the act of writing things down has helped me sometimes, and it lets you 'clear' the events of the day before going to bed. It's also a good opportunity to reflect on the good things that have happened during the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbier Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 It's not as easy as ticking items on a list, unfortunately, if you suffer from clinical depression. I can speak from personal experience supporting someone I love who suffered from it. I love reading all sorts of magazines, from New Scientist to Living etc. to She (the Hello type leave me cold but that's just a personal taste thing). I even enjoy an afternoon at the hairdressers reading the high-end fashion magazines such as Vogue and Elle, though I wouldn't buy them (directly) with my own money! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadietoo Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 It's not as easy as ticking items on a list, unfortunately, if you suffer from clinical depression. I can speak from personal experience supporting someone I love who suffered from it. I agree, my mother had clinical depression for the entire time I knew her (I think treatments have become better since) and it is an absolutely awful disease I love reading all sorts of magazines, from New Scientist to Living etc. to She (the Hello type leave me cold but that's just a personal taste thing). I even enjoy an afternoon at the hairdressers reading the high-end fashion magazines such as Vogue and Elle, though I wouldn't buy them (directly) with my own money! In fact at the hairdressers is the only time I read Hello...I don't mind that too much..its full of celebs looking lovely (or overdone ) (and most of whom I don't recognise or know anyway ) the magazines that I think are really draining are the Woman type ones, which always seem to have such sad stories in them and I avoid them. My heart goes out to anyone suffering from depression themselves or living with someone who has depression...as loads have already said exercise helps, and my personal tactic is to go for a walk everyday, and tap dancing....you have to involve your whole self in that and don't have time to think about anything other than what your feet are meant to be doing...(still can't do arms at the same time!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Knitting & crafting & going of into my little crafty dream world ! Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted May 1, 2010 Author Share Posted May 1, 2010 It's not as easy as ticking items on a list, unfortunately, if you suffer from clinical depression. I can speak from personal experience supporting someone I love who suffered from it. Absolutely. My brother has bi-polar so I would not seek to trivialise the horrors he has been through. I was thinking more of the lows, downs, black dogs and general fed-upness that lots of people suffer from. I don't want to cause controversy, just share how I have, I believe, managed to keep my pecker up, so to speak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 I've had a good week - then bam last night the black fog came down. it stems from work - working for control freaks. Really ratty this am and kids (boys) and other half were teasing me - so major hump - i can cope with teasing when I feel ok but cant when i feel low. Got some fresh air on allotment and watched the girls - feel a little brighter. You cant triavialise depression - it affects us all differently. I try and laugh at my menopausal self - the fact i know people think I'm eccentric. I talk to myself and get names wrong. I love the skulls in the cupboard Patsy and know you have a son(s) abroad - having seen a friend go thro this twice with OH being posted to Afghanistan it must be very hard. Anyway I know theres support on here and it helps that people dont know you so you dont feel judged Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Seems to run in my blood too. But I know when I'm down and I make myself snap out of it. Much harder for some to do that - and talking with a good friend helps. My son also suffers with it from time to time - worse than me as some know. I like a jolly good sing along - preferably with no witnesses. Or a ride out in the car on my own - doesn't have to be too far, just around the block is nice just to feel free. Moving into the country helped tons - got really down in Ashford - too built up and no greenery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 music and physical labour outside hard though as for me its sad and its difficult to be outside at the times when I really need to be Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ygerna Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 I have PND, in truth I've had it for over 6 years because, just as each episode ended, another baby just happened to pop out But, when it was at it's blackest, I can't even begin to describe how horrible it was However, with correct medication its been under control now for about 18 months. I still get down days; They are grey, not black. I have ways of trying to life the fog. They work, mostly, for me and include cleaning out the chickens (yes, I am serious), playing with my children, or even just asking them for a big cuddle as 'mummy needs one right now' (my daughter is now very aware that a cuddle from her is a terrific boost to mummy and offers them freely), Praying, and/or, going to Church, not for everyone but my Faith helps me tremendously, crafting, gardening, cooking or making jams and preserves, generally anything that involve activity and concentration. These things work for me. Depression is a subjective illness (it is an illness, regardless of some people who sugest that you should just 'snap out of it) and what works for one, wont work for another. But, I would say to anyone who is suffering, be it personally or as someone who cares for a sufferer, there are ways to ease things, you just have to keep believing this, and keep trying new things until you find what works for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Depression is a subjective illness (it is an illness, regardless of some people who sugest that you should just 'snap out of it) I remember someone saying to me that telling someone to 'snap out' of clinical depression is like telling a diabetic to 'snap out of it'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 I hope you don't think I'm telling others to "snap out of it"! Would never suggest that - it's something that works for me. Tablets made me feel tons worse and I felt that I had to get a grip on myself. I remember flatly refusing to take my tablets while my mum pleaded with me to do so (I made her cry) and I am able to recognise the signs before I get to the lowest spot. I think I am in that fortunate place where I am not such a bad sufferer as some so I am able do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffyfeet Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 I can definitely recommend dancing to your favourite tunes. Went out with 3 friends last night - only decided to go at 6pm with much encouragement from OH (bless him) Went to the local rocker/biker pub in town and had an absolute ball - sooooo funny, especially acting out 'Devil went down to Georgia' with mucho gusto. Just enough alcohol to relax and then enough water to prevent the dreaded hangover - and then the obligatory kebab on the way home (something I hadn't done for years!). Still got loads of 'happy' vibes today. Dawn x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 I hope you don't think I'm telling others to "snap out of it"! Would never suggest that No, not at all Koojie, I know what you were saying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dovesville Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 I suffered really badly last year and had a very bad experience with doctors, who made me feel much worse. I decided as hard as it was I'd have to help myself and thankfully am better now, although find myself sliding back down now and again. Once of the things I did was to stop using Facebook. I found I was spending more and more time looking at other peoples boring and often dysfunctional life's and playing ridiculous, time wasting games. I decided to keep in contact with real friends in the old fashioned way - by actually talking to them and to get out more walking, gardening....and getting my first chickens in January. The garden has never looked better with the time I've spent in it and it does help to have my two helpers waiting for worms as I dig! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 I hope you don't think I'm telling others to "snap out of it"! Would never suggest that No, not at all Koojie, I know what you were saying Phew! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 Easier said than done, but avoiding others misery is vital. Try and look at the positive. Spend time outside, digging, planting chook watching etc Talk to yourself (I do it all the time, who cares if others think I'm mad) Laugh at yourself (done far too often) The advice to avoid 'draining' people works wonders. Believe you are sane, it's everyone else that is bonkers. I completely agree. Especially in the avoiding other's misery bit. Try to surround yourself with positivity, look at some nice photos/pictures or play some music you enjoy. Or just simply sit in the sun. Talking to my animals and plants does help - I do it all the time and don't give a monkeys what the neighbours think! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted May 4, 2010 Share Posted May 4, 2010 i think if someone told me to snap out of it I might hit them Just can't be done. I mean do any of us want to be depressed? thought not - its the way some of us are made and our backgrounds shape us as people if you ahve it in a family member you are more likely to suffer it yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeramaSilly Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 You are so right Ali! I have been up and down for 7 years now and have not been able to work in that time after working over 20 years in NHS. I am sorry to say apart from a really really lovely GP who was there for me for the first two years and then horror of horrors had to move to Scotland with her husband's job I have found little or no help with the 'professionals'. My psychiatrist actually told me to pull myself together when I was very tearful once and think of people who were really ill with cancer - can you believe it!! Chickens, a walk on a lovely day and joining a knitting club has been a lifeline for me and I totally agree try to distance yourself from 'draining persons'. Sophie x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 I agree Sophie - certain things make me happy - my family (althou my 9 yr is a cause of much angst but I love him) my pets, my lovely friends who I try and support despite my own demons, my fundraising activites and other things. As a new chicken mum I love watching my girls free range weather permiting. I will sit with my cuppa and newspaper and watch them run round. Glad you've found your support too Ali Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
