chickinboy Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Ummm...please don't judge me. We have the most repulsive gooseberry bush at the end of our garden. Our house backs on to my in-laws garden, and as we bought the house from them, they have a gate into our garden, and still regard the gooseberry bush as theirs. I get daily reminders not to touch it (after they caught me hacking into it with a spade a couple of years ago). It barely produces any fruit and it's the ugliest bush I've ever seen. I've spent thousands on the garden over the last few years, and this is the only thing ruining it. My chickens are dreaming of a new WIR, however, the only thing standing in the way of their new home is said gooseberry bush. One ugly bush is preventing the eternal happiness of me and four chickens. Hypothetically, is there a substance that, if accidentally spilt on the plant, would kill it, quickly and quietly, without leaving any evidence, other than typical signs of, erm, gooseberry bush disease??!! Shhhhhh! P.S. I promise I'll buy the in-laws a new gooseberry bush to cheer them up. They'll have to have it in their own blinkin' garden though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Hilarious! No ideas,but good luck..............maybe a quick spritz of weedkiller on a sunny day,when they are out though Can you not dig it up & plant it in their own garden? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickinboy Posted June 19, 2010 Author Share Posted June 19, 2010 Will try the weedkiller - it had crossed my mind, but I was holding off in the hope that the bind weed that I've trained up the side of it might squeeze the life out of it. Sadly, my polite suggestion of moving the bush to their own garden was met with total disgust. It was like I had suggested we burn down the house and build a car park in its place. I know the bush has been there for generations blah blah blah.......but's it's preventing chicken heaven!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Perhaps there are some gooseberry bush thieves working in the area ? What a tragedy it would be if they took yours . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 *cough* Round up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 what about a rusty nail stuck into the main trunk what about an axe through the main root when no one is in? cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickinboy Posted June 21, 2010 Author Share Posted June 21, 2010 Thanks for the suggestions! Haha, I love your evil minds! Going to start with an accident with some Round Up, and take from there....! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathybc Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 I could lend you my mum to plant sit - she is the opposite of green fingered, if I buy her a plant I apologise to it as I will usually be sentencing it to a short life.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 This is the funniest thing I have read in ages. Could you accidentally sever the roots with a spade? Wait till they are on holiday and blame a fictitious gardener for misinterpreting your instructions and removing the wrong bush? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jools Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Can you build the WIR around said bush and let the chickens kill it for you? They'll really enjoy doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlottechicken Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Can you build the WIR around said bush and let the chickens kill it for you? They'll really enjoy doing it. Actually, that's a really good idea. They will eat all the leaves off and kill it that way, and there's no hard feelings from the in laws either Do let us know how you get on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 This is hilarious - how about a gang of secret Omleteers with balaclavas on stealing it in the middle of the night . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 I'd go with building the run around the bush as well. Tell the in laws that chickens don't touch gooseberry bushes and it will be quite safe and indeed fertilised and might actually produce fruit now. Mine ate all the shrubs in their run except a holly bush so I don't think it will stand a chance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Go find some slugs! Transplant to hideous gooseberry bush & let them munch! My dad once hated nextdoors lupins. He waited for a bit of a windy night, then made a gadget. It was a cane with a curtain tie back hook in the end. He fished it round the stalks of the lupins & gave it a yank. Whoops! How the wind got up that night! Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 This is officially my favourite thread on the forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Me too. It's made me chuckle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAJ Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 So why can't you just dig it up and put it in a nice pot for them? Tracy ...but if using a nail to kill it it is a copper nail that you hammer into trees to kill them, not just any old nail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom123 Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 Is the bush dead yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 why do they love it so much it it dosnt produce anything Any how Im sure gooseberry bushes need pruning and somehow the shock killed it weed-killer- got to be done Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krysia Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 I am loving this thread! what's the latest? has the gooseberry bush survived? doest diesel kill them? drill a small hole (under the cover of darkness of course!) in the trunk and syringe some into the trunk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted August 12, 2010 Share Posted August 12, 2010 It must be dead by now surely? Did the wind get up one night or did it catch fire? Or maybe the local hound pee'd up it & it happened to pee weedol. Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunty e Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 Pour practically neat glyphosate near the base (but keep chooks away for a day or two). They'll never know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krysia Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 I have been thinking about this and am wondering if the bush is the tip of the iceberg? is it nothing to do with the bush? more to do with the fact it was a gift for a wedding / off a relative no longer living? Or is it more sinister? maybe you cant move it because of what you might find buried underneath? treasure? jewellery? a body Id be careful if I were you you might find yourself under said bush if they find out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 I reckon the best thing to do would be to spray it with roundup/hammer copper nail into it or whatever you are going to do the night before you go on holiday, make sure the outlaws see the bush looking "nice and healthy" the day before you go then you can express shock and sadness when you get back to find an ex-gooseberry bush where there was once a thriving specimen? Either that, or maybe we could all concentrate on sending negative-gooseberry-bush-vibes to it ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathybc Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 my mother is still available for rent if required...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
