3.6m Omlet Chicken Run for sale, Brand New in Boxes, Milton Keynes (MK19)

[chickinboy]

Ummm...please don't judge me.

 

We have the most repulsive gooseberry bush at the end of our garden. Our house backs on to my in-laws garden, and as we bought the house from them, they have a gate into our garden, and still regard the gooseberry bush as theirs. I get daily reminders not to touch it (after they caught me hacking into it with a spade a couple of years ago). It barely produces any fruit and it's the ugliest bush I've ever seen. I've spent thousands on the garden over the last few years, and this is the only thing ruining it.

 

My chickens are dreaming of a new WIR, however, the only thing standing in the way of their new home is said gooseberry bush. One ugly bush is preventing the eternal happiness of me and four chickens.

 

Hypothetically, is there a substance that, if accidentally spilt on the plant, would kill it, quickly and quietly, without leaving any evidence, other than typical signs of, erm, gooseberry bush disease??!!

 

Shhhhhh!

 

P.S. I promise I'll buy the in-laws a new gooseberry bush to cheer them up. They'll have to have it in their own blinkin' garden though.

[Cinnamon]

Hilarious!

 

No ideas,but good luck..............maybe a quick spritz of weedkiller on a sunny day,when they are out though

Can you not dig it up & plant it in their own garden?

[chickinboy]

Will try the weedkiller - it had crossed my mind, but I was holding off in the hope that the bind weed that I've trained up the side of it might squeeze the life out of it.

 

Sadly, my polite suggestion of moving the bush to their own garden was met with total disgust. It was like I had suggested we burn down the house and build a car park in its place. I know the bush has been there for generations blah blah blah.......but's it's preventing chicken heaven!!

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Perhaps there are some gooseberry bush thieves working in the area ? What a tragedy it would be if they took yours .

[Christian]

*cough* Round up.

[Couperwife]

what about a rusty nail stuck into the main trunk

 

what about an axe through the main root when no one is in?

 

cathy

x

[chickinboy]

Thanks for the suggestions! Haha, I love your evil minds! Going to start with an accident with some Round Up, and take from there....!

[cathybc]

I could lend you my mum to plant sit - she is the opposite of green fingered, if I buy her a plant I apologise to it as I will usually be sentencing it to a short life....

[Egluntyne]

This is the funniest thing I have read in ages.

 

Could you accidentally sever the roots with a spade?

 

Wait till they are on holiday and blame a fictitious gardener for misinterpreting your instructions and removing the wrong bush?

[Jools]

Can you build the WIR around said bush and let the chickens kill it for you? They'll really enjoy doing it.

[Charlottechicken]

Can you build the WIR around said bush and let the chickens kill it for you? They'll really enjoy doing it.

 

Actually, that's a really good idea. They will eat all the leaves off and kill it that way, and there's no hard feelings from the in laws either

 

Do let us know how you get on

[Chucky Mama]

This is hilarious - how about a gang of secret Omleteers with balaclavas on stealing it in the middle of the night .

[Snowy]

I'd go with building the run around the bush as well. Tell the in laws that chickens don't touch gooseberry bushes and it will be quite safe and indeed fertilised and might actually produce fruit now. Mine ate all the shrubs in their run except a holly bush so I don't think it will stand a chance

[craftyhunnypie]

Go find some slugs! Transplant to hideous gooseberry bush & let them munch!

My dad once hated nextdoors lupins. He waited for a bit of a windy night, then made a gadget. It was a cane with a curtain tie back hook in the end. He fished it round the stalks of the lupins & gave it a yank.

Whoops! How the wind got up that night!

 

Emma.x

[Cinnamon]

This is officially my favourite thread on the forum.

[Christian]

Me too. It's made me chuckle

[TAJ]

So why can't you just dig it up and put it in a nice pot for them?

 

Tracy

 

...but if using a nail to kill it it is a copper nail that you hammer into trees to kill them, not just any old nail

[tom123]

Is the bush dead yet?

 

[Tiggy]

why do they love it so much it it dosnt produce anything Any how Im sure gooseberry bushes need pruning and somehow the shock killed it weed-killer- got to be done

[Krysia]

I am loving this thread! what's the latest? has the gooseberry bush survived? doest diesel kill them? drill a small hole (under the cover of darkness of course!) in the trunk and syringe some into the trunk!

[craftyhunnypie]

It must be dead by now surely? Did the wind get up one night or did it catch fire? Or maybe the local hound pee'd up it & it happened to pee weedol.

 

Emma.x

[Aunty e]

Pour practically neat glyphosate near the base (but keep chooks away for a day or two). They'll never know...

[Krysia]

I have been thinking about this and am wondering if the bush is the tip of the iceberg?

 

is it nothing to do with the bush? more to do with the fact it was a gift for a wedding / off a relative no longer living?

 

Or is it more sinister? maybe you cant move it because of what you might find buried underneath? treasure? jewellery? a body

Id be careful if I were you you might find yourself under said bush if they find out!

[Bramble]

I reckon the best thing to do would be to spray it with roundup/hammer copper nail into it or whatever you are going to do the night before you go on holiday, make sure the outlaws see the bush looking "nice and healthy" the day before you go then you can express shock and sadness when you get back to find an ex-gooseberry bush where there was once a thriving specimen?

Either that, or maybe we could all concentrate on sending negative-gooseberry-bush-vibes to it ...

[cathybc]

my mother is still available for rent if required......