Eglu Go Up with 2M run for sale Wrexham

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

We've not posted the name on the interweb as we've only told some friends, and not family. To avoid the politics.

Go check your fb mail, Snowy.

 

I've repeatedly heard the No Visitors thing, and it's a very me thing to take an option on. it's what I want to do - a fortnight of 'us' time gelling as a family and working it out and getting over a pretty big operation!

 

I ran away for my wedding remember? Family are a stress.

 

But family do so love to suffocate - on both sides. I've seen not a glimmer of what do you want, how can we help. It's just WE WANT TO SEE THE BABY! Like she's a museum exhibit and it's a god given right because there's a genetic link. I can understand that they want to see her, but can we get healthy and settled first?! She'll be around for a good long time if a terrible disease or sids doesn't get her. This newborn clamour is a stress and a half!

[The Dogmother]

I had a C section too and was pretty strict about visitors as well, despite the fact that I was mobile and not feeling too bad at all. I just didn't want people fussing, or feel that i had to provide refreshments or small talk when I didn't really want to. I found that telling everyone that I'd be 'open to visitors' on a certain day and time sorted that one out.

 

I don't normally want my mother around when I'm poorly (Italian mothers = smothering ) but when I'd just got home and wanted someone to keep an eye on the baby while I took a bath or just rested, it was invaluable, but on my terms only.

[Space Chick]

 

The only thing I'd add is that if you decide to breast feed, you'll need to be awake at feeding times, but it doesn't mean you have to inherit all the peripheral stuff associated with the feeding time

 

I've just bought my sister a breast pump ready for her new arrival, in the hope that she will be able to get some sleep and her husband can feed the baby, as she wants to breast feed..... just a thought

[Old Speckled Hen]

He can hold babe to breast in the middle of the night while mum sleeps.............or is that a stupid comment?

[majorbloodnock]

 

The only thing I'd add is that if you decide to breast feed, you'll need to be awake at feeding times, but it doesn't mean you have to inherit all the peripheral stuff associated with the feeding time

 

I've just bought my sister a breast pump ready for her new arrival, in the hope that she will be able to get some sleep and her husband can feed the baby, as she wants to breast feed..... just a thought

 

It wouldn't necessarily work for everyone, but since my son hated the Moses basket, my wife and I got into a reasonable routine. She would breastfeed at about 7ish in the evening, then would hand him to me and wander off to bed. I'd then curl up on the sofa with him and we'd doze together until midnight, at which point I'd take him upstairs, give him to my wife for the midnight feed and then get some proper sleep myself. It meant that, despite a babe that didn't want to sleep alone at that point, both I and my wife got about 6 useful hours' sleep per night, which is eminently acceptable. Of course, as soon as he got a proper cot of his own, he was happy to sleep in it, and straight through the night too, meaning we were back to proper nights of sleep.

 

Teamwork comes in many shapes and sizes, but this was our take on it.

[Chucky Mama]

Ignore people who tell you that their babies are sleeping throught the night when yours isn't. They lie

[The Dogmother]

mine never slept through the night until she was 3 years old!!! I was the same apparently

[majorbloodnock]

Ignore people who tell you that their babies are sleeping throught the night when yours isn't. They lie

Oh, no they don't. They sit up, they lean over the cot, they wander around with babe in arms, they may even relocate to the sofa. However, they don't manage to lie. At least, not lie still.

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

I'm resigned to up all nights. On the plus side, I've had a lot of practice. I'm up every couple of hours all night, with a long bit between 4-7am most nights. So I'm hoping it won't come as as much of a shellshock as it might have!

 

Got a pump for contigency Spacechick. Keen to try without to begin with, and have been practising hand expressing too.

 

So much to discover!

[Snowy]

I found the pump very handy at first - I was never convinced MS was taking anything, so to be able to express some for him to take from the bottle was reassuring that I was producing the right stuff and he was getting enough! I used to try to express some to save for emergencies/nights out, but in practice it rarely got used. Once we got into the swing of it I never used bottles/pump/ steriliser after the first four weeks. It was so easy to feed them myself. Although we made a rod for our own back with no3 as I just didn't bother to express/bottle feed at all. And missed several christmas parties because I couldn't leave him, he just would not take a bottle!

[Lesley]

You've just reminded me Snowy - even if breastfeeding use a bottle for a very small amount of water so that baby is used to the bottle. Two weeks before my daughter went back to work she started expressing milk and trying L with the bottle - it was a complete nightmare , she just wasn't having it and refused to take milk. I ended up banishing my sobbing daughter to another part of the house whilst I persevered and it took a good week. Not what my daughter needed before going back to work when she didn't really want to.

[majorbloodnock]

In contrast, we didn't do anything in advance to prepare our two for moving from breast to bottle. The only ruse we used was to have me be the one to feed them from the bottle, because, since they only associated me with cuddles, getting fed was a happy bonus for them.

 

I say this not to suggest Lesley's wrong, but as a simple example to demonstrate what's been said earlier in this thread; there are lots of "right" ways to do things, and "different" doesn't mean "wrong".

[Lesley]

We thought that would work with me, as Grandma, doing the bottle feeding - just goes to show that all babies are different L was a stubborn little madam from the day she was born

 

(I don't know where she gets it from )

[Happy chickens!]

Make lots of rational decisions now .... and be prepared to throw them all out of the window if they don't work for you. Babies are both very fragile, but incredibly tough, so as long as you are seeing to the basics the rest will sort itself in the end.

 

With regard to visitors, I know just what you mean as I didn't want anyone to stay while we were 'bonding' as a family; but the weeks pass so quickly (won't feel like it day to day ) couldn't you have a day of visitors and get it all out of the way earliesh as a compromise? I would have been gutted not to see close friends/family's babies for weeks.

 

Just a thought with regard to washing - after a c section no lifting heavy loads, so would delegate that job to OH!

 

Good luck and best wishes for a safe delivery and healthy baby chicky chicken.

[majorbloodnock]

I almost forgot to mention. A baby crying is very difficult to ignore in any case, but there's nothing that finds your raw nerves like your own baby's cry. Of course, it has been designed like that to ensure you pay attention when the babe is trying to tell you something's wrong. However, nature has got it down to such a fine art that it's almost certain you'll want at some point to do all manner of things to just shut the noise up. This is not a bad thing. It's only bad when you act on the wishes (obviously), but so long as your annoyance remains thought, you're still being a good parent. And even if you do slip and say something snappy at your baby, you'll by no means be the first, so don't set yourself off on a guilt trip.

 

It's also the case that your priority is to take away the babe's reasons for crying, not to stop the crying itself. If you're confident the baby's needs have all been taken care of and it's still wanting to have a cry, there's no need to take it personally.

Edited October 5, 2010 by Guest

[chickweed]

The best advice I was given was "Don't listen to any advice and do what you think is right for you and your baby".

 

Nice to have a good friend or relative to help out though, to give you a break or a sympathetic ear.

[bluekarin]

^above^ All excellent advice and wish I had taken/known some of it

 

My one little nugget would be before sitting down to breast feed your baby, make sure you have a large glass of water, a cuppa and a sarnie. All within reach. There is nothing worse than feeling thirsty and/or hungry whilst feeding but not being able to do anything about it. A lesson I learnt with ED when settling down to feed her......and seeing my cup of tea on the table *gasp* Breastfeeding is thirsty work. Oh, and the telly remote next to said cuppa

 

And rest rest rest as much as you can.

 

EDIT Above all, hope all goes well xxx

[..lay a little egg for me]

Ignore people who tell you that their babies are sleeping through the night when yours isn't. They lie

Oh, no they don't. They sit up, they lean over the cot, they wander around with babe in arms, they may even relocate to the sofa. However, they don't manage to lie. At least, not lie still.

[Calamity Jane]

I wish you all the love in the world with your new baby. It is THE most amazing time ahead. Things will be overwhelming for you both, but just look out for each other (and baby!)

 

With regards to visitors, having read this thread I think maybe the "have a day put aside" option sounds good. But you would still have to be strict.

 

Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy xxxx

[chickencam]

With regard to visitors, why not tell them that the c-section is in 21 days, not 11

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

We told them the date. I don't think I can handle a whole visitors day. Too much. No - they will have to lump it and be done. The reason we want to keep certain people away is because of their neediness and vampiricness. Those who care about us and our needs as parents will be welcome much quicker. Guess they'll have to learn their lesson. I don't have the energy to compromise on this one, weirdly. It will be easier for once to stand ground!

 

Good tip about the cuppa to hand, bluekarin.

[Seagazer]

My MIL invited herself and her YS (who was about 28) to our house for Christmas - 17 days after I had had YS her words were that she could look after the baby and older kids whilst I rested It wasn't exactly what I had in mind for our first Christmas with YS.

 

Stand your ground and do what you want, if you don't want visitors then say so.

[Looney]

My OH's sister was invaded by her mother-, father- and sister-in-law the afternoon that she got home from hospital with her first baby....and they all stayed for a couple of nights in their small two-bedroom terrace house They weren't exactly invited but no-one said 'no' either!

 

My family (Mum, Dad, Brother and Sister-in-Law) were all invited to come over for a few hours a couple of days after Bogwoppit was born, but they all went home again and they came armed with food and drink! I still think that was one of the best and most welcome meals I have ever eaten!

[Alis girls]

All the best - most of the words needed are 4 lettered ones PUSH and PANT and maybe oops nearly a few naughties you might shout at OH. All the best.

[majorbloodnock]

Agreed. The C-section may remove the need for serious straining, but still don't forget to swear at your husband; it's traditional and he'll be expecting it.