Chicken boarders

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

... until I give birth.

 

Anyone got any tips they'd care to share on how to seismically shift from woman with bump and husband to - eeek! Mummy and daddy?

 

I'm excited, but the more info the better.

[Space Chick]

No advise, just wanted to wish you well

 

It's my sisters due date today, and no sign of my nephew wanting to make an appearance yet

[Janty]

Good luck for 11 days time.

 

No tips from here either but you'll be fine. You have 'good Mum' written all over you.

 

[jlo]

Don't take too much notice of all the advice you will receive...you will both work it all out together!

 

The only thing that I would say is that babies - even when they are fast asleep - are really noisy. He/she will probably not need waking up for a feed when you think that he/she will. Also - sleep when you can during the day. Housework is NOT your priority!!!

 

....edited to add.....all the best

[Chucky Mama]

Be prepared to get grumpy with your OH in the early weeks. Enjoy every minute, each stage passes by so quickly. You can't buy the time back so make the most of it Try and catch up on your sleep by having a sleep when the baby sleeps. There are no prizes for going through unnecessary pain, or for exhausting yourself by trying to keep an immaculately clean house.

[Plum]

Agree. We're counting down with you but we will sit back while you do the hard bit.

Your little chicken will be here soon.

[Looney]

Ooh exciting! All the best with the birth

 

Hmmm, words of wisdom....well, you'll learn as you go along! From my experience (and everyone is different of course), don't try and be superwoman! Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it, whether it be help with feeding, help with post-birth health niggles, help with doing the washing-up! I ran myself ragged and ended up totally exhausted - mainly because in my mind I had to be in control and do everything. Lesson learned, next time I'll be more willing to be looked after a bit too!

 

I agree about being grumpy with OH! Tiredness was usually the culprit in my case, not anything OH had done in particular! Poor bloke!

 

Stock your freezer up with easy to cook meals!

 

You'll be great I'm sure. Trust your instincts Can't wait to hear news of littl'uns arrival

[..lay a little egg for me]

Very good advice so far, especially about resting when you can and not trying to keep a tidy house. I would add to that you should not feel you should have to entertain the inevitable visitors who may not realize that while they aim to come and help they can sometimes be creating more stress. If you would rather they were not there, be brave and tell them it is time to go or to come another time!

 

My second bit of advice would be to keep an open mind about both how the birth and the first weeks afterwards should go. I was so determined to breast feed that I put myself through a lot of pain and distress. I have also heard tales of women who were so determined that the birth should be a certain way that they similarly created extra suffering for themselves. Some women are very keen on baby-led feeding while others are very keen to establish a routine, in both cases rigid determination to stick to a pre-defined path may result in problems. So, be open to changing the plan if baby doesn't seem to want to go along with your ideas!!

 

Good luck with the birth and we're looking forward to seeing the pics!

[Chucky Mama]

Oh agree with the being open minded bit and the visitors. We only allowed visitors that bought food

[BeckyBoo]

How exciting, my advice would be to get your head down and soldier through the first three months - I found them really hard especially with number one as I didn't have a bloomin' CLUE what I was doing

 

Secondly, never listen to other mothers advice, especially mine - EVERYONE is different, even my three pregnancies / births were all totally different!

 

Thirdly, there's definitely a WRONG way to do it, but there are LOTS and LOTS of right ways. If it works for all three of you, it's the right way. We're all just making it up as we go along - I used to look at mothers with older babies / children than mine and think "Oh, they SO know what they're doing"......and now mine are a bit older I realise that actually it's one percent instinct, one percent guess work, one percent luck and about 97% love that gets you through.

 

And the post from lay a little egg, yes, don't set yourself expectations for the birth, feeding and the first few weeks - I wanted whale music, incense, all the bizzo, and ended up with an epidural, ventouse and forceps! The aim is healthy mother, healthy baby, there isn't a diamond BIG enough for what our bodies go through, and they don't give you a bigger one for going without drugs, sometimes it seems like a competition as to who can have the most "natural" birth, as though dropping baby in a rice field is any more worthy than having a c section.

 

Sorry, I appear to be ranting!!!! I'll shut up and go away now - good luck, once I'd got the hang of it (by no3!) birth was just amazing, think what an awe inspiring thing your body is going to do, and it knows how and you don't!!

 

Looking forward to good news and lots of pictures

 

BeckyBoo

[Egluntyne]

Rest and keep visitors at bay.

[majorbloodnock]

If, having got your child to 18 years old, you look back and think you were right in 50% of your parenting decisions, you're doing well. You will make lots of mistakes, so relax and accept it. This is the same as everyone else, though, so is a normal part of being a parent. Good parenting isn't about getting everything right. In fact, I don't think anyone can define good parenting except in their own circumstances. Do your best, love your child and you'll be fine.

[Lesley]

Agree with all the above - and don't forget that you may THINK everyone else knows all the secrets but your baby will be just that......yours and hubby's......you will know what is right, go with your instincts.

 

Can't wait for the photos - good luck.......

[Looney]

Oh, one other thing, nothing to do with the transition to being mummy and daddy though Those little net bags you get for putting delicates in the washing machine are an excellent way of keeping weeny little socks and mitts from getting lost / chewed up in the machine!

[Chickendoodle]

Do whatever works for you and don't listen to people who say that you are doing it all wrong. If your baby likes being rocked while you are wearing a superman suit then do it! Anything that works (within reason) is fine.

 

Above all don't try to be perfect - if something is particularly important to you to keep up with then make that a priority after the baby has been seen to (be it putting on your make up, hoovering the carpet, or washing up) but when that one thing has been done ignore everything else. The world won't end if you have a bit of dust.

 

If friends or relatives offer to help, don't say no I'm fine - ask them to actually do something like hoover or unload the washing machine - offer of help are genuine and people will be happy that you have found then something to do.

 

You will be more tired than you ever thought possible. When baby is asleep, rest and don't feel guilty - take the phone off the hook and turn off your mobile.

 

Finally, once you have it figured out with this baby, trust me the second baby (or was it just mine) will make you feel like an absolute beginner again

[Rhapsody]

During labour stay on your feet.

When the baby's born lie down at every opportunity.

Amazing how many people do it the other way round!

 

When you feel criticised by family/in-laws/random old bags in the street, try to remember that they are trying to justify the choices they made, its not personal.

 

Sleep is not a right of the male of the species, it is a basic human requirement.

 

Never forget how blessed you are.

 

My very best wishes

Rhaps xx

[Mrs Webmuppet]

Good Luck. I remember some very simple tips from my lovely midwife just before Little Miss Webmuppet made her entry to the world ( LMW is now a whopping 10 years old)................

 

pizza is the perfect food ( contains all main nutrient groups) husbands are capable of opening the packet and putting it in the oven and its good hot or cold!

 

and midwive's expect to see you in your night attire with hair all over the place. She also said if the house was looking really tidy and clean she would be cross with me ( I had no relatives on hand to bail me out with the chores).

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

Thanks! I think I can do the live bit!

I'm with Egluntyne, totally, but it is causing some arguments. I want a theoretical fortnight's settling and recovery time without visitors, but 'close' family (the ones who cause the most anxiety) are trying to get in early. I'm having a c-section (they call it elective, but it's frankly that or death) so I want recovery time to decide what we need before committing to hoards through the door.

 

The freezer is filling up, the laundry is almost done, and the rest of the house - whatever.

 

OH will have to defrost and nuke food and wash up daily (and feed chickens of course), and do laundry 2-3 times a week. The rest - forgeddabouddit. Is that about right?

[chickencam]

This is a very exciting and nerve racking time, like sitting on a time bomb, but relax make the most of now, and get plenty of rest. I had my first at the end of a really busy day 2 weeks early and I never quite recovered.

 

When you get home, concentrate on your newborn, everything else can go hang. Hardly anyone does, but the more rest you get the easier it will be to cope. Most of all stay very flexible, just go with it. The baby stage is very short and if the housework doesn't get done it really doesn't matter.

 

We went to see my OH's secretary on Friday evening who has a 5 week old baby. She has got to the screaming all evening stage, which most babies do at some point. Take it in turns for some time out and if necessary but the baby in it's cot for a while, take a deep breath and make yourself a cup of tea, or better still get someone else to do it. As I discovered one fraught evening on my own with my first, she was overstimulated and over tired and as soon as i put her in her cot and left her alone, she fell sound asleep and I wished that I had done it earlier.

 

Learn to say no to constant visitors and yes to offers of help.

[majorbloodnock]

The freezer is filling up, the laundry is almost done, and the rest of the house - whatever.

 

OH will have to defrost and nuke food and wash up daily (and feed chickens of course), and do laundry 2-3 times a week. The rest - forgeddabouddit. Is that about right?

Pretty much.

 

The only thing I'd add is that if you decide to breast feed, you'll need to be awake at feeding times, but it doesn't mean you have to inherit all the peripheral stuff associated with the feeding time; husbands can change nappies, bathe babies and rock children to sleep just as well as wives. How the two of you decide to share out the effort is entirely up to you, but as long as it's fair you'll both be fine.

[Omletina Kyckling]

I can offer no real advice as a non-parent but just wanted to wish you all the best with baby chicky, what's her name going to be again, my memory is like a sieve?!!

[The Dogmother]

One of my neighbours had asked friends and family to give them breathing space, but still found them 'popping by' to see if they needed anything; exasperated, she ended up putting a thanks but no thanks type sign on the front door. Along the lines of ' *** born ** weight****, thank you for your kind wishes, cards and presents, but we'd like some time together as a family'. It seemed to work.

[Old Speckled Hen]

The only thing I can remember (it was 25 years ago,after all) is really trying to sleep when babe is asleep. REST REST REST in the early days.

I wish I'd had more than one .............sigh.

 

I wanted whale music, incense, all the bizzo, and ended up with an epidural, ventouse and forceps!

 

BeckyBoo

 

Me too

AND that reminded me...........

I couldn't believe the midwife making an appearance the day after to discuss contraception before I went home. It still makes me shriek with laughter

[Snowy]

AND that reminded me...........

I couldn't believe the midwife making an appearance the day after to discuss contraception before I went home. It still makes me shriek with laughter

 

And that reminds me of OH going in for his vasectomy when I was very obviously heavily pregnant and the nurse advising us on the need for contraception for the next few weeks

 

Sounds like you have everything organised Chick, now what is this gorgeous babys name going to be (or is it to be a surprise? )

[Seagazer]

I would just echo what everyone else said about the resting. If we had too many people round I used to just say that I was going to bed to rest and left them to it.

 

I wish I'd followed my own instincts with my first baby and not listened to the midwife (sorry anyone out there) who told me that I HAD to feed my DD every 3 hours as she was premature - I spent an hour feeding her, an hour winding her and nearly as long clearing up the sick. We got into a vicious cycle. She didn't want to be fed that often. I knew it, she knew it but I felt under pressure.

 

I did my own thing with the next two and it was fine.