chestnutmare Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I live on a terrace. Not all the houses are joined as a terrace (some semi-detached, 4link etc) but we are like a terrace. I've lived here for nearly 6mths and the chickens have been here with me for most of that time (I moved myself and the chickens from my parents). I have 3 hybrids, hens. My next door neighbour just knocked on my door to tell me 'P', who lives 6 doors away from me was complaining to her daughter (next door's daughter who lives further up the street) about my chickens making a noise at around 11am this morning... apparently she was yapping on and complaining for some time. Also P says she could hear my chickens in her living room (Really? Really? No I don't think so). 'E ',who lives one door further away than P from me, said at the time of this complaining, that she didn't even know I had chickens and asked P why she was complaining to my neighbour's daughter about this. Now next door's (husband) was caught in the street this evening and P was complaining to him too. I'm new to this area so P knows my next door's family better than I do. Why am I annoyed? a) She's speaking about me to my neighbours rather than to me. b) She has a spaniel she takes for a walk every morning that cries and barks the whole time. She thinks nothing of standing opposite my house or next door talking for 10-20mins while the dog is making a noise the whole time. c) If I had a dog that was always barking, making much more noise than a few hens, then I bet she wouldn't be complaining. At first I panicked and thought, 'What am I going to do?'. Well I tell you what. I will be sitting out my front while she takes her dog for a walk passed my house tomorrow morning, this will give her the opportunity to talk to me. I will then inform her that her dog makes much more noise than my 3 hens and if she so wishes she should make a formal complaint because, as my next door neighbour states, my chickens are kept in lovely condition, their environment is kept lovely and clean, and I am not breaking any laws. I can't help but feel annoyed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duncan08 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Sounds like one of those habitual moaners, like to sound others out and get them to agree. Problem is people do like a good old moan and join in, even if they hadn't thought about it before. I would be inclined to ignore it unless she says something directly, it isn't worth getting into a row over it if you don't need to - let your immediate neighbours have a few eggs, they will support you I am sure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chestnutmare Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 [Noone else is agreeing with her though. They're too far away for any noise to bother them and my next door neighbour was here at 11 (I'm unsure if I was or maybe just left the house) and she heard nothing. The way I'm feeling I would like her to approach me about it because I don't like being spoken about to other neighbours. I don't want to row about it but surely she's trying very hard to get this message across to me as she's been telling others about this throughout the day so it's not a one off moan on her part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Sounds like she knows she's not got a leg to stand on or she would've come to complain to you . I wonder if she's trying to get others to agree with her so she's not the only one complaining. Doesn't sound like your other neighbours feel like she does, so you're best ignoring her. I can quite understand why you feel so annoyed though . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
migsy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I can well understand why you are annoyed. However, at least no-one else is bothered by your chickens. So what if she heard them at 11am? Some people love to moan. I have a neighbour who kept complaining about looking at my leylandii trees which were about 15-20 metres from her house. They were not even on her boundary and she only had a view of one of them. To stop her knocking on my door every few weeks to whinge, I have had them cut down. Her house is the most scruffy, dilapidated mess in the neighbourhood and now, thanks to the removal of the trees, I have to look at that. Her house looks like part of it is about to fall down so I think she should have focussed her concern on her own property, but hey ho, that's life. I'd just ignore this woman. The neighbours are on your side by the sounds of it. She is probably known for complaining. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peachachecha Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 She sounds like a sour puss for sure. Sometimes "killing them with kindness" works. When she walks by give her a big smile and a wave and tell her what a nice dog she has. She can then never say that you are just a s"Ooops, word censored!". I would go out of my way to say hello whenever I could. That may irritate her more and could not then be smug in her feelings for your chickens. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chestnutmare Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 But she's talking about me to at least three different households and this area is literally this long terrace I live in. I've spoken to her before and been very polite and say hello. Well if I wasn't so nice I bet she wouldn't be talking about me. I'm fed up of people walking all over me. Thanks for the replies and sorry for winging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peachachecha Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 you should be sorry. When others complain for no good reason it hurts. Chickens are not noisy, they are very relaxing. Her true character will come out in the end, others will see it in time. Just be patient and do not lower yourself to her level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peachachecha Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 ment to say you should not be sorry, and you should not!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
counturchickens Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I agree with the others, rise above it. She will look petty and you can have the moral high ground! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redcharlie43 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 It sounds like this person is the road busy body. I suspect that actually she (I presume it a she) is probably quite lonely with nothing much to do and is caught up in a negative spiral of moaning about everything and everyone. I agree that this is horrible but it sounds like your other neighbours have the measure of her and are just letting you know. I suspect if you talk to them that they will all have been moaned about by her at some time or another. I suspect that she has only just been made aware you have chickens and is curious and probably a bit jealous as well. If I was you (And this actually takes alot of courage to do believe me!) I would knock on her door with some eggs and tell her that you understand she is interested in your chickens with a big smile on your face. Then invite her round for a cup of tea to see them. I have a neighbour who actually has a heart of gold but is forever moaning about everything from the height of our fence to the tree we chopped down. I find that if I just say hello and make an effort to be cheerful and engage then we don't get the moaning as much.... Just remember that this person is probably just very lonely...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheeky Chooky Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Some people have nothing better to do that moan and b*tch about other people...but they usually get found out and end up being disliked for it. The neighbour over the road from me used to say "Oh I never hear your chickens but him next door to you says he can" and I used to take absolutely no notice because my neighbours never complained to me at all and the man over the road is just a busy-body...and everyone around here knows it! So what if your chickens were making some noise? It's not deafening and doesn't last for hours on end...AND it was 11am! As hard as it might be, I'd just ignore the silly moo You've got every right to be annoyed though (if there was a flower emoticon on here, I'd be attaching one for you ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chestnutmare Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 Aaah thanks for the lovely, encouraging comments. I've calmed down a bit now but it's really playing on my mind as, although I don't know her well, I have always been pleasant to her. I don't know what's annoying me the most - the fact that she's complaining or the fact that she's complaining to as many people as she can about me but not actually to my face. As for inviting her in, I like the idea but I won't be able to do it because I think she's a stirring little so and so. And she shouldn't be lonely. She's got a husband and she's obviously speaks with her neighbours! However I was thinking about taking eggs to my neighbours and introducing myself but avoiding her house... not that I should be making myself familiar with people six doors up from me anyway, as I fail to understand how my 3 hens could bother someone that far up the street. Hopefully everyone else will see I'm approachable and don't need to be spoken about but can be spoken to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
migsy Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I agree, ignore her and focus your positive attention on those neighbours that are worthy of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redcharlie43 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Go On... invite her in just once. If she doesn't come or continues to be a so and so..... then you can relax and know that you've done everything you can. You don't have to be her best friend. Some people are just cantankerous, nasty people but is it worth starting to have bad feeling before you know....? Some people are just unhappy..... I have been there(With a nasty neighbour that is..) and the only person you are upsetting is you! If they really are idiots then they don't care about what you think and if you know you have made an effort you can relax in the knowledge that it's not the chickens that are upsetting them but just life.... I have been in a similar situation with a past neighbour and i used to get so stressed if I saw them that I would avoid going out when they were around... I realised after much stress that the only person I was upsetting was me!!! Please don't think that I am preaching because believe me I am not but give her one chance to redeem herself and if that doesn't work then do give up, but I do know that the stress of trying to think up something clever to say the next time you see your annoying neighbour is far worse than being the swan (all being with the legs under the water wanting to kick them...) than stressing youself about some idiot who wants to be miserable.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shona Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 It sounds like you've found out who the 'village idiot' is,we've all got one ! Rise above her, ignore her and remember what goes around comes around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shona Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 (edited) And she can't do a thing about them chooking at 11 o'clock in the morning (if they were making a noise at all!) Edited November 12, 2011 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redcharlie43 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 I know people are annoying.. But have a look at Sue15kats latest post on her blog. Life really is too short... I'm an A&E nurse and I really know that to be true. Don't waste your time being angry or upset...To shamelessly pinch someone else's quote... " don't take life too seriously... "Ooops, word censored!"ody gets out alive!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chestnutmare Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 Thanks all. redcharlie I'm not one to hold grudges and I much prefer to get along happily with people but at the moment I am angry that she has spent the day complaining about me to people... sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redcharlie43 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Chestnutmare I do understand. Do what you must but if you take the higher ground you can at least be smug! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LolaLayla Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 How horrid for you. It must be especially difficult as you are new to the street. I can understand how you would want to speak to her about what she has been saying but I think in the long run it would make you unhappier, as she would probably make a mountain out of it and involve the neighbours. I would just forge relationships with your nearest neighbours and as long as they are happy with your hens I think you just have to think that the difficult neighbour probably enjoys complaining. Relationships with some neighbours can be hard. So I would be polite but not invite her in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 I don't agree that you should ignore it. If it was just one person, then yes, maybe. But she's been oaning to 3 people, and if you don't deal with it now it will be harder to deal with it later. I see three possibilities for what's behind this. a) It may be that she's she's got a genuine reason to complain (which seems unlikely, but you never know) and isn't able to approach you directly. Lots of us find it difficult to approach neighbours when we perceive a problem and, if OR b) she's eiher engaiging in idle gossip/chatter/whingeing/she's lonely etc. In this case, she probably doesn't have a clue that this is having an adverse affect on you. She would be shocked and embarrassed to realise this. OR c) she's an bit of an old bag. I think there is an approach you can take which may succeed whichever of the 3 scenarios it is. Firstly, I want you to imagine that you have heard that someone you like has a problem with your chickens and is too shy to come and talk to you about it. Think about what you would say, how you would speak, what your mannerisms woud be, if you decided to help them out by raising the subject for them. Practice saying this out loud. Think about how you would react when they tell you, and practice your reaction. Don't skip on the practice bit - things always sound OK in your head but your mouth gets confised under the stress of doing it. When you've sorted that out, go and knock on her door and use the approach you have practiced. If she was scenario 1, you've just done a very kind thing, and you can get it sorted - invite her round, whatever. If scenario 2, she will be mortified that he idle gossip has caused you to worry, and you will have handled it without losing your dignity and cool. If scenario 3, she'll probaby deny it, in which case you win. Or she might push it, in which case you can give her some rope to hang herself. If she mentions 11.00, you can say "Oh, probably an egg announcement. I think all animals are entitled to make a but of noise during the day, don't you?". If she carries on, make her be specific about when the noises are, how loud it is. You can always ask her "do you think you notice the noise because it's unusual - I mean, would you notice so much if it was say a child playing or a dog barking?". Give her rope to hang herself, but keep polite and friendly. To help you keep your temper, imagine that this is your best friend who is being a bit of an idiot and you are helping them to see how daft they are being. It's best if you go round to her house rather than trying to catch her in the street. That way you can leave whenever you want. Hope that helps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Are you a trained conflict troubleshooter, by any chance ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daphne Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Precisely what I was thinking WitchHazel - If you aren't a trained counsellor or mentor I bet many many different professionals would love to have you trained and on their teams! If you are, then no doubt you are busy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Get a cockerel then she'll have summat to moan about - no helpful I know but might make you smile. There seems to be a lot of people on forum living near trouble making old bats. I do worry I will be posting on this one day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
