The Dogmother Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Submissions in a competition published by the Washington Post 1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent. 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown. 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash. 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 That was good!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Number 2 for me . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Yeah, number 2 is excellent... I might just rename my scales 'the flabbergasters' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenlass Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Very good. LOL Ziggy at naming the scales " flabbergasters" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 I love no 13! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 This reminds me of the game 'Uxbridge English Dictionary' that they play on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. It always has me in stitches. There are some very clever people out there to think up all these alternative meanings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 If anyone has ever read the wonderful book 'The Life & Death of Charlie st Cloud', the main character has a talent for these & there are some brilliant ones in there. I love # 7 - made me hoot with laughter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 how the flatulence once made me chuckle most Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted December 11, 2007 Share Posted December 11, 2007 Very funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhapsody Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 Pokemon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 No. 5 is my favourite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted December 12, 2007 Share Posted December 12, 2007 No 3 really rings a bell for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...