Home made run and house for sale

[Helly Welly]

Oh ANH, it's just neverending isn't it? What strikes me lately though, is that whilst your Mother doesn't change, you have got much better at dealing with her. I'm sure it's not easy but your posts sound so much more confident in your dealings with her.

 

That's the positive to take from this, whilst things with your parents remain tricky, you have remained a strong person and become so much more confident in your abilities.

[MedusA]

Poor you, ANH. It must be like living in one of those irrational nightmares where everything just seems to snowball!

 

I'm so glad your Dad has remembered who you are, that must have been very upsetting. As for your Mum......one day at a time seems to be the way to go. *hugs*

[WitchHazel]

I was thinking about this thread today, and I was just wondering how things were? Hope you don't mind me asking.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Don't mind at all, Hazel . Nice of you to ask .

 

Things have settled down, relatively. Dad is very frail and is really confused about everything. He seems as happy as he can be in the home and they seem to be looking after him pretty well. I'm not sure how often he realises it's me visiting - I've just come from the home and told him I'm going back to work tomorrow. "Oh, I think Vicki goes back tomorrow too", says he .

 

Mum is much more stable these days. She missed me while I was on holiday and has been very nice to me since I came back. She still has (many) periods of doom and gloom but is coping OK, although her memory is getting a lot worse.

 

So all in all, things are a lot easier. I'm seeing Dad 3 or 4 times a week and Mum phones me every day or two (usually for a moan about something or other ) but with no constant dramas, life is much more calm.

[Egluntyne]

Am glad to hear that things are on a more even keel.

[jackiepoppies]

Good to see you back on this thread ANH......I was [like many other people, I expect!] concerned that we had heard nothing for a while but are a bit afraid to ask!

I am pleased your Mum isn't giving you too much grief at present and your Dad seems content.

Please remember we want to hear from you. {also thoughts to Poet, how are things?]

 

Jackiex

[chickenlass]

So glad things are more manageable at the moment

[Olly]

glad to hear the update, I've been wondering too.

[WitchHazel]

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[Helly Welly]

I'm glad things are a bit easier now, ANH. It's sad that your Dad is confused but hopefully he's happy which is the best you can hope for.

 

It sounds like your Mum has really changed, i must admit i'm a bit shocked. Long may it continue.

[Tiggy]

Hi there I was wondering how things were, I hope you are OK

[MedusA]

I've been away and only just caught up with the update.

 

I too was wondering how things were going and hoped that the fact of things being "all quiet on the Northern Front" was good news.

 

So glad to hear that things are reasonably settled, ANH. Let's hopw it stays that way.

[AnnieP]

Hear hear! Fingers crossed.

xx

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Just a wee update in case it's the start of more lunatic behaviour .

 

I'd arranged to take mum shopping and for lunch yesterday so phoned at 10am. No answer, assumed she was visiting dad. She called me back at 11.30, very breathless and sounded in a foul mood.

 

"I've been digging in the front garden."

"You shouldn't be doing that."

"Who else will do it? I've asked everybody I know & no-one will do it."

"Get M (my brother) to do it or I'll come round & do it."

"He already does everything round here. I'll just get him to do that too then." (sarcastic tone)

"Please don't over do it."

"I'll just under do it then. The sooner I'm dead and buried the better."

 

Slam, down goes the phone.

 

Avoided answering the phone when it rang minutes later in case it was her . It wasn't. It was my brother-in-law to say my birth mum had died (he got me on the mobile instead).

 

I can do without her histrionics at the moment to be honest .

[Egluntyne]

Oh dear.

 

Maybe best if you use call screening for a while. That way you can assess whether you think you need to respond to her calls without picking up.

 

You can always do the "sorry, I popped out for a short while" routine.

 

I can well understand that you will need a few days of quiet contemplation and don't need unnecessary histrionics or someone turning the situation around and making it all about them.

 

Been there myself so know how you are feeling.

 

Take care....and put yourself first for a while.

[Helly Welly]

I'm sorry about your birth mum ANH

 

Everything Egluntine said is good advice. Your'e a better person than me, i'm not sure i'd ever pick up the phone if i thought i'd be having that sort of conversation.

 

How's your Dad doing, by the way?

[BeckyBoo]

So sorry to hear about your birth mother ANH, I think you're always going to get this from your Mum - these things tend to go in cycles, fine for a while, foul for a while. Timings not always very good though. Hope it isn't the start of more from her though, you've had a really hard year.

 

Lots of love

 

Mrs B

[MedusA]

I agree with everything Egluntine said, hon.

 

Sorry to hear about your birth mother. Even though you knew it was coming, it must still be hard to take, on top of everything else.

 

Look after yourself. *hugs*

[Karen & co.]

I'm so sorry to hear about your birth mother Do take care of yourself though.

 

Karen x

[Paola]

Thinking of you ANH xx Take care of yourself and try not to let your Mum get you down xx

[Angels4]

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you a BIG Please know I will be thinking of you today.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Sorry, everyone, it must seem like I'm always bleating about trivial things my mum says or does . (No need to contradict me .... I know you lot .) I just worry when we get one episode, is it the start of a downward spiral and I'll lose track of what's happened.

 

My brother has shed light on why she went off on one. Apparently the neighbours put their gardener's card through her door.

 

To mum that translates as "the neighbours have complained about the state of my front garden" hence the digging. Give me strength .

 

She put the phone down on my brother too.

 

Helly, thanks - Dad's doing OK. Pretty confused and very frail but happy enough.

[jlo]

So sorry to hear about your troubles. It is so hurtful when mothers seem to act so cruelly. I have no advice I am afraid - I've had similar in the past myself. Just sending a hug.

[WitchHazel]

I'm so sorry to hear about your birth mum. You've been having a bit of a week of it, haven/t you?

 

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[Ain't Nobody Here]

For once, this is a post in support of my mother. I know . Amazing .

 

She phoned on Wednesday night to apologise and explain why she was in a foul temper.

 

Turns out the neighbours DID complain about her garden and her wheelie bins - to the Council . Two men came round with clipboards and checked it all out.

 

Now, her garden is absolutely fine. She has a gardener who cuts the grass and she pays to have the trees lopped when they need it. The driveway is a bit overgrown but it's been a bit wet for weedkiller anyway.

 

Her wheelie bins are kept in her garden beside her house, not abandoned on the pavement or overflowing and smelly.

 

So what the heck are the neighbours thinking of ? What's it got to do with them?

 

The ironic thing is, they inherited the house about 2 years ago and have spend thousands and thousands building extensions (one of which is illegal ) and completely redoing the garden - with skips, vans, cars, piles of gravel & sand parked outside theirs and my mum's house. She complained often enough to me but never to them .

 

Of course, I've only got mum's word that all this happened .