Olly Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 willing positive thoughts your way - you've made the hard decision, and don't weaken now, yes there are going to be times like this but you'll get through them. If you gave in now, you'd just be repeating the pattern; you have made the decision to change the future, and you've taken control. Thinking of you, wish I could be of practical help but I hope the virtual good will from all on here will keep you going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riane Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Well done Mrs B. I did something similar 8 years ago. It was a real turning point and very empowering . I have not looked back and neither have my kids. (strangely I used to be a Mrs B too! ) Never thought I would meet anyone else but now I have a wonderful husband and another child and life has never been so good. So look forward and when things are difficult remember that gut feeling that brought you to make the decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiepoppies Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 Hi Mrs B, Just sending you todays dose of positve vibes and huuuuge hugs Jackiex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna_0 Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 What a strong lady you are Mrs B, i'm sure it will all work out for you..life is too short to be unhappy. I hope it all goes wel for you, and keep strong Sending you lots of hugs xxx -Barbara -Margot- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Strong lady. Keep going. Never had to deal with this, so feel for you but dont fully understand how it is for you. You've done the 1st step, the hardest always, now it's one step at a time. you are in our thoughts, wish we could offer more help. hugs from here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannie Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 I know I've done the right thing, and I knew I would have days like this but I just want the sober lovely man back that I fell for in the first place. Mrs B These glimpses must make it so hard. But in reality the man you fell for then isn't still around. This is like a bereavement, so do give yourself space to grieve for the man, relationship and dream you've lost: it doesn't mean you're less strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koolchick Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 good luck keep going Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiepoppies Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Just sending todays potion of positive vibes an hugs. Hang in there Jackiex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Mrs Bertie I have only just caught up with this - so I just want to send you loads of big hugs - not being in your positoina I cant even begin to think what you are going through so can just say we are all here for you xxxxxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhotchick Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Hi, hope you are feeling positive today. {{{{hugs}}}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted October 23, 2008 Author Share Posted October 23, 2008 Thank-you, I am feeling quite positive. I went to an al-anon meeting last night (felt like I had a big ARROW above my head saying "loser here" but what a wise and long-suffering lot they were. And so friendly. Full of information, experience and support. I'm not a "sit round in a circle and share your experience" kinda gal, but that's basically what happened, but it was structured and so really useful. I came away with LOADS to think about and an understanding that I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it. So I need to stop trying and concentrate on me and the children and stop focusing on him all the time. Easier said than done a lot of the time and last night I realised that I had SO much to learn about this. But I'm a terrible one for information, I have to look everything up, research it, then DO something about it. And whilst I can't do anything about his drinking, I CAN do something about how it affects the rest of us. So yes, tiring, Mum didn't leave from babysitting til half past midnight, but very very useful Mrs B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiepoppies Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Good morning Mrs B, That sounds really positive Congratulations. You don't hang about do you Todays dose of feel good vibes and hugs winging their way over the Channel to you and the children. Jackiex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Morning Mrs Bertie That sounds really good I guess like with any kind of difficult decision / bad things in our lives you will have good days and bad days. Just remember that you and your children are the most important thing here and none of you have failed in anyway - be kind to yourselves. Morning Hugs from me xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Well done you Mrs B! You have come so far in so short a time and I'm really pleased to hear the meeting was helpful. You need support from people who really know what they are talking about. Have a good day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedusA Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Well done Mr.s B! Stay strong and continue to remember that none of this was your fault and only your ex can do anything about changing his life for the better. The Al-anon idea was great and if it helps to support you and the kids, then go for it. Get all the support you can to get through this. I'm sure you deserve it. *ongoing hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyhole kate Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Todays XxxHugsxxX and vibes all for you and your lovely family Kitty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helly Welly Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Well done for plucking up the courage to go to Al-anon, it sounds like it was really positive. And, for the record, you are not a loser, you are brilliant for taking control. We're all here for you, maybe we should call ourselves "Hugs-r-us"!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I've just caught up with this post, you are a very brave lady, my mom is an alcoholic and has caused chaos for years, good luck to you & your children inwhatever you decide is best for you all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 but he just sucked the joy and life out of me. * ...........why do men do that - I can sooo understand that comment!! Louise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riane Posted October 23, 2008 Share Posted October 23, 2008 Hang on to that gut instinct you had....and when you feel weak, stop for a moment and remember how you felt that day. I think time is good at changing your memory of pain. Think about childbirth! You did not take the decision easily but it was the right one. hang on in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiepoppies Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 Fridays positve vibes, hugs and a good fit of the giggles (having read your other post 1st ) winging it's way to you and yours. Jackiex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redhotchick Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Hi Mrs B. Hope your weekend is going well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirl Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Don't know how I've missed your message before now but wanted to send you a few ((((HUGS()))) to get you through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiepoppies Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I'm late with todays wishes for all things good .....hugs. Jackiex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiepoppies Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Good morning Mrs B, I just wanted to say congratulations. The last 10 days must have been a dreadful strain but you have achieved so much for yourself and the childrens future happiness. Be very, very proud of yourself. Hugs. Jackiex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
