Snowy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Having children (The older the mother, the funnier this is!) Being pregnant: 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your gynacologist confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. Preparing for the Birth: 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month. The Layette: 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? Worries: 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your first born. 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. Dummies/Pacifiers: 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in. Activities 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the school gates to collect 1st and 2nd babies. Going Out: 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. At Home: 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children Swallowing Coins: 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass. 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance! And always remember that grandchildren are God's reward for allowing your children to live! __________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poachedegg Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Funny.......but true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Brilliant! I pareticularly like the last line Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Oh yes!! I stopped at 2. I couldn't imagine a third......I love them dearly though, esp. as we now get sleep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cordelia Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 very funny. ..we have three Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Very good. Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chooklady Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I'm sitting here laughing, that is so true, I've got 3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angels4 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 That is soooooo true. As many of you know I live with my sister and her three boys. 1st child. You take loads of pictures. 2nd child. You take some pictures. 3rd child. Walks around asking "Is that me"? being told "No, the camera broke". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Oh dear that is sooo true I have 3 children too and there are hardly any photos of my youngest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madchickenlady Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 So true! I was a neurotic first time mum, and so laid back with number two that he virtually raised himself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Brilliant and as everyone else says so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cam1 Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 How true! My smallest asks to got to nursery! I think to avoid the boring household bits...you do much less with each onein the kiddie line! Cam mya velma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mutrix Farmers Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Very funny Snowy. I didn't think I was a neurotic 1st time mum but from reading these I realise I was!! I stopped at one, the nerves couldn't cope with anymore!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Looney Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 oooh, I'm only on my first...but I'm not as neurotic as described on this! Really funny though My parents have loads of pics of my older brother and very few of me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paola Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Sooooo true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Wonderful......and yes....boys can wear pink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bronze Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I wonder what it would say for number 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted November 17, 2008 Author Share Posted November 17, 2008 I wonder what it would say for number 4 I think people stop counting after 3 Bron! Once you have 3 you just don't notice any extras Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Speckled Hen Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I had only one too. When she wouldn't sleep I used to sleep on the floor next to her cot (very small flat no room for another bed) massaging her foot. Nothing else would get her off. Talk about neurotic mother!!!!! I was a sickly child ... bad asthma ... and funnily enough, years later, my mother said that always worked to pacify me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miffy Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 FANTASTIC and ssooooooo true!! we have 3 boys.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Only I demanded a mallet for my first when in labour then said "that's it I've had enough" and then 2 docs were rushed in to help. DS had cord wrapped around his neck and arm - as I tried to push him out, he was pinging back in like he was on a bungee! 2nd - never had time - once she was on her way there was no stopping her - it caused a bit of a panic at the hospital to get me into the labour ward in time! 1st smile - DS very late, and it was only when OH bumped his head that we had this tiny lad guffawing really loud. DD smiled straight away and then soon after it was obvious that she was going to be a clown - quite the giggler. 1st - everything got Dettoled, but when he started to eat the carpet I pretty much gave up and didn't bother with the 2nd. Food - DS had to be coaxed to eat and would play with his food and mash it everywhere. DD wouldn't eat unless she got the spoon. She pretty much fed herself at 5 months (she rarely missed her mouth). Clothes - 1st never got to wear the cute little baby grows - he was too tall and had to wear big sizes for the rest of his life. He is now well over 6ft and enormous feet (another problem with the baby grows). DD had to wear bigger sizes too, mainly because she was tubbier! Did walk miles with both. I agree, lots of pics of DS, very few of DD - and I can't remember her first word - DS's was "shower" - although he pronounced it as "shah", and it sounded very posh! Perhaps hers was "food". Reading to them in the afternoon usually saw me nodding off and they used to finish the stories for me. Now teenagers, you can't help but hope they will leave home and emigrate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple hen Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you to get there quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alih Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 We have 4...and it's all true, just more so for the 4th! The oldest thinks it's a raw deal until she sees how many photos there are of her compared to the others! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emma Tarpey Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Watch Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? Very funny..... Above made me laugh. My babies 1 & 2 are girls, baby 3 is a boy. It was cold the day of his Christening, so my 4 month old son wore some nice warm cream tights under his little trouser suit.....socks always fall off, but tights never do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
