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ClaireG

Life is so cruel.

By ClaireG, in The Nesting Box

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ClaireG Effusive Egg Layer

ClaireG

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Last January one of my closest friends had a late miscarriage. She found out she had lost the baby when she went for her 20 week scan. Another close friend and her were with her through her labour and helped with funeral arrangements etc. It was estimated the baby had died at 13 - 14 weeks :(

 

I was overjoyed when she found out in November that she was expecting again. Today she had to go for routine bloods, as she was there they asked if she wanted them to listen for a heart beat so she said yes. They couldn't find one :( so scanned her. She has lost this baby at 17 weeks :cry::cry: It hasn't really hit her yet.

 

Last time she was on gynie, this time she has to go to the delivery suite on Sunday. I'm not sure how she or I for that matter are going to cope with newborns around us.

 

She has 3 children who are 14, 12 and 9 who are understandably very upset. We have the 12 year old staying with us. I just can't believe that this is happened again and only a year and 9 days after she buried her last baby :cry:

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BeckyBoo Effusive Egg Layer

BeckyBoo

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How desperately sad, your poor poor friend. I hope it goes smoothly on Sunday although I can't believe it will be anything other than truly awful. Maybe the staff will find her a side room or private room she can be in so she can be away from all the noise and celebration. And I hope that she can find a way to get through this awful time - if it's meant to be then I hope she can go on to carry a baby to term.

 

Lots and lots of love to her and to you if you are going to be there with her,

 

BeckyBoo

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ClaireG Effusive Egg Layer

ClaireG

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Thanks all. I've just spoken to her and it doesn't seem to have hit yet. I will be spending most of tomorrow with her and going with her and another friend on Sunday. I'm trying to hold it together for her and her children but am not finding it easy. I to am hoping that she can have a private or side room and that she won't have to stay overnight.

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craftyhunnypie Chuckling Chook

craftyhunnypie

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This is so sad. You can't begin to imagine what it must be like to lose a child can you? To have to have a funeral for something so tiny is heartbreaking. Sending lots of love your way - I'm sure you will pass it on.

My sister is nearly 17 weeks & pulled a tummy muscle last week, so far she is ok. But we just hope & pray she slows down now.

 

Emma.x

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Cate in NZ Feathery Fanatic

Cate in NZ

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I am so sorry for your friend, what a tragedy, especially so soon after the last miscarriage :( . I would hope that after 2 miscarriages now, especially with this one being so late, that she would have some investigations into why it happened.

 

I agree it sounds awful going into Delivery Suite rather than Gynae, but she is having a baby, and delivery suite is the place to be with the experts who really understand the process of childbirth. Of course we would all rather that every single baby that got born was full term, alive and healthy, and thankfully most of them are. However, sadly sometimes tragedies like this do happen, and in delivery she will have 1 on 1 care with a midwife who should be able to offer her as much time and support as she needs throughout the whole, difficult process. She is highly unlikely to be in close proximity to other babies.....all rooms on a delivery suite are private...it's not like a general ward, and as long as she is well she would be discharged home from delivery suite, the chances of her needing to go onto a post natal ward with babies are very slim indeed. I'd like to think that all health professionals who care for pregnant women are sensitive to their needs and feelings, and I'm sure that the staff who are with her will do their very best to make this inevitably painful experience as positive as it possibly can be.

 

I hope it all goes well for her, her family, and for you too. You're all in my thoughts.

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chelsea SUPER CHICKEN!!!

chelsea

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My heart goes out to her aswell :cry: . How terribly tragic for her and especially twice :cry:.

 

sadly I lost one at 13 weeks (like your friend they couldnt find the heartbeat :cry: ), and I've had another one since.

 

Been told I have to have 3 before they investigate. :roll:

 

She is lucky to have a friend like you, give her time and at some point she will want to talk about it - "Ooops, word censored!"ody actually told me about their miscarriage experiences until I had had mine and I was surprised how many people there were.

 

Give her a hug from me. x

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Cinnamon Cocka-doodle-loopy

Cinnamon

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I lost a baby at an early stage once & had to go for a 'clear out' 2 weeks after they had told me that it was no longer alive.

Yes, they made me wait a whole 2 weeks :roll:

And they put me on the ward & took me down to theatre with all the women having terminations, which was so thoughtless in my opinion.

 

My heart goes out to your friend.

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kitchens Frequent Layer

kitchens

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Incredibly sad news. She is being brave at the moment, but I'm sure you will be there for her afterwards too in those dark early days! Its the songs that get you sometimes and it catches you unawares.

 

I've had 3 miscarriages and that feeling of so close but yet so far is awful. You go over it in your head and those 'if only' scenarios. I have one lovely boy whom I treasure with all my heart, but still want to give him a brother or a sister.

 

All you can do is be there for your friend, believe me she will appreciate your strength.

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ClaireG Effusive Egg Layer

ClaireG

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Unfortunatly things didn't go as planned. She had the baby at home yesterday, luckily i was there. Unfortunatly, so were her daughters aged 14 and 9 :(

 

She had asked me to take her to get some bits for going into hospital today. We were just getting out of Tesco when she started to get a pain and said she thought she might be bleeding. We were going to take her duaghters to their Aunts Via her house and then phone the hospital. We had litrally just got through the door and things took a drastic turn for the worse. I had no time to call for help or anything and just had to try and shield the children and help my friend.

 

We went to hospital via ambulance and as delivery suite was full were put on gyne. We were there for 4 hours and she came home last night. I spent the night there but am home now but on standby, another friend is with her.

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