Busybird Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 A chickychickychick-ENN!! wrote I don't understand why children aren't involved in family events. Conversation with people of different ages and different (read opposite and annoying sometimes) persuasions are surely good for their social skills. If they're going to wear headphones they might as well not be there and if they're not, bleepy noises in the middle of dinner are really annoying. Plus computer games are so insular. At least with board games or drawing they can engage with each other as a group. Absolutely - varied conversation great for social skills and computer games insular. The problem is when others won't treat the children with the same respect that they give to adults - when they laugh at them, mock them and then expect them to just smile and take it. Claret, from other posts it seems that Rosie is a truly lovely girl and I am sure that a lot of that is down to you being a great mum . All I can say is that I have done the best I can to bring my kids up well and they are not always lovely. They are a lot better than many but this evening has all the potential to bring out the worst in them. Ness3103 wrote good idea, get the kids drunk and hope they fall asleep I need to lighten up don't I Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abwsco Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Ah, fingers crossed it's not as bad as you think it will be and in the grand scheme of things it will only go on for a short time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Busybird, we can all only do our best, and you sound like me in that your children are pretty good but you are looking ahead & expecting the worst as you don't have rosetinted glasses.....don't let it come between you & DH, however unreasonable his reactions may seem...they are his family & he probably doesn't see their faults as they've always been there The children have asked if they can take a book....brilliant, they haven't asked to go to a sleepover so at least they realise they are expected to be there for Nan & Grandad's sake, you've told them that behaving is expected, they can read quietly after the meal......you never know, they may even be sat with people who understand children and will happily chat & play with them whilst sitting at the table.......not a possibility though if it's just one big table of your family, SIL's family and N&G perhaps, but maybe SIL's kids will have changed & your 3 will be able to steer them in the right direction.....I've watched my 2 "work" on other children & keep them in better order than normally is expected of them. Our children will hopefully have been ingrained with enough of our good traits and know what is and isn't expected of them....give credit where it's due, they may surprise you And the promise of a trip to the cinema/bowling/favourite place may just tilt the balance in your favour too {{{huge hugs}}} in the meantime honey, Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abwsco Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Meant to say have you any rescue remedy you can take? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A chickychickychick-ENN!! Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Sounds like you're taking every precaution and sensible thought going BB. Can you do something nice for yourself the day beforehand to take your mind off the stress? Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyhole kate Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Poor thing I wonder how it is going I cant believe her Oh cant see how bad this dinner is making her feel given it has physically made her It must be torture for her bless her What really annoys me is her OH's attitude bet he would be different if the boot was on the other foot Men If anyone is rude or hurtful to her or the children tonight in her shoes I'm sorry but I would put my foot down and tell OH straight that it was the very last time I was prepared to have anything to do with them. As they think so negatively of her and the Children who cares what they think if she chooses not to attend ant future gathering. She might just as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. Ohhh just the thought of it makes me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbaraJ Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 very interested to see how she got on hope it went well ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Is the meal tonight then? Poor thing - hope it's going well SIL sounds like she could easily be wound up I'd like to sit next to her and wind her up - 'I do wish I could be as perfect as you are' 'It must be so difficult being perfect all the time, how do you manage it?' 'oh so that's how perfect children behave is it? Are they this perfect at home or only when out at special family do's?' 'Do explain your methods to me, I'd love to try it on mine!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I think it's a couple of weeks time from BB's first post....I feel just the same whenever we have a "do" where DH's ex-wife is known to be attending, though he does know how I feel about her & does actually back me up.........I saw Madam in Tesco's yesterday & as I was feeling dodgy anyway & had "lost" DH, DD & DS she sent me into a total tailspin...I nearly burst into tears when I found them...........horrid and totally irrational feelings even almost 20 years into our life, but there we go {{hugs}} to Busybird Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbaraJ Posted October 25, 2009 Share Posted October 25, 2009 I think it's a couple of weeks time from BB's first post....I feel just the same whenever we have a "do" where DH's ex-wife is known to be attending, though he does know how I feel about her & does actually back me up.........I saw Madam in Tesco's yesterday & as I was feeling dodgy anyway & had "lost" DH, DD & DS she sent me into a total tailspin...I nearly burst into tears when I found them...........horrid and totally irrational feelings even almost 20 years into our life, but there we go {{hugs}} to Busybird Sha x ooops i thought it was last night! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...