poachedegg Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 we do that, poachedegg, the difficulty is when they're with their friends or their father - not everyone monitors their children. When the boys were in primary school the elder boy was talking about a particularly violent film. My daughter was called in to school about it and was puzzled because he hadn't seen the film. Turned out that all the other boys in his class had seen the film at a birthday party to which grandson had not been invited but they'd had the sense not to talk about it... also, now that they're getting older - 11 and 12 - it's more difficult to get the message across. May I add that they're both very sexist and racist - something else they get from their father and it's soooooooo difficult to combat. It is hard when there are outside influences, which unfortunately means that your daughter has all the hard work and will have to reinforce correct and appropriate behaviour when they are in her care, We have found bringing up our children (2 boys are 19 & 17 and a girl aged 9), that giving them what they want/what allegedly everybody else has or does, is actually the easiest way in the short term and saying no/reinforcing correct and appropriate behaviour is very,very hard, however in the long term it does pay off, we have gone through the teenage years with tears and tantrums (and still have it to come with our daughter ), but can absolutely see that our time, effort and tenacity was definitely worth investing and we are getting to a point with the older ones where we have given them love, morals, guidance, respect and an education and then it's their turn......... but we know they will be valuable members of Society, which is what we need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I have to say some of the worse manners here are in those parents ferrying their young to school esp our local private school where they think nothing of pushing out in front of you and I have a child in the car. We witnessed 2 accidents on a blind bend in 1 month. they are foulmouthed, bolshy and rude. The other day some idiot in a car with planks sticking out his car was on my bumper so I slowed down just to annoy him. He eventually overtook me and did the same to another driver. Frankly I wish I could have got his number and reported him. Big car, big gob, big ego I think. The kids here also like walking in the road - I have had words with a few esp as one was knocked down outside my house. I agree what is worn with people. I would start re the NHS and its troubles but wont bore you all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janty Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I had to deal with an incident at work recently where children were throwing stones and swearing at each other on the way home. When they reached their houses some of the parents got involved and joined in the swearing and encouraged their children to continue throwing stones. Beyond belief really, isn't it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foulbird Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 er... I was born where you are, Janty, and... um... I believe it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clootie Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm becoming even more of a recluse these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'd be very worried about all the undesirable opportunities that are available today for children. I'm getting at drugs! Yes I know they were around years ago, but today peer pressure seems at its greatest & no matter how good a parent you are, it is amazing what children will do under pressure or to 'escape' from reality. It is very sad today, a lot of children grow up too quickly. Perhaps I was molly coddled, but that was so nice & I have manners & respect - oh & was a good girl! On another note, if a youngster is polite & acts / behaves nicely - then I make sure I praise them. Like when we go out for a meal & there are well behaved children. Then I'll actually say to the parents - what well behaved children they have. Good standards should get praised. I'll also embarrass parents that let their children run wild in a restaurant / supermarket. I might get a mouthful of abuse, but at least it gets others attention! Watch out Emma's about! Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 On another note, if a youngster is polite & acts / behaves nicely - then I make sure I praise them. Like when we go out for a meal & there are well behaved children. Then I'll actually say to the parents - what well behaved children they have. Good standards should get praised. I agree, my children hold doors open for people and only perhaps 1/2 ever thank them. There are great children out there and they do tend to get overlooked while society copes with the ones running riot. My son (17) has just started a weekend job and has had so many customers go to his manager to praise his good manners etc. Some have emailed and written to Head Office. It makes it all worthwhile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I am proud if my daughters manners too. I remember taking them to Pizza Express with a friend and her child when they were little & they were totally shocked that she allowed her daughter to eat her pizza while standing up on her chair. My eldest got an excellent customer service award just a few weeks after starting her weekend job,and went on the 'wall of fame' in the staff room. We both have the same way of dealing with vilely rude customers (Henley seems to breed a special sort of person like this). We kill them with kindness...lots of yes madam,no madam. But in our heads we ate saying it really sarcastically. It works for us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 On another note, if a youngster is polite & acts / behaves nicely - then I make sure I praise them. Like when we go out for a meal & there are well behaved children. Then I'll actually say to the parents - what well behaved children they have. Good standards should get praised. I agree, my children hold doors open for people and only perhaps 1/2 ever thank them. There are great children out there and they do tend to get overlooked while society copes with the ones running riot. My son (17) has just started a weekend job and has had so many customers go to his manager to praise his good manners etc. Some have emailed and written to Head Office. It makes it all worthwhile Good for them CM I always thank people who forget to thank me and always say 'you're welcome' when I do get thanks; it's not hard and I can't believe how few people have even the most basic manners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I must say that it really annoys me when adults don't thank youngsters for holding doors open etc. As adults the most omportant thing that we can do is to lead by example. When I worked in Boots years ago before I had my children, I used to deal with rude people in the same way Sarah, lots of smiles and good manners, whilst seething underneath, far more gratifying than lowering myself to their level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JillM Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 You can never have too many good manners can you? Funnily enough it is often the older folks who are rudest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarrensWorld Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 You can never have too many good manners can you? Funnily enough it is often the older folks who are rudest. Someone said there's no such thing as society, and she's 86. I make you right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Madness I (think I) always try to be polite and do the "You're welcome!" thing to people that don't say thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clur Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 It's a frustrating problem isn't it, but also an exciting one as there is always great opportunity to be a part of the solution. It's always harder as individuals, but get a group of you together to tackle one or two prominent issues and you can't fail to make a good impact (I.e visiting schools and talking about road safety, or setting up youth groups to keep kids off street corners etc). You"re never going to solve everything, but empower youths and give them chances they never thought they'd have, and a lot of them will become self-policing. I work full-time (typically 50 hours a week) and have a family, but working as part of a team I've been involved with providing practical help and support for vulnerable/needy families, and am looking to set up a project for social transformation in my local area. Most issues (certainly around here) seem to be generated by lack of education and poverty, and many young people just accept that as their lot without any other positive influence, so anything that can practically help show them there's more to life can't be bad hey? They then have faaaar more impact on their peers than a white-middle class woman who thinks that just because she owns a Plan-B album, that she"s down with the yoof, innit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poachedegg Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Great post Clur! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 Well done Clur,very inspiring Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foulbird Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 On another note, if a youngster is polite & acts / behaves nicely - then I make sure I praise them. Like when we go out for a meal & there are well behaved children. Then I'll actually say to the parents - what well behaved children they have.Good standards should get praised. I'll also embarrass parents that let their children run wild in a restaurant / supermarket. I might get a mouthful of abuse, but at least it gets others attention! Watch out Emma's about! Emma.x yes, I try to make a point of thanking the parents as well as the child if a child has been polite towards me - they're usually pretty pleased Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
percy049 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 and thats only middle school... wait until they go into high school next door! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 I'd have driven on thanking my lucky stars "Ooops, word censored!"ody had been hurt. My late husband rushed into the sea in Devon when he had seen a little toddler fall over in the surf and flounder about crying. He....my hubby... was recovering from a very serious op (a laryngectomy) for cancer and had he fallen into even a foot of water he would have drowned. So this action was reflex but at some real risk to himself. The little lad ran off and some minutes later a great big guy appeared to thump my husband for being a pervert. I stood in the way .................. so he thumped me!! It's a sorry state of affairs, I know, but I would have minded my own I'm afraid. shock: thats dread full, some poeple are just idiots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuckyChickenLover- Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 and thats only middle school... wait until they go into high school next door! Today walking home from school I saw a group of PRIMARY school kids throwing rocks at cars . They couldn't have been older than 7 or 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoopsie Posted February 14, 2011 Share Posted February 14, 2011 Unfortunately some children seem to be taught to behave this way by their parents. We have had them run out deliberately (they look first) in front of the car and 'dare' us to be able to stop. Sometimes the parents are watching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chucky Mama Posted February 14, 2011 Author Share Posted February 14, 2011 I usually take my life in my hands when people drop litter by saying 'oh, I think you dropped this'. I did it to a car load of men who did it at a services. They walked past a bin and dumped all of their litter, including stuff from their car on the floor next to it. I knocked on their window and they picked it all back up. I was about to do it when I saw some children dump mountains of litter out of their car outside a takeaway but just as I was getting out I spotted the father passing it to them He was not the sort of guy that you ask to pick up his rubbish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whoopsie Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 I actually saw a man TELL his son to spit his chewing gum out on the pavement outside a shop. His son had walked towards the bin to get rid of it and his father CALLED HIM BACK!!! No hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 15, 2011 Share Posted February 15, 2011 Rosie was always anti-litter bugs when she was little; if we saw someone dropping litter in the street she'd pipe up (in the way that only a small child can) 'look Mummy, that naughty man dropped some litter, shall i pick it up for him?' It usually shamed them into picking it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
