Poorly chicken

[CatieB]

I am feeling rudderless. I always knew I wanted to follow my chosen profession, so much so it cost me over 20k to qualify. However for the last couple of years I have felt more and more unhappy. The terms, conditions and pay are rubbish and I am so unhappy now Im having sleepless nights. Having always wanted to do this though I now feel lost and scared. Im not sure what else to do.

 

Has anyone given up a profession and been glad. Or indeed given up for a while and then gone back? If you gave up did you know what you wanted beforehand. I wish I had a crystal ball. Its so difficult not knowing what I want and worrrying about making the wrong decision.

Edited September 15, 2015 by Guest

[keyhole kate]

No profession here but you sound just like my DD feels about teaching now money is not the be all and end all speaking as someone who has poor health your Health is more important if you continue to feel unhappy in your profession it will begin to affect your health in one way or another

 

I can't imagine it's not something you couldn't go back to, maybe a break might be what's needed to give you a fresher prospective ?

 

Good Luck x

[Bramble]

CatieB, I am SOO with you on this - profession I HATE HATE HATE and SOOOOO want to get out of ... trouble is, I'm on my own, so a leap into another job is seriously scary. Like you, I spent a lot of time and money qualifying and simply wish I hadn't bothered. I wish I could offer you some advice, right now, I feel like "life is just too short" to spend so long doing something that makes us so unhappy (I know we all, mostly, work because we have to, not because we want to - but there are degrees of unhappiness which shouldn't be overlooked).

Please keep us updated on how you get on - if there's anything I can do to help, just holler!

[Olly]

I have already made a 'sideways' move which uses my professional status but took me out of the stressful and not particularly well-paid role I was in, so my first thought would be whether there is something you could do which would use what you've learned - teaching, advice, consultancy or similar? There are various career advisory services you can use, or a good book is 'Build Your Own Rainbow' (there are probably others, it's years since I looked at this).

 

I think the point is 'are you enjoying life' and if the answer is no, then you are in the wrong job - it doesn't matter how long you worked for it, how hard you studied and how much it cost. Nothing is ever wasted, the skills you have learned will be useful elsewhere and at least you can say you have done it. Don't get hung up on what other people will think, or whether those who supported you in your studies will be disappointed etc - friends will just want you to be happy.

 

I have enjoyed my 'other' role, but due to changes in the company where I work and the fact that I've been doing it for fifteen years, I am now finding it equally stressful and boring, and I am contemplating something different, probably the last big change as I'm in my fifties. It is scary but also exciting, and it's likely to see my income drop by 2/3 - friends think I am crazy to consider giving up a well-paid job, but I would rather have more time, and enjoy what I am doing and have less money. Status and money are not as important to me as health and contentment.

 

What's the worst that can happen - you still have the professional qualification, and you can go back if things don't work out.

[Daphne]

Extraordinarily wise words from Olly

 

Although not the same situation as yours, 10 years ago I gave up a very well paid job in London for a perilous existence running my own business. Best thing I ever did. Life is all about living, and as work takes up the majority of our life, if you don't enjoy it, and worse it is making you ill, then change what you do. The investment you've already made is not the most important variable here, its your health and wellbeing. And in case, as has been said, I bet many/most/all of your skills will be transferable.

 

I have a friend who has spent 30 years being trained for, and doing, a high level job in a specialised field. She has recently left as she couldn't bear the organisational uncertainties anymore, and it was making her ill and on medication. She has applied for 3 jobs (part-time) and been offered all 3, doing very different things to her former life. She is 50, sensible, hard-working, intelligent and experienced, and new employers have recognised this. She has accepted 2 of the jobs to make a full-time occupation, earning substantially less, but with hours to suit her. She is also launching a business. She is a new woman!

 

You don't have to follow this superwoman route, but I would sincerely say that life is too short to do something which is making you unhappy, and even worse, ill. Its natural to worry about making the wrong decision, but in my experience, things tend to work out well in the end, you can take positives out of everything, and in any case work-related decisions are rarely irrevocable!

[stu]

I gave up my job in academia in 2008 and moved from the UK to Ireland, where, it has to be said. circumstances allowed me to (had we not been able to afford this... I would not even have considered it).

 

I didn;t hate my job, but was pleased to be moving on from it... as with so many situations... things get tougher... fewer people doing more work and increased pressure.

 

The advantages of being in a job are that you can generally predict this 'deterioration' in your workload... the problem with circumstances is that you can't predict them at all, and as you might imagine... they don;t always go in your favour.

 

I would be very careful about just up and quitting a job that allowed me to live, and not without some form of risk assessment, and by this I mean... what is the worst that can happen to your circumstances?

 

It is your right now I believe to be able to tale a career break of up to three years (Thanks to European employment law?) I might be wrong, but ask for it... take some time away, and if you can get by without your work (being able to work another job on a career break is up to your employer)... all well and good.

 

Good luck

[Charlottechicken]

I absolutely hated my job, not a profession though, just a low grade civil servant for 24 years. It was stressful, and as I am a good worker, I was constantly being pulled from pillar to post, also working well above my grade for no extra reward, because they knew I was more than capable of it. Six months ago, out of the blue, voluntary unsifted redundancy packages were offered. I applied and have been free since 28th March! I will register as self employed from the beginning of this tax year, I don't want to work for anyone else ever again, if I can help it. OH, who is self employed, is giving me a few hours work a week, and I am working on something to drip feed a bit more cash through in a few months time. At present I will be doing half a day a week for OH, and the rest of the time will be sorting out mine and my mother's house, as we both want to sell up and move. In the meantime, I am relishing the prospect of living on very little, it's something I can do well!

 

Today, OH and I have both enjoyed a wonderful day out at Kenilworth Castle, and it was so relaxing just knowing I do not have to think about work on Monday. He is more relaxed, knowing I am not getting stressed and wound up by work, and that helps him too! I don't think it has sunk in yet, it just feels rather relaxing at present. I am lucky though, my mortgage was paid off years ago, I have no debts and my bills are all very low.

 

[soapdragon]

I have a friend who gave up a very well paid career in medicine due to the stress....sad as she was amazing at what she did but just felt burned out and unable to cope and that, consequently, she could easily make a very grave and possibly life threatening mistake.

 

She applied for and got a job as a live in housekeeper in deepest Sussex which came with a tied cottage...she works for a lovely couple and is really relishing her new life; she has chickens . Tho the accom is tied she is saving and has a nest egg from the sale of her flat so is not too troubled about the future.

 

I cannot believe the change in her since her 'move'.

[Olly]

Sadly, Stu there is no right to a 'career break' - I would love a sabbatical and perhaps if I'd had one I wouldn't feel as fed up with my job as I do!

 

CatieB, in January I did three things when I realised that the sick feeling on returning to work wasn't just post-Christmas blues. I knew I couldn't change things immediately, so I gave myself a year to make a new plan. When I feel desperate, I tell myself 'this time next year ...' Or 'this is the last January that I'll have to ...' The timing might change, a year may not be enough but that's up to me.

Secondly, I am on a huge economy drive. I'm determined to pay off as much mortgage debt as possible this year, so I'm in a more secure position and can afford a drop in earnings. It's also getting me used to living on a budget.

Thirdly, I decided that every day I would do something to take me closer to where I want to be - whether that is home study, researching alternatives, checking my budget, investigating utility switching to help with the economy drive or anything else.

 

It's made me feel much better, you'll have your own ideas but it's important to feel that you're in control of things.

[CatieB]

Thank you everyone for such wise words and pointers. I had no idea of the existence of career advisors for adults or qualified people. That alone will be helpful I will make contact to see what advice they can offer.

 

The thing that has really struck a chord is Olly's suggestion of the plan...next year I will not be doing this.

 

I do not have the luxury of being financially secure, our mortgage is HUGE not because we live in a mansion or huge property but because we got on the property ladder so late (something else to thank my student debts for!). Downsizing is not an option as there wouldnt be many properties cheaper than ours. So we need me to work.

 

I have two schools of thought, is it better to work in an area I have no real passion for with the advantage being I go home and close my door. The other way would seem to be work in an area of interest to me, where I have great passion but that means caring. I'd probably end up working for a charity, if a can persuade them and it would be for peanuts.

[Lavenders_Blue]

I work for a charity - obviously I don't know what sort of work you do - but I love it and it would take a lot to persuade me to work outside of the charity sector now. Yes, the pay is absolute pants, I think it's assumed most people work for the love of the job (we do love our jobs, but we also have bills to pay like everyone else!) but to see the difference it makes to people's lives is what makes it all so worthwhile. I get a lot of job satisfaction.

If you do decide to work for a charity, there will be an awful lot of things that frustrate you - some seem to be stuck in the dark ages with their processes and procedures, and in some cases the way money is wasted should be a criminal offence Obviously I'm making vastly sweeping generalisations here, and many charities are run incredibly efficiently and well, whilst others shouldn't be allowed to call themselves charities at all - and everything in between - but if you find a good charity to work for, who really do make a difference in their field, then the work can be great.

Good luck whatever you decide!

[freddie]

I gave up about two years ago, when Voluntary redundancy was offered. Never regretted it for a day, although it may get interesting when we have to renew our mortgage when the current fix runs out in 2015.. We'll see. We dropped about 11k when I quit. but it has been worth it. I like rice!

[Looney]

Hi, you can try speaking to someone at the National Careers Service (google them), they offer free advice via webchat and I believe you may be entitled to one free face to face session...worth checking out.

 

I don't have a profession, I am a civil servant and often wonder how in earth I ended up doing what I'm doing and think I should be doing something else! Wishing you luck xxxxx

[Bramble]

One other option - could you stay in your current profession, but go part time (be it in your current job or via a move elsewhere)? If you are looking at taking a pay drop moving to a different job on full time hours, would your current job be more bearable with say a day off a week?

Just a thought? Might even be a good temporary stop gap whilst you decide what else to do?

[CatieB]

Thanks everyone you have certainly given me pause for thought. Sadly I am not full time anyway, I think that is why I have coped for so long. I tend to do full time in term time and part time in the school hols.

[chickenanne2]

I gave up being a Chartered Accountant to do something I love. Mostly I'm glad I did - the money is dreadful I've always had cheap tastes, as does my husband!

 

The costs of past decisions are already incurred, so there's no reason to factor those in now; all you have is the present and (hopefully) the future. A decent salary gives you a nicer lifestyle; and what it sounds to me that you're really asking is - a "nice" lifestyle or a "nice" job.

 

Any chance that you could live within the salary of your favoured career option for 12 months or more, whilst keeping your current role? It could help prove what you wanted, as well as giving you some savings!

[whoopsie]

I stopped midwifery after my son was born. I had every intention of going back but I realised what it was doing to me and wasn't prepared to risk my family. It's been over a year and I still haven't cancelled my professional registration or union subs - it's hard after nearly 20 years!

[Purplemaniacs]

Not thought about it before but I suppose I did many years ago.

 

I worked as a nurse in a well known London Children's Hospital until I had my DD, I never went back to nursing as I felt fitting in shifts would have an adverse effect on my DD and later my DS. I was lucky as my OH had a good job and we could survive on his salary, when my two started school I volunteered at the school and then got a job as a teaching assistant there. I am still working there and I am very happy, love being with the children and seeing them progress, at times I don't like the politics that goes on and the money is awful.

 

 

Chrissie

[patsylabrador]

I gave up policing a long, long time ago. 30years, I can't believe it's been that long. I never regretted it. We had four kids, so my husband had to do two jobs and we went without a lot of stuff.

It's been great though and just fitted us.

You never know if it's the right decision, you just have to make the most of the decision you make.

[CatieB]

I need to provide a positive, maybe mad, update.

 

It took longer than a year but I have just handed in my notice and will leave my job and current profession in December.

 

In January I will become a step up to social work student. In short it is a program aimed at producing professional social workers. I am very excited and very scared...going back to being a student; scary, particularly in something new.

 

Hubby jokes that firstly he has never been married to a student and (given that I come from a very straight profession) I can now either dye or shave my hair, get a tattoo and get piercings or do all of the above lol

 

I would also like to thank Ollie, she gave me very wise words in the original posting but has also listened to my woes and fears since in pm's. There were only a few people that I told of my plans given the fear that it would get out, so Ollie you really helped and I thank you.

[Olly]

woohoo! Congratulations on giving your notice in, and I'm really happy to have shared your journey thus far - now you're on your way.

 

I've just re read this thread and I'm shocked to see it was April 14 when I posted about my 'plan'. I stuck it for another year, left work in May and I have never been happier. I'm on a tight budget and there have been some stressful times but I now realise that my old job was not right for me. It's a sort of temporary insanity - we go on doing it because we feel we have to/we need the money/we can't give up, but once you let go you start to see things differently.

 

I don't think you'll have any regrets CatieB, there will be challenging times I'm sure but it will be so much more rewarding.

[Bramble]

Well done CatieB well well well done, I'm so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I had a hat I would definitely be taking it off to you!!!

 

Huge step for you to take but well done for following your ambition.

 

Please keep us posted on how you get on, I REALLY need to do something with my life - I'm finding myself spending a ridiculous amount of time stressing about work and am even reduced to tears at times so the time has come to take action - scary!!!

[Daphne]

CatieB - congratulations I really admire somebody going to study, I couldn't do it now, I know I don't have the application, so very well done indeed

 

Olly - I can't think of a better reason to be self-employed, than the chicken freedom it gives me I think I'd be unemployable now anyway, its over 10 years since I had a boss, although I suppose clients are like mini-bosses

 

Bramble - I hope you aren't a friend of mine in disguise, I know somebody going through the same thing! I am sending you good vibes, I've also been there over the work thing, its the worst and it grinds too many good people down, so I hope you find a resolution sooner, rather than later

[CatieB]

Bramble. I'm very sorry to hear that, you need to take steps if it is reducing you to tears. Can I suggest you use Ollie"s mantra and make a plan. Even if at this stage you only have the first point....in a year I will not being doing this.

 

 

Then be open and explore. I had no idea when I wrote my post about the existence of this scheme or that it would be for me. I'm not sure where it will lead me, I'll see. I began volunteering and a fellow volunteer told me about it just when the applications opened. Fate? Not sure I believe in that, maybe I do but certainly a pointer that it was for me.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Congratulations on making that leap . That sounds like a really exciting career move and I bet you won't regret it .

 

I know how hard it is to force yourself to make that move - after 12 years in my current job, I handed my notice in last week and start my new job with RSPB Scotland in October .