Louise Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Think you are having a bad day? > > > > >Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section > >of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The > >deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba > >tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. > >A post-mortem test revealed that the man died, not from burns, but > >from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive > >identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully > >clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. > >It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the man went diving off > >the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking > >to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of > >helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the > >ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire. > >You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the > >Pacific, the next he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket > >300 feet in the air. > > > >Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. > >Still think you're having a bad day? > > > > > > > >A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in > >the kitchen. While racing the engine, The motorcycle accidentally > >slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was > >dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, > >hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and > >bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. > > > >She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly > >large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the > >paramedics and escort them to her husband. > >While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to > >right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up > >the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the > >toilet. After being treated and released, the man returned home, > >looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his > >motorcycle. > >He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while > >attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt > >between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud > >explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the > >bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his > >buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The > >same paramedic crew was dispatched. > >As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance, > >they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. > >They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher tipped, and > >they dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, > >breaking his arm. > > > >Still having a bad day? > > > > > > > >Just remember, it could be worse . . . The average cost of > >rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill In Alaska was > >$80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved > >animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and > >applause from onlookers. > >A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both. > >Still think you are having a bad day? > > > > > >A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking > >frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire > >running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt > >him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank > >of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had > >been happily listening to his Walkman. > > > >STILL think you're having a bad day? > > > >Two animal rights protesters were protesting the cruelty of sending > >pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand > >pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding > >madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death. > > > >What?! STILL having a bad day?? > > > >Terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter > >bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting > >it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. > > > >There, now, feeling better? > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starboyhull Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 I've only been up 10 minutes and things seem to be ok! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted August 15, 2007 Author Share Posted August 15, 2007 I wouldn't brag about that too much Martin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Feel much better now Louise, thanks for that!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocobo Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Those stories are so funny. Are they really true. The last one made me laugh out loud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Thanks Louise, I needed cheering up... it's like a monsoon here and thunder too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Brilliant Thank you SO much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeymerKim Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 My day is just getting better, my girls laid their first egg today and this post just made me laugh out loud. Perhaps I ought to buy a lottery ticket!! Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 oh and super congratulations for the first egg Kaymerkim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 just what I needed - thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 I am having a pants day & that cheered me up no end Its my birthday tomorrow & we were supposed to go out to the seaside, but the forecast is so bad we have postponed it & I am having to wait in for the electrician all day instead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Well I was having a fabulous day as my cube is now fully built ( chooks being transported at this very moment by hubby!!!! I have very soppy chooks . He is cuddling Blanche to bits. But before, I was grabbing the glug from under our wind out veranda. I forgot it had been raining. Next minute......whoosh. Yes you guessed it, I got soaked by loads of rain water! Hubby laughed, then saw my bottom lip was turned down & came and gave me a hug. What a guy! I can see the funny side now, but, god that water was cold & went right down my back!!!!! Eh up, Blanche is now in the cube's run! The others are a bit harder to catch! Oh, now Rita is in the cube run too. Audrey is bawk bawking at the top of her voice - she wants to move house too. She is such a scardy cat. Hubby has crawled in the run on top of all their poos, builders bum showing and has grabbed her. So all 3 are now in their cube run. Wonder who will be 1st up the ladder? Rita has the new glug sussed already. Clever chook. Photos going on in the gallery in a min. Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cate in NZ Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Some of those are hilarious Louise, thanks. My day started dull, got chaotic at work, one crisisafter another, but at least it meant that the time passed quickly, then I nipped to the local market on the way home and nabbed some real bargains (several gallons of beetroot soup cooking as I type at a real bargain price ) and since I got the letter I'm walking on clouds A good day here for me I think Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickpea Posted August 15, 2007 Share Posted August 15, 2007 Oh god I needed that!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jules. Posted August 16, 2007 Share Posted August 16, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
