Tessa the Duchess Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Just caught up with this. Lots of hugs Poet, and I too hope your dad continues to go from strength to strength. Just an aside on your sister....people deal in different ways with difficult situations and it certainly doesn't mean she doesn't care, more probably she finds it really hard to see your dad lying in hospital so ill, but getting better now. When my mum was in hospital dying a few years ago, my natural instinct was to run as far away as I could, I couldn't bear to see her so helpless and ill, but there was no one else, I am an only child, so it was all down to me, I just had to cope. Look after yourself Poet, you are being a brilliant daughter. Tessa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Sending (((hugs))) and as many positive vibes as I can muster. This is a horrible situation for you all and you are doing all you can. I had a dilema just over a year ago when my dad's oesophagus spontaneously ruptured, which is something that only happens to a handful of people each year. He was in hospital for a month. I live 150 miles away and I am their only child, he was in hospital 50 miles from their home and my mum doesn't drive. I was fortunate that the hospital has an accomodation block for relatives and I manged to get my mum a place there so she could be there for him. I was so torn about whether or not to visit, but DS was preparing for his grammar school exams at the time and we were doing his school applications and I felt that I was better off at home dealing with the admin side of things like paying bills and making sure that there was someone feeding their cats daily than I was running up and down the motorway. Everyone deals with a family crisis in a different way, your sister may have other reasons for staying away, don't be too hard on her, just keep the lines of communication open without pressure and she may well come round. You need to reserve your physical and emotional strength for yourself at the moment,as I have said you are doing what you can and feels right for you. Best wishes at this difficult time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helly Welly Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 I can't add anything to the good advice above, i just wanted you to know that we're all thinking of you and hoping for good things for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Took a box of eggs in for that nurse that I was telling you about the other day and she was thrilled, also took some mini brownie bites and mini muffins in for the other nurses (made with free range egg from the co-op), they were chuffed to bits. We got much more info today and were told his sedation has been reduced, his white blood cell count is down (so looks like the pneumonia is in remission), his stoma has started to work properly, he's had a little bit of insulin as, now that his feeding tube and stoma seem to be working properly, his blood sugar has gone up a bit high, but nothing to worry about. He's taking a few spontaneous breaths but not well enough to come off the respirator machine just yet. He woke up slightly while we were there and opened his eyes a tiny bit. His heart rate is still a bit erratic so fingers x'd they can get that under control. The head/boss nurse has been put in charge of looking after my dad and the consultant has told them to tell us we can speak to him/see him any time we want to if we're worried. what a difference! I'm much happier with the way we were treated today and they really are doing their best for him! It was the not knowing what was going on that was upsetting me but I'm much more reassured today. There's a lady in the bed next to dad and I don't think they're hopeful for her at all which is so sad, I keep hoping for a miracle for her. We had bacon and today's eggs (as a treat, normally we'd use the older ones first) on a sandwich for lunch which were absolutely delicious! We're on our way back shortly, the sun is shining, the girls are pottering about in the sunshine, Bea is out of her box most of the time now and scratching around while seated in her favourite spot. I think we've sorted the problem with the money for the camper van and when dad's better, we're all going to go either Llandudno or Anglesy in the van. DH and me will stay on a camp site and mum and dad in a nice sea side hotel so that's giving mum something to look forward to (and us). I managed to have a lovely long soak in the bath this morning which refreshed me, never underestimate the power of a good soak! I hope I'm not jumping the gun by planning ahead but it's hard not to be positive at the moment catch up with you all soon xxxxxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 That all sounds very positive Poet. And you sound more cheerful too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 TBH it's easier to deal with it by trying to be positive. I know if I don't and I crack, I'll make myself ill and then where does that leave my mum? My mum thinks I'm very strong but I think it's the pills the doc gave me He's much the same this evevning as this afternoon only he's coming round from the sedation a bit more but won't open his eyes and has statred trying to pull tubes out again so they've given him a piece of plastic tubing to hold on to. That way he can't do any damage. I wish he'd direct his energies into getting well rather than being so agitated but I guess he isn't aware of what he's doing. Hope they can get him off the sedation okay, I think that's the next hurdle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goosey Lucy Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Keep positive there's never anything wrong in looking to the future. I really hope you get to have your lovely holiday and that it comes soon. Best wishes to you and yours, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Glad things seem more positive, best wishes to you all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 I'm glad things are getting better, lots of good vibes comming your way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Any news of your Dad? Hope he's continuing to improve! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 thanks for the continuing good wishes, I'm sure you're fed up of me by now! Hi V, I've been following your thread but just don't know what to say, you are made of strong stuff, you know you're in my thoughts don't you and I'm looking forward to the time when we can both relax! Sis took over today so I won't be going til tomorrow afternoon. Mum said he's pretty much the same but has made slight progress. He's opened his eyes and is responding to "squeeze my hand" that sort of thing. They tried to take him off the ventilator but he fell asleep and forgot to breathe so they had to put it back on. He's making tiny steps but in the right direction. We're still awfully worried but definitely hopeful!!! I just want my dad back this is him with me and my sister at my wedding in 2006, I took a similar photo in with me yesterday and showed the consultant and the nurse and told them I just want my dad back. I worry they see him as just a patient with tubes coming out of him and I want them to see him as a person. I'm not knocking the care he is getting, I just want them to know how much we love him. The consultant said he is a very elegant man and he is! He was 79 when this was taken, he doesn't look it does he! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 We're not fed up at all (hope the same goes for everyone about my thread ). Hope things improve for you all soon. That is a lovely photo - your dad looks such a gentleman (& you scrub up pretty good yourself ). A nurse told me today that my dad was lovely and must have been a gentleman in his time so I know what you mean about wanting the staff to know them as a person not just a patient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Silly Billy!! Of course people aren't fed up I should imagine that most people check yours and ANHs posts first, just to see how things are! Everyone is genuinely concerned for you both and what you are having to go through. What a lovely photo of you all I echo what ANH said - he does look like a real gentleman, no wonder you are so proud of him and him of you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 thank you, both of you xxxxxxxx i was wondering where you were jules so i sent you something on facebook just came across this photo on my pc of us 3 at the docks in Liverpool, I think i was about 6 so my sis would have been about 4. Made me smile as we're stood in the same positions Sorry it's a bit small but i scanned it in ages ago and would re scan but don't have a scanner any more. He used to take us everywhere, you name it my dad took us there, even to see the ships down at the docks, he's the best dad in the world! oh yes, mum liked to dress us the same Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fur 'n' Feathers Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 We're not fed up at all (hope the same goes for everyone about my thread ). Hope things improve for you all soon. That is a lovely photo - your dad looks such a gentleman (& you scrub up pretty good yourself ). A nurse told me today that my dad was lovely and must have been a gentleman in his time so I know what you mean about wanting the staff to know them as a person not just a patient. Couldn't say it better ANH. Keep posting Poet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 I certainly read both to check how things are going - it's such a difficult time for both you and ANH. I laughed at the bit about your Mum dressing you and your sister the same - I had that with my sister, we looked like twins!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 .....I laughed at the bit about your Mum dressing you and your sister the same - I had that with my sister, we looked like twins!! thanks guys I look at kids today that are dressed the same and they look so cute but it used to drive me nuts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 he opened his eyes for a few seconds when we asked him to, he's not trying to pull anything out, he's had the shunt taken out of his neck and the ventilator is now just there as a back up as he's mainly breathing on his own! I couldn't stop kissing him and telling him I love him Keeping fingers x'd for a little bit more improvement tomorrow!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Good news . I bet your kissing him and telling him you love him did him more good than anything . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Good news . I bet your kissing him and telling him you love him did him more good than anything . that's what I hoped god bless you V, with all your own troubles you're always one of the first to send me a comforting message! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenlass Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Hi Justine ...just read your update...That is a super picture of your wedding day. Dad must so proud of you and your sister ...you look beautiful in that photograph. I'm so glad that he is still making slow but steady progress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 That is good news knowing that you are all there for him and love him so much will be an excellent incentive for him to keep getting better. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 L, just want you to know I haven't forgotten you know what. I was telling my mum today actually about your extreme act of kindness. I want to send you something very special when I get the chance, don't you dare protest either young lady! Jules, thank you my special facebook pal, fancy a tequila shot or would you prefer a beer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 ooh a baileys would be nice hun saying that I think I'm off the alcohol til this headache has gone. Had a small glass of red last night and it must have been a bad bottle x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 ooh a baileys would be nice hun saying that I think I'm off the alcohol til this headache has gone. Had a small glass of red last night and it must have been a bad bottle x right, i'll go and see what's on offer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
