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The worst has finally happened

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Well, thats done me in today. My father just called to tell me that my mother has seen the palliative specialist today and she will be coming home with Macmillan nurse care 'for the duration'.

Chemo stopped, morphine drip inserted, thank you for playing anyway.


I have just eaten a 250g bar of fruit and nut and smoked the first two ciggies in 5 years. :cry:

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Oh, Helen, I'm so sorry, what dreadful news :(

The only thing that I can say is woefully inadequate, but the Macmillan nurses are fantastic, so supportive and knowledgeable. And nice for your Mum to be able to come home with their support, but such dreadful, dreadful news that this is the conclusion after all the treatment and fight to beat the disease.

My thoughts are with you :(

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Helen, I am so sorry to hear this news about your mum. I hope you get the opportunity to treasure special moments with her. It does make you realise how precious time with loved ones is. Be kind to yourself and feel comforted by all the support coming your way.



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Helen, I'm so sorry. That is really bad news and I feel for you being on your own. I'm afraid I don't feel like joking right now, thinking of you though. :cry:

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Sorry to hear the news Helen - don't be too hard on yourself though, you're allowed to be a bit sensitive, especially on here.


Sounds like your Dad is going to need you as well - so come on here to say all the things you won't want to say aloud anywhere else.

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:( Oh Helen, My heart goes out to you. Sending you tons of love & support.

You must feel as if the rug's pulled from under you. Such a shock to hear that news, whether or not you're half expecting it.

Hope you find the strength you'll need to cope, both for yourself, and dear Mum & Dad. We'll be thinking of you.

Perhaps in the morning have a little think if there's anything you'd like to tell Mother, those small things we take for granted & don't always get around to actually saying. Perhaps share some happy memories together too.

Do keep popping back here with your thoughts, there's usually someone here. xxxxxxxx

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There is not much anyone can say to you right now that will be of any use, but I'll try, and am speaking from personal experience. If we can make the end of someones life a comfortable, dignified and stress free time then we have done a good job. Most terminally ill people will tell you that they want to die at home in the company of their loved ones. You must take all of the comfort an support you can from all your friends and relatives, talk freely about past time happy occasions look through photographs Do anything which will cause pleasures. Discuss the future too. The McMillan nursing system is fantastic so you can be sure they will make your mother as comfortable as possible. You should not view this as a bad part of life, just a last part and try to use the time left to best advantage.


I'm not sure if this has helped or upset you, I hope helped. Be strong, thinking of you XXX

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Sending you lots of love and good thoughts.


Just being able to voice your feelings on here is good (and turn to the chocolate not the cigaretts - it's a 'little' less addictive!!)


It's weird, but although I don't post on the forum as much as I would like to, I know it's one place I would come to in a time of need. Being able to post a problem to a bunch of relatively unknown people and get supportive feedback is just fantastic.



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If your up to that joke today Helen. Here is one that made me laugh


A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th

wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.


Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said,

"For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to

each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."


"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the

wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the

Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.


Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well,

this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come

again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger

than me. " The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish

is a wish...


So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - the husband became 92

years old.


The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful b*******s should remember

fairies are female.

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Bless you everyone for your lovely lovely comments and your support.



Choccy eaten, remaining fags in bin, bottle of tawny port eyed lovingly for tomorrow night when his lordship lowers himself to return to the roost. :P


Normal service will be resumed soon.


I sat and wrote a letter to mum telling her all the things I need to say last night. As she lives in London and I'm in Somerset I don't get to see her as much as I would like but we will have to see. Only 3 hours door to door on the train!


thats all I'm saying on the subject now, but thank you again, lovely lovely people. xxx 8)

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