chocchick Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Here it is Omlet forum the fairytale, some of you may be able to spot yourselves somewhere. Apologies to other regulars, (and moderators ) it’s long enough as it is. The names have been drastically changed to protect sensibilities. Once upon a time there was a man known as U Ling. U Ling lived under the reign of the cruel emperor known as Man Ging Dou. One day U Ling was out in his garden trying to decide what colour rice bowl to buy. He couldn’t decide so decided to ask his friends. First he asked his friend Chu Kihen who simply said pink pink pink! He asked farmer Les Li, and the wise sage L Jay but was none the wiser. Even Su Pe Kate and her hallowed magic pants could not help this poor feckless chap. Confused he went along the road a bit further and found a party of chickens eating G&B and drinking red wine. He joined in for a while but they said so many colours he didn’t know what to think and ended up just running round in circles. U Ling spent many a day thinking about his decision, and the sun rose and set EIGHTEEN times. He consulted many a wise sage but none would give him the answer he was looking for. Meanwhile the emperor decreed that her subjects were spending TOO MUCH TIME discussing rice bowls and not enough time working. In fact one subject Lu Ise was not working at all but just gossiping(!) Man Ging Dou set to work arranging a new hierarchy among her subjects, which included both people and dogs as well as chickens. Surely this would work? However, time and time again she discovered her subjects found new distractions. U Ling and the subjects were tired of work, but U Ling was cunning if indecisive and came up with a genius plan. If he could pretend he was the emperor everyone would stop listening to what she said and spend all their time discussing the colour of rice bowls. U Ling had also in the meantime discovered he needed another chicken house, but now didn’t know what colour that should be! Man Ging Dou was tiring quickly of the indecision. U Ling had STILL not made up his mind so she bought him a new chicken house and rice bowl thinking this would work. She thought everyone would start working again, but no everytime she looked they were gossiping and not working! She hatched a plan. Every night she added a new chicken to U Ling’s new chicken house thinking this would make him work harder. Every morning when U Ling looked confused she sent a messenger to explain an elaborate tale of how it arrived. One day she told him a chicken had turned white in fright after seeing a dragon. U Ling did not believe this and did not work harder. He realised he would have to fight for his freedom. He changed his name to Man Ging Di. It was really cunning and made his friends terribly confused. They didn’t know if he was Man Ging Di, or Man Ging Dou or someone entirely different! Man Ging Dou realised she would struggle to make U Ling work and was getting tired of sending out new chickens by post, and couldn’t find a lowlier rank for the poor downtrodden U Ling. Man Ging Dou reasoned that maybe it would be easier to just marry U Ling then should could keep him under permanent control, and besides he was quite amusing and obviously needed looking after. With her vast wealth and land as emperor he could have all the chicken houses and rice bowls in the world so it didn’t matter what colour they were. With that in mind and the narrator struggling to drag out this rather strange tale the two became married and lived happily ever after with many chickens, cats, dogs and even a goat. Because Man Ging Dou was now married to Man Ging Di, it was decided that Man Ging Di should take on a new name to avoid confusing their subjects. They decided on the name MURDO. The end Or is it? No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken on a mission Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 There's goes the bladder control ... again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieP Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Priceless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Have you thought of a career change chocchick?!!! Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 That's sooo good, Sarah. I think it should be archived and retained for posperity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicola H Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Thanks for that Chocchick, it explains everything and I now understand fully what has been happening................... I think............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Brill! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 what a great start to a Sunday morning!! Well done!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamsin Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley-Jean Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 (edited) Brilliant Chocchick You are the JK Rowling of the forum Edited April 9, 2006 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocchick Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 but *smug* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motherhen Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 I've just been told off by my OH for interrupting his rugby viewing with loud mad-hen-like cackling (how rude of him), reaching over him for the tissues to mop up my tears, and tripping over his foot in my rush to go to the loo (2 kids one with forceps!) Absolutely priceless - well done Chocchick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellcat Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Eggcellent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Of course, can't see any characters like me in it at all.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 I can I was named and shamed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Of course, can't see any characters like me in it at all.... ummmmm pink pink pink neither can i This was fab (although i think I may have been one of the chickens drinking red wine and eating G&B - cant imagine why, its not something I do more than 8 times a week......) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocchick Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin B Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
