Laura & CTB Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 a word to the wise though - just in case you don't know (and after you're dead you won't really care anyway!!) your surviving relatives are NOT bound to follow your instructions for your disposal - the decision is made by the next of kin. Phil Drat - and I wanted to make everyone wear a silly hat to mine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 a word to the wise though - just in case you don't know (and after you're dead you won't really care anyway!!) your surviving relatives are NOT bound to follow your instructions for your disposal - the decision is made by the next of kin. Phil Drat - and I wanted to make everyone wear a silly hat to mine I think that's precisely why there is no legal force to it!!! Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 a word to the wise though - just in case you don't know (and after you're dead you won't really care anyway!!) your surviving relatives are NOT bound to follow your instructions for your disposal - the decision is made by the next of kin. Phil No need to worry about that - he knows his place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooks Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I think any family worth their salt would honor someones wishes, even if they didn't actually agree or understand why they wanted it this way. Well I would like to think they would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I think any family worth their salt would honor someones wishes, even if they didn't actually agree or understand why they wanted it this way. Well I would like to think they would. you'd think so wouldn't you.... that's until you meet families who disagree about how a service will be... I have met far too many.. Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Phil, you must have had some bizarre & strange things happen in your line of work - odd services & so on. What is the weirdest thing you have done? Any nude weddings yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 There is a natural burial site near Kelso and that is where I want to go Wrap me in an old sheet and chuck me in the ground no preserving etc it gets me away from the problem of viewing my body I find the whole practice a little disgusting (just MY opinion) so don't want people gawping at me I always want my last memory of someone to be of them alive and not in a coffin so wish the same for myself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tessa the Duchess Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Phil, you must have had some bizarre & strange things happen in your line of work - odd services & so on.What is the weirdest thing you have done? Any nude weddings yet? We arranged a 'Humanist' funeral for my non-believing MIL. It was really nice, a man came round and we talked about her, her views, her likes, dislikes, taste in music, he put together a lovely 'service' with her fave music and chat about what she had done during her lifetime. Tessa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 That sounds lovely Tessa - much more my cup of tea that the usual types. Maybe I should request a nude funeral....with all the guests in the buff. Would have to insist on a closed casket though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel (& Paul) Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 What, so you dont have to see them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 We arranged a 'Humanist' funeral for my non-believing MIL. It was really nice, a man came round and we talked about her, her views, her likes, dislikes, taste in music, he put together a lovely 'service' with her fave music and chat about what she had done during her lifetime. Tessa that's pretty much what I do. (actually it's what most ministers do - tho the sheer volume of funerals that are done by the church leads to a much higher number of tales of poor experiences.) funnily enough - the funeral director in Upminster often asks me to do "non-religious" funerals.. his reasoning?? the local humanist officiant is "too impersonal" (not my words - the funeral director) have always wondered what a humanist would say if he was impersonal - turns out he has a book of poems that he reads from.... (some of them - I have seen the book - are Psalms!) I have a book of "humanist" readings.. one is described as "some ancient wisdom" and it starts.. There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for everything A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing. A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace. if I'm not very much mistaken - that's Ecclesiastes chapter 3... Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Phil, you must have had some bizarre & strange things happen in your line of work - odd services & so on.What is the weirdest thing you have done? Any nude weddings yet? most fun wedding i was asked to do - in terms of fancy dress - was a WW2 styled wedding - where they arrived in a tank and we filled the church with sandbags - and they got me a WW2 padre uniform Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hils78 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Revnev please please please can you come & do my wedding on the 1st August?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Pray tell what do you want him to dress as Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedusA Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I've made my wishes very clear to OH and DD. I would like a "green" funeral with an oak tree planted on me, so I will be part of a forest in the future. I'm not at all religious so there wouldn't be a service, just a celebration of nature, with Cat Stevens' version of "Morning has broken" (showing my age). I don't think it's morbid to make your wishes clear. I think it's eminently sensible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tessa the Duchess Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I don't think it's morbid to make your wishes clear. I think it's eminently sensible. I do too. However, I don't think that we can expect to control from the grave so to speak. As someone said, funerals are for the living, the dead don't care anymore. I have often said that they can flush me down the toilet when I'm dead for all I care, then DH pointed out the diffiiculties of dismemberment so I'll just leave it to whoever is still alive, I think they all know me well enough to know what I would hate in terms of a funeral. Tessa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I've made my wishes very clear to OH and DD. I would like a "green" funeral with an oak tree planted on me, so I will be part of a forest in the future. I'm not at all religious so there wouldn't be a service, just a celebration of nature, with Cat Stevens' version of "Morning has broken" (showing my age). I don't think it's morbid to make your wishes clear. I think it's eminently sensible. Trouble is, Morning has Broken is sung in praise of God's creation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedusA Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Trouble is, Morning has Broken is sung in praise of God's creation I did know that, but I mentally skip that bit. It's more for the blackbird and the dewy grass that I love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 gets me away from the problem of viewing my body I find the whole practice a little disgusting (just MY opinion) so don't want people gawping at me I always want my last memory of someone to be of them alive and not in a coffin I actually never thought I was strong enough to do the above. My dear old nan died a few weeks ago quite suddenly and it was quite shocking to witness, anyway my dad asked if I wanted to see her in the chapel of rest. At first I said "no" but somehow (god knows how), I suddenly piped up one day that I wanted to go and see her. My sister and I went, it was very serene, all we could hear were birds tweeting and there was a lovely natural light shining in the room. It was nice to see her in peace rather than having the final memories of her passing away in our minds. And she had a good send off!.....Abide with me (gotta have that one! ) and lots of lovely happy memories read out at the funeral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I've made my wishes very clear to OH and DD. I would like a "green" funeral with an oak tree planted on me, so I will be part of a forest in the future. I'm not at all religious so there wouldn't be a service, just a celebration of nature, with Cat Stevens' version of "Morning has broken" (showing my age). I don't think it's morbid to make your wishes clear. I think it's eminently sensible. I've said the same thing! A green burial at a local burial ground with an oak tree if possible but I want to go underground to Gracie Fields singing "Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye" . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I went to a funeral where the last song played was "I did it my way" it was cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooks Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 I went to a catholic funeral a few weeks back (my SIL's mum) and I am not Catholic and was amazed at how long the service was. I have to admit to having a numb bottom afterwards. plus at the commital it was blowing a g force gale, which it wasn't doing earlier in the day. My brother read at the end (it was his wifes mum) and I cried my heart out, he read about her life from a child when she was in Italy, to coming here etc and all the personal things that entailed. He totally put into words who this lady was. I will miss her dearly and will never ever forget her for one day, I think about her every time I smell roses or pasta and garlic, basil etc etc.. such a wonderfull lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 One of my close friends died 3 years ago, and the last song was I Believe by Savage Garden, it summed her up completely, and heart broken as I was I wanted to stand on my pew and sing at the top of my voice I think she would have laughed at me! Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Karen you should have done it, she would have loved you for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Karen you should have done it, she would have loved you for it! I think she would, but the whole church full may have thought I had lost the plot Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
