4m x 3m Omlet pen, cube, new auto door still boxed and coop light

[Tiggy]

I know this is an open forum so I must be careful what I say, a family member has a mental illness & is usually a lovely honest sensible person who would never hurt anyone, as long as she takes her medication. This last week or so I have been having some very bizarre conversations with her, I went to see her last night to take her with me for a meal, she was very aggressive I thought she may hit me, accussed me of trying to take her son away when he was a baby- he's 27 now, she accused me of undermining her all her life ordered me out of her house, no actually physically pushed me out of the door, shouting that other members of the family were on the way to give me a good kicking. I should have been frightened or upset but I just sat in my car outside her house for 20 mins or so unable to move. Other members of my family are a bit strange (I know mad perople always thing it is everyone else ) and do not react in the way that you would expect, I am on my own with this one-

[Egluntyne]

Sounds as if she needs urgent help.

 

Has a doctor seen her?

 

Horrible for you to be on the receiving end, but as she is ill, she won't have known what she was saying.

 

One of those cyber hug thingys on it way.

[jlo]

Also sending hugs. My best friend's father has been in a psychiatric hospital for some years now and is getting increasingly aggressive. It is very upsetting and I am thinking of you. I assume that there is a CPN that you can contact if you think she is in need of urgent assistance. Otherwise, not sure what to suggest - sorry!

[Redwing]

I am so sorry. Big hugs x

 

My mother is badly mentally ill and doesnt control her conditions (there are several) and she has irrational phases like you are describing, its very hard as when the recipient is rational (like you are) it all seems very personal and a sudden change of behaviour can come as a shock. Remember that it isn't personal and let the shock go or you will end up beating yourself up about it.

 

You are obviously a good family member and hopefully she will let you talk to her about this to see if you can help.

 

Most importantly try not to avoid her even if you are worried it will happen again, she isn't to blame for her behaviour and if she realises what she has done she may be too embarrased to say something and thats how these people end up isolated sometimes.

 

Big hugs and be strong for your family member, I really feel for you x

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Poor you Tiggy . That must have been really hard to deal with . Others have given good sound advice which I can't really add to . I hope she is back to her normal self when you next see her.

 

 

[Omletina Kyckling]

Oh Tiggy, I'm sorry to hear about this. Others have given some good advice comments here and I can't really add to it, but I can send you lots of virtual hugs down the 'phone line.

 

Is there anybody else who can find out if she's been taking her medication and if not encourage her to?

[Paola]

So sorry to hear about this Tiggy ((((((hug))))))

 

My mother has suffered from mental illness for years. She would stop taking her meds without doctors help or advice and I would bear the brunt of it. It got very desperate when I met my now husband and have not seen her now for 8 years. My choice not hers. Its a real tough one because you cannot make them take meds and I found that when I got leaflets etc from our local Mind charity they were thrown in the bin because she did not have any problems, it was everybody else

 

As Omletina said, is there anybody else that can help also? Please do not take it personally xx

[ubereglu]

I feel really sorry for you. It must be horrible for you to see someone you love change so dramatically. Have you spoken to anyone else who knew here about this? Maybe have a word with here doctor too.

[Valkyrie]

Hugs to you and another one for your relative.

[Phonix]

aww big ((HUGS)) to you for now and a few more for later ((HUGS))((HUGS)) lol

 

Hope your feeling better and that your family member gets the help she needs.

 

xXx

[craftyhunnypie]

Hi big hugs coming your way. Sometimes people with mental illness are not aware of their actions & would be horrified to realise that they are hurting the people around them by what they say & do. It is terrible & will be hard to cope with, but sometimes you have to ignore & walk away, then come back for them when they are in a better mood. Does that make sense? They DO want you around really & they DO love you to bits, but their illness causes them to be absolute monsters sometimes.

Is this family member female & could she be old enough to be going through 'the change'? As the rest of the family can go through hell when a woman is experiencing 'the change'. She may also feel taken for granted by the rest of her household / family & generally feel life's not worth living. I really feel for you & offer you lots of sympathy. Be strong & do what you feel is right.

Hugs.

 

Emma.x

[Looney]

Hi Tiggy, sending you lots of hugs and please, please, please remember you are not on your own on this - there are plenty of people here that will listen and offer advice or support if you need it. Mental illness is, unfortunately, still quite a taboo subject that people don't always like talking about. It's one of those issues that if we were all more open, people would realise it is far more common than one might think and should be discussed. There is a lot of mental illness in OH's family.

 

There is plenty of good advice already given that I would echo but you must remember to look after yourself on this one as well.

[rusky123]

So Sorry Tiggy, have had to deal with this problem ourselves. Got him sectioned on the mental health act. We had to do it. Sometimes people are better in a safe place where they are looked after. It is not a nice thing to do, I know, but sometimes people really need proffessional help. Call a social services emergency number. They are very caring and will give you good advice. Take care, Hugs,XX Moyna

[dancing cloud]

Lots of ((hugs)) on the way from me and mine.

 

No advice to add, just to say you know where we omleteers are if you need us.

[MedusA]

*Huge hugs* Tiggy.

 

Sorry you had to go through this. Please ignore what she said, it was the illness talking, not her. I hope she has got help and gets back on her meds asap. Is there anyone else who has influence over her within the family, that you can speak to?

[Karen & co.]

Sending lots of hugs because it's so hard dealing with a family membetr with a mental illness

 

She sounds like she does need to be seen either by a CPN or GP who will assess her, I would think today if possible as it will be more difficult over the weekend.

 

It sounds like she has no insight into what her behaviour is like, and for her own sake needs to be seen.

 

Take care of yourself too.

 

Karen x

[Seagazer]

Sending you big hugs as well. I don't have any great suggestions either I'm afraid. Just be careful but try to keep in contact. Do you know who her doctor is?

 

I have an aunt who has mental health problems. Fortunately it never comes out as aggression, she just cuts herself off from us. Once she told my mum that she would never see her again as my aunt was dying of cancer. Mum was distraught. It was a complete lie though. Wierdly, her son who had no contact at all with his mum (she left them) has mental health problems and did the same thing to his sister, said he was dying of cancer. Yet the mum and son hadn't ever spoken to each other. Very strange.

[Tiggy]

thankyou everyone for your advice & support, I did speak to her GP yesterday who was suprised she did not have a CPN he has been very good to her over the years but is a single handed doc on a large council estate and my rel moved away years ago & refused to change her Dr so it must have been difficult for him to keep track of her. I have been supporting her for so many years it is just part of my life (I dont want to sound like a litlte angel because Im not) I love her very much. she is 46 years old & has 1 son,age 27 he has struggled to cope & I think he may have moved out, perhaps this is what has triggered her relapse?

 

I have not been able to speak to her she is not answering my calls or texts an I have been unable to speak to her GP today, I work full time over an hours drive away, it is very worrying

[Tiggy]

my other 2 sisters are being helpful, conflicting ideas though, I have not been able to get any help from her GP at all, so I have tracked down her local mental health team and spoke to a very helpful duty officer, he is going to contact her GP today & add her to thier meeting tomorrow, he says it does not matter that she is out of her GPs area the MHT still cover her, they are going to contact her & do a home visit this week. Over the weekend she has not been sleeping for more than an hour or so, not eating because she thinks her food is poisoned & is going walk about in the middle of the night, she has been to see my other 2 sisters & insists that I am an evil person & she is going to have me & my OH shot. Once she is better she will be so embarrassed I hope that she never finds out that it was me who contacted the MHT, particularly if she ends up in hospital.

[MedusA]

Please don't feel guilty for getting help for your relative, Tiggy. You have done it because you care, and I'm glad that it looks as though the MHT are listening to your concerns.

 

Hope it all works out and she's soon back on an even keel. *hugs*

[baby bears mum]

Huge big hugs to you both.

 

She is lucky she has someone looking out for her and I am sure when she is feeling better, as you say, she will be totally embarrased by all this.

 

I think it is a case of "there but for the grace of God ......." so to speak. I had PND for a couple of years after having my daughter and looking back I was so totally irrational its a wonder OH didn't have me shot! I know its not quite the same thing but on reflection some of the things I said and did just make me cringe:doh:

 

I hope things get better. Please don't take it personally (I'm sure you don't) and don't feel guilty for helping. You are obviously a very lovely person.

 

Take care and big hugs.

[Mrs Webmuppet]

Well done for contacting the MHT. My OH has suffered from mental health problems for a long time and it is awful at times trying to cope with it.

 

My Gran also went 'wibble' a few years ago and that was pretty harrowing too. She still has bad days where she will shout and scream at you. My Dad gets quite upset about it and still feels guilty that she had to be put into care. I had a real job convincing him that it was for the best.

 

Sometimes you have to be 'cruel' to be kind.

[Tiggy]

my relatives son has now agreed that his Mom needs psychy help, he has been blocking the drs seeing her, apparently she made him promise that he would not allow them to admit her. If she is still unwell tomorrow then he is going to ring the emergency number, She will be unwell I know he thinks he was doing the right thing but she has deteriorated so badly it will take a while for her to recover, I cannot go anywhere near her because she is threatening to stab me

 

Other members of the family are concerned but do not want to intervene incase she turns on them too, I can see why they are so worried, I'm still limping & very stiff & sore, it is so horrible to have a loved once turn on you like this. I know she is not well but it makes me wonder where these dreadful ideas about me have come from. She has had problems all her life & I have always been there for her it really does not make any sense

[Paola]

Oh Tiggy (((hug))) it is not you at all but her illness. Do not be hard on yourself. I am sure once she is back to herself that if she remembers what she has said and done, she will be mortified. Try and keep your chin up

[Seagazer]

Tiggy - when people have problems, they often turn on the people they love most. Please don't think its your fault.