Single hen

[MadMitch]

So on the 20th October we will be going on our yearly pilgrimage to visit our friends George and Andrianna in Zakynthos. We always go the same time as its OH birthday on the 23rd and mine on the 28th plus its the last week of their holiday season which means we get to see them more as they are not too busy with loads of holidaymakers.

But although I love it when I'm there I find the whole experience of getting there and back quite horrific. I have a terrible fear of flying which just gets worse every year, not made any better by the fact that my background is engineering so I am quite aware of the effort involved in getting an aeroplane off the ground and keeping it in the air.

I am so bad I have a list of plane models and airlines with crash ratios and will only fly on certain types of planes and with certain airline companies.

I try to convince myself that pilots don't want to crash either and will do all they can to prevent it, then something happens like the Spanair crash which was most likely pilot error and blows my theory out the window. Surely you would think that there would be some warning for something which relies totally on human intervention which says no your flaps aren't in the correct position, after all if I go to delete something on my PC it asks me if I'm sure I want to do it.

I'd like to never have to fly again but I don't want to let it control my life, plus the ski season is upon us and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't go skiing.

Anyone got any tips......that don't involve huge amounts of alcohol as I never drink when I fly, only tomatoe juice and water........otherwise it reacts to much with the valium I have to take.

[Cinnamon]

Hi

 

While I don't fear flying,I do get horribly stressed in the airport,on the plane & so forth.

I am prescribed Diazapam, which I have never actually taken but sits in my handbag, which is a great comfort.

I generally have a stiff G&T on the plane,even if we do fly at 6am,like this years trip to Portugal

 

I found this site a huge help to me this time around.It has a gooood forum & there are a lot of likeminded people on there giving their tips & advice.

 

http://www.takingflight.us/

 

I am also a huge advocate of Bach Rescue remedy,which I find really helpful, & I always wear my lucky wishbone necklace when I fly

Sounds silly I know,but if you have ever had a good flight & were wearing a particular piece of jewellery or pair of knickers,then maybe you can use them as a sort of talisman too?

 

Lucky you - Zakynthos is totally gorgeous & one of my most favourite place in the world

[Egluntyne]

Hypnotherapy might help.

[Angels4]

I am a white knuckle flyer as well and this is unfortunate as I travel quite a bit for work. I've logged close to 150 thousand miles this year alone. The first thing I do when I get my schedule is to mapquest to see how long it will take me to drive. Usually if it is no longer than an eight hour drive I will rent a car. I have though (when living in Chicago) driven to Maine for work (took over 16 hours)

Sometimes driving is not an option. Like when I travel to Europe or it just isn't convienant to drive and I am forced to bite the bullet. I have to take Xanax. ALOT of Xanax.

[Mrs Frugal]

I can't bear flying either. Even the thought of it makes me feel sick . I used Bach's Rescue Remedy spray when we flew to Barcelona last year and it helped - but I still burst into tears on take off and wouldn't take my seat belt off all the way through the flight.

[Christian]

but I still burst into tears on take off and wouldn't take my seat belt off all the way through the flight.

 

Sounds like me Kate! Unfortunately, I have to take my seatbelt off

 

The best advice, I can give is to tell the crew that you are nervous. Or mention it as checkin. The checkin agent should put a comment by your name to alert the crew. Speak to them about it and tell them what really sets you off. Most people hate the aircraft turning, as they feel that it will tip over. I usually give them a small bottle of water, half filled, so that they can see the angle of the turn. It feels worst than it is.

 

Another tip is to watch the crews' faces if you hear a strange noise/feel something is up. We know when something is not right. You can see it on their faces! If they are smiling (rare when I am on board ) then all is ok!

 

I know that BA used to offer fear of flying courses, so maybe that is worth a look into? Many people used hypnotherapy, which works well.

 

All the best

 

C x x

[Scramble]

Just wanted to say try not to worry...

I really don't know what to say as I love flying, the views are great to me, and I like it when the aircraft turns.

Am I just wierd?

 

Good Luck

x

[Helen&Lee]

My brother in law is terrified and won't fly - but he has been on a fear of flying course recently, he said it was really good and definately helped.

[Tessa the Duchess]

I too am terrified of flying My problem is not that the machine will tumble out of the sky, but because I am stupidly claustrophobic I can't stand to be in situations that I cannot leave if I want to. I went on a 'fear of flying' course which was run from City Airport the course ended with a 15 minute flight over London in a tiny Dash 7 I survived but it didn't change my fears. Then about 6 years ago something happened in my life which meant I had to fly to Canada and back fairly frequently. I was terrified every time, I mean REALLY terrified I did it 14 times in all, and although it never got any easier, it did become more manageable over time. I found the best thing was having a nice chatty person sitting next to me helped and also reading a good book took my mind off the horrible experience. I do sympathise hugely, and I hope you really enjoy your holiday.

 

Tessa

[Blackrocksrock]

I grew up being sick on every available transport imaginable except the train facing the right way! - I then was terrified as my daughter went over to Dublin to live and to realistically get to see them I have to fly as its so much quicker and I have just come back to-day after leaving on Thursday and going to see Evita on Friday. I now find its great except when the plane turns and when it noses down for landing and I have to keep my self focused at those times on the cabin inside which is not moving or I feel squeamish. After being over twice a year and going on to Brussels last year I love it as its so quick.

I think you need to do small trips to get over it and enjoy it. I love watching the tiny world out of the window and I must have a window seat. It is just like being on a bus now and think its great. I hope you can get over your fears.

[kitbag]

Can I recommend a new form of therapy called TFT? It is short for thought field therapy. Basically It involves tapping in certain places on your head, face, neck, shoulders etc... It can be done at any time, (including the flight) and is really effective. My auntie does it, and I have tried it out before. I tried it out because I was anxious about going to school because of various reasons and it totally helped.

It really does work, but like I said, it is fairly new so you may not have heard of it.

 

PM me if you want to know more!!

 

Kitbag xxxx

[BeckyBoo]

It's giving me the shivers just reading this thread. I'm not terrified but I don't like it at all. I have to have things to take my mind off it, reading, word puzzles, (three whingeing children works too ) the bit I hate most is turbulence, it just doesn't make sense that air can be bumpy, well not to me anyway. Nor that if I were to drop my hand luggage it would fall to the ground, but put a pressurized steel canister in air at 200 mph filled with several tonnes of luggage, people, curled-at the-edges sandwiches and those small headphone sets that some airlines charge you for and it's expected to fly several thousand miles before it once again makes contact with terra firma. Nope. Don't get it.

 

Mrs B

[Seagazer]

I went on holiday this year the day after the airplane accident (was it Madrid?). Whilst I was in Turkey all I kept reading about was problems with planes. I too hate flying, started with my first flight at the age of 18 and is still as bad (although weirdly not so bad if my children aren't with me - think its a mother protection thing).

 

On my worst flight which was to Florida I actually look so ill (hubby kindly took a photo). The stewardess was informed and was lovely and took great care of me. I, as we were taking off, turned to my husband (I was sitting next to ES, who was holding my hand for me ) and told him that I hated him and would never forgive him! The relief when we landed was immense. The stewardess said to me that I looked so much better when I was getting off.

 

I've had diazopan (and actually taken it ), tried drinking - though not to excess, hypnotherapy, bach rescue remedy.

 

What seems to work for me is to imagine that I am actually just on a train. I hate heights, turbulence and I feel claustrophobic. If I imagine its a train I just think I'm going over a bumpy bit of track. I also have to concentrate on a book or a film.

 

The thing is I love to go abroad so will carry on flying.

[MadMitch]

Thanks for all your help. It's good to know I'm not the only one who doesn't like it.

I haven't bothered with the fear of flying courses because I thought that they were more for people who won't even get on an airplane. I am considereing hypnotherapy and will certainly try all your suggestions.

I have flown every year sometimes several times a year for the last 25 years but I have never managed to get over the fear and start to panic weeks before any flight I have to take. (Strangely my nephew who is only 9 is exactly the same which I think is a bit strange for child to have that fear. He even asked this year if he could stay at home with his grandma instead of going on holiday as he didn't want to get on the plane).

Last year was a bad one, we got struck by lightening just as we landed and because the weather was so bad they would not off load us from the plane. We had fire engines around the plane and Yes Christian you are correct about the crews faces. They were running up and down the plane saying I can smell burning, can you smell burning. not what you want to here when you're told not to move out of your seats as you can't get off the plane. At least I wasn't the only one who looked scared on that flight.

I did fly on Concorde once which I can honestly say I enjoyed and for some reason didn't feel that panic I get any other time. I have also invested in some noise cancelling headphones which are a great help with the engine noise.

I think i'll just have to except that I'm never going to enjoy it.

[keyhole kate]

I love the whole experience of flying so I am no help

I have seen Paul Mc Kenna treat people with great sucess

though. Also if it is any comfort my DS is an Aircraft Technician and assures me

that every single aircraft is meticulously checked and re check at least 3 times by

different engineers so you really are safer flying than in a car.

 

Sorry I have no magic cure or words of wisdom but I would say explore any avenue in

conquering what must be a torturous experience for you rather than let the fear

fester and grow and rule your life.

My sister did not come home for our mum's funeral earlier in the yearfor this

very reason and this has caused a terrible rift in our family

 

Kitty

[BarbaraJ]

Last year was a bad one, we got struck by lightening just as we landed and because the weather was so bad they would not off load us from the plane. We had fire engines around the plane and Yes Christian you are correct about the crews faces. They were running up and down the plane saying I can smell burning, can you smell burning. not what you want to here when you're told not to move out of your seats as you can't get off the plane. .

I'm not surprised you were scared, i don't like flying but don't have a problem being in the plane if you know what i mean. i hate the constant buzzing noise and can't sleep which was a pain on florida trip so i just find it sooo boring. Have trouble reading too

[chickenanne]

I am an almost-recovered fear-of flying person! I still get nervous taking off, but no longer end up in tears... more manageable nerves than stark terror of the past. No real idea what changed, I found that it feeling so unnatural and having no idea of how it could possibly work was a problem. Apparantly slight claustrophobia and lack of control are also a factor for a lot of people.

Also, the more I told myself I was scared of flying, the worse it got; i think I was just reinforcing each fear every time I thought about it.

I think if you can figure out why you get so scared then it makes it much easier to calm yourself down a bit. The more you can analyse it the easier to get rid of the fears it is.

 

Other stuff that worked for me:

Try to eat big, carbohydrate-laden food before you fly, even without a glass of wine it does take the edge off. You'll not feel like eating (churning stomach etc) but if you try and force yourself to eat as much as possible that will help.

Remember that whilst planes do crash, it is incredibly rare. crashes with no survirors are incredibly unusual - think how many flights there are. And that includes airlines which loads of people really wouldn't want to use, e.g. domestic flights in developing countries.

Most people who are scared of flying tend to have good imaginations. Statistically, higher IQ levels, too. And that means we're very very good at imagining what could go wrong and what it would be like. Try anything to divert yourself from this, apparantly magazines etc are good because they have both print and bright colours.

Focus on the holiday, and not the getting-there part as much as you can.

Promise yourself something nice after the flight.

 

I have to fly overseas a fair bit for work, and honestly, I really did used to be terrified and now I genuinely really only get a few flutters, so it is possible to get to grips with it. I don't use any kind of tranquiliser (other than pre-flight fish-and-chips!).

[rachel19]

I hate flying too and have had a few bad flights - normally just as my fear is beginning to fade something happens to bring it right back again! I haven't found anything that makes it better. It's mainly takeoff that terrifies me - once we're up i'm generally ok and turbulence doesn't bother me if its cloudy or there are mountains or something as then it makes sense. What I do hate is when you have some quite bad turbulence and the captain comes on saying put your seatbelts on as its going to get more bumpy and then its as smooth as anything! I swear they do it deliberately!

[bellekatz]

OOH I love this thread!! I loathe flying too which is why we go to France on the ferry every year now. I have had OK flights and bad flights - am better long haul ( bigger planes with bigger wings and more engines so less like to fall out of the sky ) and have done a round the world trip with the help of Valium! I did pluck up the courage to fly to Rome 5 yerars ago - had a wonderfully smooth flight there on a beautiful sunny day and thought - hey this isnt bad! Unfortunately on the way back over the alps we hit clear air turbulence, dropped 100 ft and I hyperventilated the rest of the way. I have often thought about Hypnotherapy as a treatment but am unsure if it really works. ( I know all the facts etc about how safe it is but it doesnt help me if the plane hits any turbulence whatsoever) so I can sympathise with all the non flyers on here and am waiting for the kids to leave home so me and OH can go on a luxury cruise!!!

[chickenanne]

But isn't it astounding that planes are so robust and safe that they can be hit by lightening, or undergo really severe turbulance (with several hundred feet drops), and several other scary sounding things, and yet, not crash, not burst into flames, not kill anyone on board?

 

Yep, it can be terrifying at the time, but think about the truely shocking things that planes can, and do withstand.

[bellekatz]

Thats right, and I do know all that, but something much more basic takes over and it just goes straight out of my head

[rachel19]

And never ever make the mistake i did and watch air crash investigations - makes it 10 times worse lol

[Seagazer]

I tried hypnotherapy. My MIL's friend is trained in it (and she's brilliant at reflexology too). I was very easy to put 'under'. But then my MIL was chatting to me one day quite soon afterwards about it and said oh of course you do know that S doesn't like flying?!! Sort of ruined it for me

[chickenanne]

I know, I used to be the exact same, panic sets in and there's no reasoning to be had. It's really difficult to stop the panic from taking hold in the first place.

But I think every time something happens or you hear something which gives you the idea that flying is something to fear, the worse that fear gets. If you can try to turn the scary stuff into something which actually is a positive, then you might not "cure" yourself of being scared of flying, but you'll probably succeed in making sure you don't get worse.

 

Seagazer, that's terrible thing to find out! I can imagine it really didn't help!

[Chooks Aloud]

I hate flying. On our first trip to the USA ended up with me being taken off the plane in an ambulance. When we were boarding I started panicking, going hot, sweating, dizzy (thought I was going to faint) had a blinding head ache. On take off I started being sick and was continually sick for the whole 11 hours. Couldn’t even keep water down and consequently was totally dehydrated on arrival. Because of this I could not stand and could not even hold my head up, kept going in and out of consciousness. My kids were crying worried about their mum.

 

They got me a wheelchair and wheeled me straight through customs, just waved me through (probably glad to get rid of me). Next thing I new 2 hunky guys were running through the airport – soon had me wired up to some machine and whisked me off to hospital. Hubby and kids were left at airport wondering where I had been taken to. Airport staff were great and drove leading the way for my hubby to the hospital. They did so many tests it was unbelievable. I just kept thinking ‘thank God I’m insured.’ This was all down to a migraine and fear of flying.

 

However, on the way back, due to what had previously happened, the airport refused me permission to fly. Said hubby and kids could board but I couldn’t. Hubby explained that it was only motion sickness and the fear of flying that caused it, but they said without a doctor’s note I could not board. The hospital had given me some drugs to get me on the flight home and I was pretty groggy. After much persuading they eventually let me on.

 

We were sat on the run way waiting to go, an almighty storm had blown up and we took a direct hit by lightening. The whole inside of the plane just went white. By this time I was so drugged up I was almost comatose but the stewardess (who must have been new) started shouting ‘Oh my God we’ve been hit by lightening’. She really had quite a calming influence on everyone!! Thinking that everyone would be evacuated I started to get up but the plane just took off. There was a really loud noise from somewhere, which was very worrying and then all of a sudden the exit sign came down and hit the stewardess on the head. Which promptly stopped her shouting about the lightening.

 

Had this been a comedy show it would have been really funny. Funnily enough none of our friends ever go on holiday with us – I wonder why.

 

Karen