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bluekarin

An awful morning - an awful mother

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I have just had an awful 'getting the kids ready and off to school' morning. Started with YD (you may have read a bit about her in another post about 9yr old's) not doing her teeth. We only have one bathroom so she has to have her teeth brushed at 8am so its free for ED and myself to get ourselves ready. So its 8.15, she's walking around in a blanket as its cold (she does have a dressing gown) waiting for me to iron her school top and hadn't done her teeth! So I shout get upstairs and do your teeth. And then she doesn't have a jumper. All the while, I am trying to dry my hair, dry ED socks with a hair-dryer, find my clothes . . . . and then my ED is crying and says she can't put her hair up. She has been walking around with a hairbrush for about 10 minutes half heartedly brushing and not even attempting to try. So I am ashamed to say I lost my rag. I shouted at her you are 11 years old! You should be able to put your hair up! And roughly brush it, put it up and tell her to get to school.

So she went to school really upset and worried she was going to be late, I am upset as not have calmed down I can see I overreacted. Generally a rubbish morning. I have sent her a text to say I am sorry, not heard back yet, but she doesn't always have her phone on.

 

Just wanted to get that off my chest. :cry:

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Hope getting it off your chest has made you feel a bit better.

 

Now sit down, have a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate and a biscuit. Then have a little think about how you can make mornings better. I suggest a rota for the bathroom, a set 10-minute time slot when you are available to help with hair and - most importantly - everyone needs to make sure they have everything ready for the morning before they go to bed. That does not mean you have to make sure - THEY have to make sure, and let you know if they need help with anything.

 

They will probably have forgotten about it when they get home but ask them to sit down with you (get some nice cakes or something), explain that you you found this morning really stressful and ask them to help you to work out how to make things better. Hopefully they will like being asked to take some responsibility.

 

I had a horrible morning yesterday so I know how you feel. And we have an only child so you'd think it would be easy for us in the mornings...

 

As Egluntine says its just normal family life so don't let it get you down too much.

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Thank you all for your advice. Thing is we already do have a rota in place. But because YD has more important things to do, like play with toys or find which toy to take to school :roll: it goes to pot. I will sort something out. Sometimes I can cope and it brushes off my back and sometimes it gets to me. Just need to up the evening primrose capsules.

 

Oh and Jacob is brilliant. He is dressed before breakfast (however does mean he doesn't have a wash, but can't have everything!) does his own hair if pushed. He just plays in his room or waits the living room until it is time to go.

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My Goodness - have you a camera into my house? And I thought I was the only one with children who have an aversion to co-operating of a morning........ :wink: (I know full well I'm not alone, because I hear my neighbour climbing the wall on the days I'm not bellowing!!!)

 

Joking aside, we have all been there - and no doubt will go there again!

 

My epitaph will be:

"Get dressed, have breakfast, brush teeth & get ready for school - how many times have we done this........... :wall: "

 

Apparently, DS who is at boarding school is one of the most organised in his dorm - maybe my ranting has actually gone in and he is reaping the benefits now, this is small comfort for the number of mornings I lost the plot & saw red :oops: ! (our mornings are so much calmer when he's at school, one of the benefits of him being there. Also no 2-3 hour bus journeys to & from school & homework done with the minimum of fuss as the teachers are there to help if he's stuck... just some of the "pros" for the school choice)

 

Have a cuppa & a biscuit & go & watch your chooks, I use mine as mobile stress relievers when necessary - especially good if they are running after something!! -, ranks right up there with doggie cuddles as a soother.

 

Take heart, you are not alone!!

 

Sha x

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You're not alone! It was always the shoes with mine though. If Ys was last one ready there'd be a shoe panic, but if I made sure he was "done" & checked the others, he'd have taken them off again......

Now they're all older but there's still the "who's in the bathroom" bit. Oh, and it's still the shoes too...

Every sympathy. I think that's why we have day & night, at least we'll all get it right tomorrow.... :)

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Don't worry,we've all been there!

EVERY morning without fail I think to myself "I really should get things ready the night before" and every evening all I want to do is fall asleep by 8pm (blame the fresh air and chickens :wink: )

I had a major blow out with my 2 yesterday morning over a lost trainer and a lost recorder,we were leaving the house at the time they should have been in school 5 miles away :shock:

Thankfully we are never last in school, there is always some poor soul having a worse morning :D

Go easy on yourself,we're all doing a great job!

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Hon, this is every morning in our house, and we leave at 7.40 or we miss the bus, and I have to get to work. was it Victoria Wood who said parents lose their sanity at 8.30 in the morning.....

there are very few households in the land where a screaming match doesnt take place between 7 and 8.40, trust me!!

we wont lead onto the subject of "lost" school uniform....... :evil:

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I have many mornings when I loose my rag even when I know I shouldn't I have two boys 1 and a half and 3 and a half and look after my friends two the same age 3 mornings a week. Trying to get 4 boys ready and out of the door to walk the older two up to nursery school is making me go grey!!! And to top it off I've got a husband who works shifts so is often at home to get in the way! :P He thinks he's helping, but he's not!!!!!

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Don't worry, we have all ben there.

My eldest girl is not a morning person, & is sometimes a nightmare to deal with.I actually have to wake her at 6.30am as she needs half an hour in bed just coming to before feet hit the floor :roll:

 

I have sent them off upset & miserable before now.....its just life I am afraid.

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Meanwhile, you've been beating yourself up all day worrying and feeling guilty, thinking it's affected her day at school when really she will have forgotten all about it as soon as she saw her friends !! Don't fret - you'll get a massive hug from her as soon as she sees you. :wink:

 

OMG, do I have a CCTV here? *looks around* Yup, I have. Still a bit teary now. But I shall be okay. But we'll be okay. Hopefully she will be talking to me as I am taking her swimming tonight.

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=o6P2w5GkXmU

 

you're not alone

 

((((hugs))))

 

That is really good Trish. It's amazing how this scenario is played out umpteen times everyday world over. All part of growing up I guess, on both sides.

 

 

Yes, and don't get me started on the lost shoes . . . .

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Don't worry too much about it ((hugs)), families can certainly push you to the brink. I'm with Savonista on this one.

 

I'm usually OK until that time of the month and then I'm :evil: . I've even been known to yell at Tubby Puddy before now :shock: , usually because it's freezing outside and I'm runing late, and she wants to stand in the open doorway deliberating on life while all the expensive warmth escapes into the garden.

 

Last time I shouted "Just move will you!", she "moved" to the bench just outside the door and sat looking through the kitchen window wth the sad reproachful face only a cat can manage. When I opened the door again to let her back in, she still sat on the bench, looking very pointedly in the other direction :lol: .

 

All was forgiven and forgotten when it was feeding time, and I'm sure your children wil be the same tonight :D

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You are all so patient! I dont have any wee ones (and very happy about it), so I'm the only one that has to wake myself at 04.30am, be ready and on the M3 by 05.45am, hopefully with both shoes on! No recorder or homework *sighs in ecstacy* to remember but I admire the way you all seem to manage your families without a nervous breakdown.

 

Stop feeling so guilty, :notalk: you all do a great job and need medals for it. :clap:

 

 

Kimmy

x

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So she went to school really upset and worried she was going to be late, I am upset as not have calmed down I can see I overreacted. Generally a rubbish morning. I have sent her a text to say I am sorry, not heard back yet, but she doesn't always have her phone on.

 

 

LOL - I have to laugh at this. The other day a kid in my tutor group (year 9) had a detention for being rude to a member of staff. It's not like her to be in trouble for something like that as she is a nice polite girl so I asked her what happend. She explained she had been having a rotten morning - everyone had been tetchy at home and her Mum had shouted at her, she'd arrived late for school, got told off by me (oh I rememberd that!), then she'd gone to lesson 1 and in her haste she had forgotton to put her phone on silent - her phone went off with a text - her Mum apologising - her teacher told her off and asked for the phone and she'd been really annoyed at this "last straw" and said "you can't take my phone" (it drives us NUTS when they say that!!) ended up arguing with the teacher, phone still confiscated AND an after school detention for being rude.

 

Said she went home that night and gave her Mum a right telling off for sending her texts when she knew she was in lessons!!!

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Thank you all so much for your advice, help and hugs! It has been very much appreciated. All is well in the household. ED and I had huge hugs when she came home from school. She said she didn't get my text as her phone was out of charge!!! But I have spoken to all three of them and they have said they will make sure things are ready the night before, and will let me know if there is anything they need for the next day. ED will be getting to the bathroom earlier so she is ready earlier and then I can help her with her hair.

Thank you again,

Karin x

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Dont beat yourself up I have been there 4 times over :!: It would be forgotten as soon as they got to school all part of life's rich tapestry of being a parent. I have the same senario every morning with my 16 year old :!: Opps sorry I was supposed to make you think it was a temprary phase :shock::lol::lol:

 

Chin up sweetie they soon move on to other ways to drive us mad :)

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These posts really take me back, my babies are grown up now (24 & 22) and I would do anything to have my time with them over again, even the bad mornings! as it all went by far too quickly. :(

 

Mine are 36 and 34.....and I miss it too :(

.....but I did hear similar at my daughter's last night......and Lauren has managed to lose her coat :roll: - it's an adult size 8 for goodness sake!.....how on earth do you lose a coat in this cold weather??? We picked her up from school...........without her coat......she just shrugged........she lost it 'yesterday'.........

 

.....so then we had the "I hope Mummy has stopped your pocket money until you find it?" conversation :roll:

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