Omletina Kyckling Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 I've just filled in the Census online and it's brought back bad memories yet again.... It was the question about where you were living a year ago, if different from where you are now. I had to put in the old address and it brought it all back to me again. I've been struggling these past few months with my emotions anyway, still feeling a bit lost, and to be honest, rather lonely! I keep thinking, is this it? My days are pretty monotonous, being on my own. My ex still contacts me from time to time, and I've been tempted at times to step back and try again, even though I know in my head it would be the stupidest thing to do. Just feeling a bit empty and finding things a bit tough. I have jobs to do around the place and I can't lift myself to do them. Also my Landy has rather a lot of issues at the moment (probably expensive ones at that!) and I have to get them looked at this week, otherwise I think he'll fail his MOT . These are all things my ex used to do and I didn't have to worry about them. Sorry to moan, especially on a weekend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacake Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 don't worry about moaning, it's better to get things off your chest than it is to bottle them up. hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Me too, having to put separated awaiting divorce instead of married Diane think of all the things you disliked about him and all the things you couldn't do if you had him back, that soon changes my mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beach chick Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 I would say you're doing great, and just hang on in there... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffyfeet Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Well I for one think you're fabulous - and I bet I'm not alone in thinking that! Sending humungous hugs. Dawn x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Diane - I am full of admiration on how you have started over You are bound to have your tough days and lonely days, but just look at what you have achieved Sending supportive hugs xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 You have come such a long way, Omletina. Don't waver! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaireG Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Big ((hugs)) you are bound to have lows. You have achieved so much in a short time, stay strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Speckled Hen Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 Oh Omletina, don't be sad. You have done wonders so look forward not back Me too, having to put separated awaiting divorce instead of married WHAT? .......Is that anybody's business? How horrid to expect you to elaborate. I must admit that there were a couple of questions that I refused to answer but the online form wouldn't let me skip them so I just entered x. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j00lz_12366 Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 woops..census, what census????? On a more serious note, I'm sorry to hear you were feeling a bit low. Maybe if you try to look at things from a different angle it might help-its what I try to do. When I fill the census in I will be a bit sad as things have changed and I am also 'separated awaiting divorce' and I am aware that I will now be on a different address to my son and daughter. But, this year, I am not with someone who I was unhappy with, I am not being belittled and put down at regular intervals. I have a new job and home-last year I was in a rented house that was never really 'home', now I have a home, 2 'special' cats and some chickens on the way. You have your lovely home, in a fantastic location, some days might be monotonous, but were they less so when you were with your ex? Everyone has days when stuff feels rubbish, I hope this is just a short term low take care Juliet, x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Been there, been there! It's natural Omletina, just part of the healing process. I had to tick the "separated" box as well and over the last two years I've been tempted too, after all, you married them for a reason and once you're not living with them you're not arguing with them anymore and so you don't get to see on a daily basis the reasons why you left them. But you did leave, and you know why you did and those reasons probably haven't changed. Don't beat yourself up for wanting to go back; being on your own is hard. The days can be relentless, there's no one to share the load with and "down" days are to be expected. But they are just that, down days. You're stronger than you think you are. It would be lovely to have someone to take care of all those boring, tedious, time consuming things like cars, and taking the bins out, but you can do it, and you'll feel pleased with yourself when you do. And no, this is not "it, THIS IS IT!!! this is life, the new, scary, difficult, but ultimately satisfying life, the one that you deserve, where you can look after yourself and be kind to yourself, and write stuff on here and know there are people you haven't even met who are interested and will give you a virtual hug and cup of tea and tell you it's going to be alright. Because it is. It really is! BeckyBoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Big hugs for you girls and without sounding Coronation Streetish - "sisters are doin it for themselves" - the past is over - and good times are on the way. You've got your freedom , self esteem and lots of us on here rooting for you. Its just another silly form to fill out, so treat it as that. Love Ali Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newcountrygirl Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Hang on in there - you will come out the other side stronger and happier (I speak from experience).x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donald Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 HI This does actually remind me of being asked for your mothers maiden name when ie doing security checks etc etc,especially when they are dead relatives. What a nice reminder. I have got over the upsetting tragic events surrounding her death many years ago(she was quite young, front page of the newspaper stuff and a real big shock to our family) but it never ceases to amaze me that sometimes I dont think anyone ever thinks of personal circumstances when filling out forms and having to give personal information etc. Call centres often ask for this kind of information. I sometimes feel like saying "oh you mean my dead mothers maiden name". It will get a lot easier but sometimes it just catches you off guard especially when you are trying to move on. Most definitely good to let it out, a problem shared is a problem halved as they say, dont be too hard on yourself. Enjoy the rest of the weekend Donald Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Hang on in there - you will come out the other side stronger and happier (I speak from experience).x Ditto You've come a long way Omletina - and it's rarely wise to go backwards. The Census is done now - and tomorrow's another day, you will get there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 Hang on in there - you will come out the other side stronger and happier (I speak from experience).x Ditto You've come a long way Omletina - and it's rarely wise to go backwards. The Census is done now - and tomorrow's another day, you will get there I agree, I love being on my own and self-sufficient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 Hey, I'm married and I'm jealous now! Me wants freedom! Hang in there kiddo - you are much braver than me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JillM Posted March 28, 2011 Share Posted March 28, 2011 Been there, done that......twice! It's always harder in the early days but you do get there. And you will be stronger,and more confident. You'll realise how low someone else brought you, when you deserve so much better than that! And guess what - the pressies you buy for yourself (whether it be Christmas or birthday) will REALLY be 'just what you wanted' And you may even decide, as I have done, that you are better off on your own. That you don't need to be somebody else's 'other half', but a very whole person of your own! Good luck, it really will get better with time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperman Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Hey there Diane, I hope you and all yours are well (including the chucks and the big cat boys) Please, please don't beat yourself up for feeling alone, you're not the shambles you think you are,.... the girl you see in the mirror is actually a very nice person, easy on the eye, and not as stupid as you would think. I know I have met her, and I am a very good judge of character . I have never met the person you miss, but I know as you do, he is not good for you or anybody else, including himself. Forget him,............ no REALLY. Your confidence is low, it will improve. His will not, which is not your problem. It is better to be a full 'yourself', than be a half of a 'nothing'. Sorry if that sounds a bit too much like a fortune cookie, but more appropriate words are not allowed Take care love, Kev. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Been there, done that......twice! It's always harder in the early days but you do get there. And you will be stronger,and more confident. You'll realise how low someone else brought you, when you deserve so much better than that! And guess what - the pressies you buy for yourself (whether it be Christmas or birthday) will REALLY be 'just what you wanted' And you may even decide, as I have done, that you are better off on your own. That you don't need to be somebody else's 'other half', but a very whole person of your own! Good luck, it really will get better with time. I used to get really upset thinking about the lovely presents she was getting instead of me (stupid I know) now I do as JillM suggests - buy myself something really nice that I want Diane - I hope this has made you feel better (and I know the sunshine is helping ) so many people who care about you and wish you well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Been there, been there! It's natural Omletina, just part of the healing process. I had to tick the "separated" box as well and over the last two years I've been tempted too, after all, you married them for a reason and once you're not living with them you're not arguing with them anymore and so you don't get to see on a daily basis the reasons why you left them. But you did leave, and you know why you did and those reasons probably haven't changed. Don't beat yourself up for wanting to go back; being on your own is hard. The days can be relentless, there's no one to share the load with and "down" days are to be expected. But they are just that, down days. You're stronger than you think you are. It would be lovely to have someone to take care of all those boring, tedious, time consuming things like cars, and taking the bins out, but you can do it, and you'll feel pleased with yourself when you do. BeckyBoo That is so true about the boring, tedious jobs- I feel a ridiculous sense of achievement if I mend something myself or sort out a problem on my own Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 lovely words and sentiments Kev Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omletina Kyckling Posted March 29, 2011 Author Share Posted March 29, 2011 Hey there Diane, I hope you and all yours are well (including the chucks and the big cat boys) Please, please don't beat yourself up for feeling alone, you're not the shambles you think you are,.... the girl you see in the mirror is actually a very nice person, easy on the eye, and not as stupid as you would think. I know I have met her, and I am a very good judge of character . I have never met the person you miss, but I know as you do, he is not good for you or anybody else, including himself. Forget him,............ no REALLY. Your confidence is low, it will improve. His will not, which is not your problem. It is better to be a full 'yourself', than be a half of a 'nothing'. Sorry if that sounds a bit too much like a fortune cookie, but more appropriate words are not allowed Take care love, Kev. Kev, those are absolutely lovely words, and mean a huge amount to me. They even brought me to tears. Thank you. I hope you and the wife will be heading south to see me some time? (if you come with her, it'll stop her hitting the shoe shops with such gusto) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 (if you come with her, it'll stop her hitting the shoe shops with such gusto) do you really believe that??? yeah right cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mostin Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Hi babes, I'm sorry I've only just seen this. It's weird because when I filled that question in, I thought of you, and wondered how it would make you feel as you filled it in. I hope the spring cheers you up, and that you know how happy we all are to have the new and improved Diane here with us in Yorkshire. The one who worked out what was wrong with her own boiler! Who put together her own shed! And who can switch on the heating in her home whenever she likes without being told off! Cats are good judges of character and your boys adore you. Us Yorkshire folk think you're not too bad either Huge hugs darling, always here for you xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
