Chortle Chook Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I moved from the centre of High Wycombe to South Oxfordshire about 8 years ago and am having a horrid feeling that my country experiment did not really work. I love my chickens but that apart I've found people often less friendly than they were in the town, more judgemental really, and things like hedges filled with litter or empty cans and roads splatted with dead birds, badgers and foxes seems so sad. Also I'm a little tired of looking out of my window to see nothing but passing motorist. "Ooops, word censored!"ody seems to actually walk anywhere but seem to scoot out of their back gates into their cars and then vanish. It is not really what I thought it would be. Am I alone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavenders_Blue Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I was brought up, and still live, in the country and I have to say I don't particularly find it unfriendly. But this may be something that varies from area to area? I know a lot of people through church and dog-walking, plus I know all my neighbours, so it's not that often that I go out and don't bump into someone I know. I agree that more and more people drive around in cars rather than walk, I think this is partly due to many villages having lost shops, post offices etc, so people hop into their cars to travel into town for shopping. Also more people working out of the area getting in their cars of a morning, out all day, and then crashing out at home all evening - many (not all) villages are losing their 'community feel'. Litter is a problem for sure. I live in the only county without a McDonalds, yet the amount of times I see McDonalds wrappers on the verges and hedges... where does that come from?? And fly tipping too, horrid. Sadly, roadkill is an inevitibility. It's never pleasant to see dead animals along the roadsides but where cars and animals meet........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Warrens Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 we always lived in the rural setting, so as a kid, hanging out in the farmer fields , making dens in the trees ect was the norm lol also used to traveling on a bus for 1.5hr to college each way, so as soon as i could pass my driving test the better which i did before my 18th bday i prefer living out the way, when i go manchester ect, i find it too busy and over whelming, coz im used it going the local town, but when i want to go primark i have to go manchester i supose it depend on your village and the people in it. but as soon as i can afford my own house in the country , i will be buying there, coz i miss it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Move to our village - we are about 10 miles from you,but it sounds like a world away We have walkers galore,a thriving village shop,a lovely pub & while we are not interested or involved in any village community projects,there are plenty around & they are always looking for new people to join. We have a lovely flower show, a ploughing match,a village day & an occasional wheelbarrow race too. Several homes are open to the public to aid the air ambulance twice a year,there are allotments & hens galore! The downside (for me,I am quite private & prefer my own company) is that everyone knows your business & a few villagers are total sticky beaks who want to know everything about everything (when we built our extension many years ago,one chap saw it upon himself to jump in to our foundations & measure them....on our private property mind...to make sure we were within regulations We were - my husband is a builder) Can't say I have noticed any litter here,but there is some in the main towns of Henley & Reading,although that is probably to be expected. The hedges are full of blackberries,not litter, & while the road is faster than it should be (just lost my cat to it), it is something we are dealing with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I am very interested in what you said. I grew up in the country but was desperate to move to London which I did at 18. Now I often feel that I'd like to move back to the countryside. Proper darkness and quiet at night, don't laugh but you don't really hear the wind going through the trees here which I think sounds lovely. I'm a bit scared that I wouldn't like it though. I wonder if I'd miss the sound of the tube trains and I love it when the double deckers go by on a rainy day which I find strangely comforting and its fun having London right there on your doorstep. It's a big decision. I worry that I'd miss the things I like too much, then I worry that I might miss out on countryside things that would compensate. That's bit of a ramble, hope it makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortle Chook Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 I've just come back from visiting my sister in London and I guess that is what has promoted my down in the mouthness as I just loved it there. The caffes and shops were so nice and everyone was so friendly! I was brought up in the country but it was very different then. We could wander about in the fields providing we remembered to shut the gates and walk round the edges of any planted areas and people always seemed to be saying hello. That was going back a few years, though. The other day when I took my rescue greyhounds out (on their pretty coloured leads), a woman looked out of her window and summond the game keeper and police because I was not on the public footpath (I was walking round the edge of a stubble field). Cinnamon - your story about the man who wanted to check that you were not exceeding regulations is exactly my point about people being more judgemental. In a town people mind their own business more. Patsylabrador, I love the sound of the wind in the trees, but I also love the sound of the rain on pavements. I also love the London buses where there is so much to hear and see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Oh Catherine, you sound so sad . Think of all the lovely space that your animals have and the wonderful fresh air! The beautiful, frech, crisp autumn/winter walks waiting for you ! There are freindly/unfreindly, nosy/aloof people everywhere - its just luck who you end up near to, I suppose! Have you/would you consider moving into Wallingford (hardly the big metropolis , I know, but a bit more going on??!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavenders_Blue Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I sympathise with you regarding access to the countryside - or lack of it. Our village has only one measly public footpath where people can walk - as a result everyone in the village takes their dogs there so it is filthy with dog mess. Also the fields that the footpath runs through have horses kept in them so if you have a dog who barks at/chases horses (as I do) then you need to keep them on leads. The farmers in the village have put up 'No Dogs' notices by the entrances to their fields, which I can understand if there are animals grazing or crops growing, but does seem a bit mean when cut down to stubble. However in the next village, only a mile away, the farmer allows access to his land (no footpaths, so no requirement to provide access) when there are no sheep grazing. There are about 5-6 connected fields and a large fishing lake so great for dog walking or just generally taking a stroll. However I do realise this is the exception rather than the norm, but it's great that there are a few friendly farmers around willing to allow the public onto their land. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortle Chook Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Thank you s0apdrag0n and Lavenders-Blue for your understanding. I'm normally a cheerful soul but sometimes it gets to me as it is so not what I hoped for. Yes, s0apdragon I'd love to move into the centre of Wallingford - perhaps one day. I really like to sit in the odd cafe and watch the world go by and our little market town never ceases to cheer me. Lavenders-Blue that is what it is like here. The local park is really very nice and people there are friendly, but it could be in a town. Outside of it, despite the pretty surroundings it is all 'can't do this' and 'can't do that' . The foot path nearest me is, well, ' dog mess alley' and where there is a public foot path down by the river,the farmer keeps a bull which effectively blocks it off. If you try to go round the edge of the field rather than through the centre where his cattle are there are all these little signs warning of rat poison which I suppose is to put off dog walkers I'm not really the sort to join clubs but it is nice when people smile and pass the time of day, rather than just looking out to see if you are doing something wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newcountrygirl Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Hi Cheaky Chook - I know just where you are coming from. I spent all my life in a city in West Yorkshire. 2 years ago - me and hubby decided we wanted to move to the country. We chose Lincolnshire cos the property is cheap and there are good motorbiking roads. However, since moving here I feel so isolated. The road we live on is on the edge of a village - the centre is a mile and a half away. I though I would meet people when out and about with the dog or going into the village pub. Not so. No-one hardly ever walks past our gate except 1 man with a dog. We have been into the pub a few times and although the Landlord is friendly - no-one ever gets chatting - they all seem to have their own clique. We have tried talking to them but apart from a nod or hello they just seem to turn back to their own group and don't invite anyone in. We are both outgoing types and cant understand it. We are so fed up that we have put our grade II listed cottage on the market and taken the plunge and bought another house 37 miles away in another village where we will have more interaction hopefully, as there are more houses on our dog walking route. The only friends we have made are the local biking group and we go to their meetings twice a month but that is 15 miles away from where we are so people dont meet up for drinks - only for a ride out in the summer. I feel as if I am going stir crazy and feel so lonely sometimes. My hubby doesnt feel it as much as me cos he spends a lot of his time in the garage tinkering with his bikes - but that only makes me feel worse. Luckily I am an avid reader but get through so many books it costs me a fortune.Some days I feel like crying but i am determined that when we get moved I will find some like minded souls. The village we are moving to has a W I so I may be able to join that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miffy Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I'm sorry to hear you are unhappy. We moved from a large estate in Bournemouth to a rural area about 4 years ago. We live in a small group of 5 cottages about 1.5miles from the nearest villages, one we can walk to fairly easily along the mineral tramway the other is ok to walk down to but NO WAY would I choose to walk back its a very steep hill!!! We made a point of knocking on doors to say hi. We used local workmen, and asked for their recommendations when we needed other jobs doing...always increasing our group of contacts. Through our neighbours we joined a scrabble club which meets once a month and have learnt a lot about the locality. Through our neighbours OH is now in a band that gigs regularly and so our group of friends and contacts grows. I did a short course at local college and met others folk. I joined slimming club, WI and did voluntary work for NT again meeting lots of new people. TBH we have met lots of folk dog walking but not made any friends as such. Through these contacts I now have a job at the local college, where yet again I am meeting new people and making new friends. I was told by a number of people that the Cornish can be a bit standoffish but that has not been our experience. I should point we only knew 1 family vaguely when we moved here and still only know them vaguely. I hope you can sort things out and be happier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loumabel Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 I moved to a small village in Kent 3 years ago. We bought a derelict grade 2 listed house and lived in a caravan in the garden while we renovated. We had very mixed welcomes from the villagers, some were extremely nice and kind to us and others spent the first two years reporting us to the council and parish council on a weekly basis, taking photos of our building works and one resident even told me I had planted the wrong type of marigolds in my front garden I was told off for walking my dogs in the wrong place and reprimanded for not attending the village church. Having said all of that, I absolutely love living here!! I really like being on my own and not seeing anyone but my husband and animals for days. I really don't worry about others opinions if they are being silly, there are always people like this no matter where you live, I think it is just more diluted when you live in town as you come across a lot more people. I think people who live in villages are often very protective of their environment and this is why they can appear unfriendly, It is best just to try and reassure them and carry on with your life and not take it too personally (easier said than done I know ) They usually settle down when they realise your intentions are good. Living in the country is a much more solitary life and if you are lonely and prefer the hustle and bustle of city life, I would say go for it and move back to town, you can still keep your chooks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonne Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 I know exactly what you mean. My OH and I moved from small Thames Valley towns to rural Somerset about 6 years ago and 2 years ago I finally admitted to myself and him that it hadn't worked for me either. We are in a small village with a mix of locals (3 generations plus !!) in-comers etc and many people are friendly and there is stuff going on - garden club, book club, panto club, skittles... so it could be much worse, however, Somerset is just not for me. Our choice was influenced by cheap house prices, but that means a depressed local economy and very few decent jobs. Also, the whole dog walking thing was massively easier in towns with amenity space rather than farmers who are determined to stop people walking on public footpaths regardless of the law (don't get me started on this one) Unfortunately, we are now amongst the many struggling to move due to the state of the housing market, but hopefully will be back in the Thames Valley in 2012. I think gut instinct is usually right and mine definitely says move back - you are not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redcharlie43 Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 I moved from central Harrow to a small village in Surrey nearly 4 years ago. I love it here. My OH grew up here many years ago so he did know some people but to be honest they now chat to me when I am out gardening in the front garden and I keep him up to date on what is happening in the village. I am not one for clubs etc either but do make an effort to say hello to anyone passing and neighbours and we have made an effort to go to the local residents association which has recently started up in the village so we can get to know more people. Is there a WI near you? Thats worth joining to meet people. I never thought i'd join an online forum but.... When I lived in Harrow for 9 years I only spoke to one set of neighbours as everyone else in the street where renters who changed every 6 months. The litter and noise was much worse there even though now I have a lovely common over the road but the M25 in my back garden. With regard to the dog walkers is it worth speaking to your local council about putting up some special bins. We have them on our common and everyone uses them. I am sure most of the dog walkers don't like poo alley either. Sometimes though it is just the wrong place to live and if it makes you sad whenever you think about it then look for a new adventure and jump in... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortle Chook Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 Many thanks everyone for your support. I think I just have to be sensible like newcountrygilr and yvonne and recognise what ain't me. OH is content here as it seems the men can get chatting about football or whatever no matter what, but after talking it over with him today he realises that I am just not happy here. Like you, newcountrygirl 'I feel as if I am going stir crazy and .... some days I feel like crying' so we have agreed that when we can sell up we will and will move to the centre of somewhere such as Wallingford - as loumable says, taking my chooks with us. Meanwile, despite the cost of petrol, I'll just use the car to get to the neibouring towns more. Today we went to a little restaurant that did Middle Eastern food and I just loved it. I don't know where the other clients there came from but suddently I was back in my element and I think that 'being in one's element' is what it is all about. I would just like to say that this Omlet forum has, in the past year, made a huge difference to me and when I move I'll be taking that with me too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newcountrygirl Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Hope everything works out for you. I can't wait to move - the people on the road we are moving to seem quite friendly. Plus we will have three acres so my Border Terrier Ziggy will have lots of room to play - not to mention our Bees and our three girls - Matilda madge and Gladys (Chickens) I intend to make a huge effort to get to know more people once we move - I think I just got so downhearted here that I gave up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I'm a real country bumpkin, have lived in rural Devon my whole life. I love the solitude, open spaces, quiet etc. I hate town (I never go into "town" which is 20 miles away). I think it's all down to what you are used to. As a country gal I find cities unfriendly and the people within them unfriendly. Walk into a pub in a city and "Ooops, word censored!"ody acknowledges you, walk into a pub in the country and someone will always strike up a conversation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken shack Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I moved from the centre of High Wycombe to South Oxfordshire about 8 years ago and am having a horrid feeling that my country experiment did not really work. I love my chickens but that apart I've found people often less friendly than they were in the town, more judgemental really, and things like hedges filled with litter or empty cans and roads splatted with dead birds, badgers and foxes seems so sad. Also I'm a little tired of looking out of my window to see nothing but passing motorist. "Ooops, word censored!"ody seems to actually walk anywhere but seem to scoot out of their back gates into their cars and then vanish. It is not really what I thought it would be. Am I alone? We moved from London in August to a village. It is the best thing we have ever done. The village is not dead and has a large shop that opens at 6am till 8.30pm and has a butchers. We have a pub/hotel, village hall, primary school and the village feels alive. I see children, elderly walking about. Everyone talks, infact if you are in a hurry you are wasting your time if you try and dash. Today we went on a long bike ride met and chatted with comlpete strangers, returned home and sat in the garden drinking cocktails with our neighbours while our chickens FR. I then had a chat to a young neighbour and gave her some eggs. Friday evening the village hall had a Christams sale with mince pies, mulled wine and chestnuts, it was full to bursting. I think the whole village turned out. As we walked to the event I remembered how I was always worried I would be mugged when I stepped out of my front door and I only spoke to my next door neighbour after living there for thirty years. Everyone we used to know had moved along time ago. I know we are very fortunate to have found such a fantstic place to live and smile everyday. Not all villages are unfriendly, I do hope you are able to get through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 We spent 2 years looking for country bliss! We should have been born in the country!We love it where we've moved to! Not isolated at all! Lovely village shop/post office, 3 pubs, a pavillion that has events on, a village hall that has all sorts on including a W.I, on a bus route - 6 mins away to next village with a Spar, 2 butchers, 3 cafes, wool shop, banks,agricultural / animal feeds suppliers, pubs etc. About 20 minutes from Aberystwyth & the same to Lampeter. I love having tootles out in my car & discovering new villages & places of natural interest. People will always say hello in the village, stop and talk, do anything for you - we even have a chip van that comes every Thursday evening! We like the village life & community & all the open space & natural beauty around us. Just love nature! Adore waking up in the morning here & looking out to the Cambrian mountains. Sounds like heaven? It really is! We love watching the Red Kites (birds) & we also get R.A.F jets & carriers flying low over here! WE love not having to dress up & going out on the fields in whatever we like! We like being able to walk out in wellies! I guess we moved to the right place & found what is right for us. Hope things work out for you. Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chortle Chook Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 I think that perhaps the difference is between 'real' country and country around large main towns or cities. Real country is, as others on here have said, open spaces, peacefulness but also friendlinees. What has become commuting country is dead and suspicious. I've realised that being able to see a field from one's window does not mean one is 'in the country'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I think a lot depends on the community, as much as where a village is located Our village can be dead during the day as people commute to towns to work, but there is a very active local council who work hard to ensure that things like footpaths (and dog poo bins), recreational facilities and village events are encouraged and well promoted. If you are not a joiner in, then there is not much to do - it wouldn't be feasible for a cafe or coffee shop to open as there is not enough passing trade, but volunteers run several church coffee mornings which are valued and well attended. If you want to feel the buzz and be an observer, then city life is always going to be preferable, but if you are willing to be a joiner and get involved, then a country life would suit you (unless you are happy with your own company ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I love being out in the country and with animals on the farm etc, but am a Brummie so also a city boy at heart! I so love living in Aberystwyth (I know thats still big but its in a rural area), everyones friendly and if you can't find what you need they'll help, but I do miss Brum and everything that goes with it when I haven't been back for a while. I think if I moved out to the "proper" countryside I'd feel isolated and lonely so would have to live in a busy village so you have the best of both worlds. My ideal is to have a smallholding thats not too far from where we are now but have got a few years to look first! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I've been all ends of the spectrum too; brought up in a medium sized town where we only knew our immediate neighbours, my grandparents had a smallholding and their immediate neighbours were lovely and they had a close community in that area. I lived and worked in London for 12 years, latterly living in a very community minded street. I was more than happy to move out here 18 years ago, and now lived in a medium sized town, within 5 mins walk of the centre. yet the street is quiet-ish and we have a wonderful community spirit and a yearly street party. It's only 5 mins from the pen countryside and plenty of lovely walks nearby too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I grew up in the countryside, we lived on a stately home estate where my dad was the head gardener, it was a very isolated existence as a teenager, but there are times when I wish I had been mature enough to appreciate it. I spent most of my time cycling 6 miles to the nearest town where my friends lived and where I went to school. We now live about 1.5 miles from a large and vibrant town and have a local shopping street about 3/4 mile away which has a fantastic eclectic mix of small businesses and charity shops, we are also within walking distance of a large hospital, a supermarket, library and many other great facilities. Although we live on a main road and I do sometimes long for some peace, we are surrounded by fields and have some great views. I consider it the best of both worlds. We are not joiners by nature, so I don't think village life would suit us, we would love to have more land but would find it hard to give up the conveience of where we live. When we go to visit our family we stay in a lovely quiet cottage which is our escape from the hustle and bustle, we have a couple of weeks of peace and quiet every year and we do find that we sleep so well where it is very dark and very quiet, but I wouldn't like it all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
