merlina Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 This is another 'omleteers know everything' request.... I've spent the weekend with a friend who's quite a few years older than me. She's rather upset at all the changes she's experiencing, physically and otherwise and mentioned that there really didn't seem to be any information about getting older and what to expect, what is 'normal' etc. I'd never thought about this before but it strikes me as very true - and very surprising. There's loads of books about growing up, but nothing general about the other end. I had a good look for books/websites etc and pretty much drew a blank. There were a few very general and uninteresting leaflets, but nothing in any depth. So - does anyone know of any such resources? If there isn't, it seems that someone really should write a book! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Not sure if it would be any help, but at work we sell a magazine called 'The Oldie', which is very popular indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 There's also the SAGA magazine - I think you have to subscribe to it, don't think you can get it in shops, but I think that's a mine of useful info for readers and their families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I've gleaned quite a lot of information from websites like Livestrong and Fitness Pal. I suppose it is such a massive time of life no book could cover everything. I've found lots of interesting stuff online, especially on forums. I like to read forums about any given thing I'm experiencing, there is always someone with the same question. I'm certainly enjoying my fifties, it's all about me, it's like being a teenager again. I've no major responsibilities, my kids are all on the right path, there are no grandchildren to fret about, my parents have kicked me into touch so I don't worry about them. OH and I are making the most of this time because things will undoubtedly change. One thing I feel very confident about and should headline any information about getting older is the benefit of exercise. I feel much healthier, more than I did five or even ten years ago. All aching joints have gone and I'm sure my hair is thicker. You can't stop the ageing process but you can slow it down and even reverse some of the effects. That certainly should be shouted out loud and clear. If you don't use it you lose it and I think that applies to all aspects of us. I bet this forum could put together an amazing and useful book with all our accumulated knowledge and experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 No way I'd go on Livestrong for anything all linked to that cheating scumbag Lance Armstrong I can remember the discovery that it's not only your head hairs that go grey was a big shocker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Yep And although I know that older people feel the cold but do we really need to grow enough hair to qualify for bear status? us poor women spend out lives battling with deforestation and it gets worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merlina Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Heh, the sudden appearance of moustache and chin hair was my most unpleasant discovery so far! I really feel for my friend because I've worried/thought about these various things too - what seems like sudden deterioration in eyesight (as someone who never needed glasses) has been something I did get anxious about until various opticians told me it was 'normal' Saga magazine is a good idea - I didn't realise it was still going, and remember being quite impressed with the quality of the journalism when I last came across an issue. It's still a shame that there doesn't seem to be a 'one-stop-shop' for this stuff. I suppose it's tricky as we all age at very different rates and different ways, unlike puberty where everyone does it in at least the same 5 or so years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I'm in denial. However, apart from above your neck it gets a lot thinner and finer. Legs and armpits hardly need doing now. I'd like to know what is normal for memory and absorbing information. I'm really scared about the tricks my mind plays now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 This is interesting, and yes I worry about my memory too. I assume your friend was mostly concerned with physical changes, merlina? It's easy to see ageing as negative, but there are lots of positives to it in my view - I am much more confident than when I was younger and I worry much less. While in some ways I have got more stroppy - I am much more likely to complain about poor service, for example - I am a lot more relaxed about many other things. So the driver in front was not paying attention and the lights have gone red again - so what. And I am perfectly happy to stay in with a DVD and a glass of wine on a Saturday night, gone are the days when I felt that I was missing out on something exciting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I havent noticed the lack of body hair - I think I am hairer at 53 either that or I am changing into a man. My memory is pants but I put it down to saturation of info, being in a sandwich situration elderly relies and one child still at home and one at uni. I have wrinkles and the bum etc hit the floor yrs ago. If I had the dosh I'd have a few bits tucked lifted and made good but on a nurses pay that wont happen soon Meanwhile I have the hair dyed and stick to WW diet do some exercise and try to laugh at life. I am fairly content with my OH, kids and menagerie of furry and feathery pets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merlina Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Yes, it's primarily physical changes she's worried about, but the memory thing too, including forgetting names and words. She's an ex university professor s who's probably never forgotten anything in her life before! I think what really spooked her was that she went to the doctors with a fairly minor thing and got a whole 'are you looking after yourself/how many times do you go out/are you eating properly' routine from the nurse - that was the point she realised she was 'old'. Then she said she hadn't seen anyone for a couple of weeks and it all got rather unpleasant. The nurses (three of them had grouped by this time) started worrying over her and saying how awful it was she hadn't seen anyone and she pointed that this is exactly what she had hoped for in her retirement - to go for weeks/months and have peace to do her own thing/not to have to get dressed up etc. This was the wrong thing to say as this was taken as further evidence that something was very wrong. She now keeps getting sent details of groups for old people and there was even a threat of a social worker. Now she's scared to go back to have things like her hearing (which has certainly declined a little) checked out. All this worries me a little too - not seeing anyone for a few months and slobbing in my PJs seems like my idea of bliss too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 How old is she then? Nurses do tend to get a bit clucky over old people - you hear so many stories about the elderly being neglected and then you get an over enthuastic nurse (like me) who then gets her knickers in a twist about someone neglecting themselves etc.Its the mother hen syndrome. I realised some time back I could go on Saga holidays but was put off when a friend said her mate and a friend went (both female) and had daggers from the wives who were there as their husbands were all over them chatting them up etc. How sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merlina Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 she's 66 and retired almost a year ago. She had become very disillusioned with her job and looking forward to retirement so much and seemed to be having a really great time until this happened. The worries about niggly things had already cropped up we'd joked about leg hair migrating to the chin and so on as some things I'd already started to see. My nails are also now rather rubbish - all my life I've been proud of my talons which stayed stupidly long regardless of camping/gardening etc. Now they break if the wind changes My friend's nails have developed deep ridges which bothers her - is that another 'one of those things' or should she be concerned? That's the kind of thing - and there's just a lot of them. Hair thinning/seeming more fragile is another - so not exactly medical, but just unexpected I think the nurses just couldn't accept that a 'healthy' person wouldn't want to get out of the house (as she says, she absolutely loves her house and hasn't been able to spend time in it until she retired) and see other people (she's never been a people person) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I think if shes content then just be happy that someone cares and if shes worried re physical things probably request blood tests just to check all is well. Nothing wrong with being a home bird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 66 ! That's not old! Plenty of people of that age are still working (and some of us will have to go on long beyond that) - I thought you were going to say she was in her 80s! Loneliness is a big problem for older people, especially if they are housebound and don't use the internet but that's completely different to someone who chooses to be on their own. Your friend shouldn't be put off using health services. I will just add that breaking nails and thinning hair are classic symptoms of thyroid deficiency, might be worth getting that checked out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 All this worries me a little too - not seeing anyone for a few months and slobbing in my PJs seems like my idea of bliss too! Mine too, as women we spend many years dancing to other people's tunes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 I don't open letters or emails from Saga which they started sending years ago. I'll decide when I'm old enough and embrace them then. The thing I hate more than anything is being patronised by young people in shops and receptions. I hate being talked to as though I'm a bit simple just because I'm older. Editing myself to add that normally I am very friendly and smiley to people in service industries but when I get the simple old lady attitude I think my face changes to one resembling a bulldog chewing a wasp. My neighbour is 92 and I love her. She's spry and funny. She has to wear a bracelet in case she falls which she finds very embarrassing. Actually it has a smoke detector too (I didn't know that) and set it off cooking sausages. She had her radio on and her kitchen door shut and didn't notice phone calls from alarm centre, her neighbour who clambered over fences to rescue her - not a young man himself or the Fire Brigade battering at her front door. Eventually she heard something and opened her front door and in her words - there was this big fireman standing there in his tin hat, I was very cross. She was laughing so much when she was telling us this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
percy049 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Worrying about ageing now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Creaking at the knees and elbows today after a hard day yesterday..... I'm only 41 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Percy forget it for the next few decades Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Plus really don't worry,there are, as a previous poster has said, many benefits too. I am so much more confident now, most of this has come in the last couple of years . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Some things don't work as well, but the benefits of maturity and experience far outweigh those issues. I am pretty gregarious, but can happily go the whole day (when I'm not at work) without talking to anyone except for the animals. Experience tends to help you put things into perspective, so you worry less and don't fret about things you needn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Oh I want one of those bracelets! I wouldn't mind a fireman turning up. Oh drat - forgot the rest of the family are still here. Ooooh to be aloooone to do as I please!!! I don't think you can ever find a general thing on ageing as everybody does it differently. The most irritating thing for me is having spots again! Go away I had you when I was young and I didn't like you then! It may be something to do with spiky hairs? I have a lot of down on my cheeks and suddenly age seems to have caught up wrinkle-wise. Don't really care - my mum has a quilted face so it looks like I'll be having the same. Although she thinks old. Always has. Me, I'd rather think young - never give up, never surrender! My lovely neighbour and I don't really discuss our children much (apart from they are driving us crazy) but more on our ailments. OMG I AM old!!!! I wondered about the baldy underarms. I decided that there was so much fat they'd given up! As for the nethers, I don't think there's as much but then I haven't been able to see down there for years. I don't think I need to know really. And what is it about those little hanging moles/warts. My nan had them and so do I now. And the witchy warts with the hairs like a little living hedgehog on your face. My dad lost his after chemo but I don't think I want to go that route just for a little blob. Some redheads are lucky in that they never go grey. My great grandfather was one. I didn't inherit that bit. Although number one son had grey hair in a patch right from when he was a baby. It's still there but having a thick mop it doesn't show much. As for Saga holidays I don't think I'll bother seeing as hubby now qualifies. There was something always I can do that you can't na na ne na na about it. Not that I'd ever wanted to go in the first place! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Anything Saga my husband chucks in the bin. Denial as well. I haven't got any dangly warty things, I'm jealous. Tired hanging jowels though and creases I don't want. Clare I'm like you I love my own company as long as it's by choice. It's great being able to choose what you do and if you don't so what. OH retires in a few weeks so guess things will change then. I'll enjoy this spell of bliss. Having said that I'm busy now until 22nd The hardest thing before I retired was everyone asking me what I was going to do when I retired as though I should have a big project or life plan. It was really hard to answer so that I felt the person was satisfied and didn't think of me as a boring old fart. In the end I said I was going to learn to live with my husband. It's not that hard really we rub along fine. Going back to the first post there are lots of activities now for us old folk to be involved in social, political, voluntary etc., and I could fill my time several times over but the great thing is I don't have to and tell your friend Merlina to politely accept information and not read it again if she doesn't want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 1I do think we get a bit more confident because people make allowances for weird old people whereas weird young people were, well, weird. Old weird people are funny and have the title of being Eccentric - or in our cases Eggsentric! Dreading OH retiring. He can't stop still for one minute rush rush rush. Impatient twit! Oh golly the rest of our lives together with me in the fields if I have them and him yelling instructions for tea that he wants me to do from nearer the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
