Cinnamon Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 I have just found this article on Facebook, & it describes me so perfectly that it could have been written about me Those in my family who say I should force myself to get out more, socialise & go to parties because then I would be cured of my 'condition' (& therefore more like them, so a better person too I guess ) should read this. Then they might understand that us quieter souls are not abnormal, just different. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/22/introvert-misunderstandings_n_7119352.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 That's interesting! Although I can't identify with all of those traits, some of them are definitely me. I've always felt I must somehow be abnormal to not like parties or having people round to my house but reading that has actually made me feel better. I like my own company but am happy enough to be with other people too. Just not particularly at parties or dinner parties! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mullethunter Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 That's me too Cinnamon. And my mum. She's recently found out that at school everyone thought she thought she was too good for them, but actually she was just quiet! I really struggle at work to explain to people (my boss in particular) that just because I'm quiet and happy to be on my own I am actually happy that way. Everyone seems to assume you'd like to be different! I have a book called 'The Power Of The Introvert' (I think), but it's hard going Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted April 23, 2015 Author Share Posted April 23, 2015 I really struggle at work to explain to people (my boss in particular) that just because I'm quiet and happy to be on my own I am actually happy that way. Everyone seems to assume you'd like to be different! Exactly! I tried explaining to my VERY social SIl that I don't like parties & all that stuff, & she said firstly that there is probably some medication I can take to help me get over it, & secondly that I should force myself to go (it was her hen party), because it would do me good Akin to telling a depressive to just cheer up, really I am more than comfortable in my little bubble & don't feel the need to improve myself by acting like some people think I should, rather than how I actually want to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 It's a hot topic of conversation here. I wonder why modern society has to define everyone as being this or being that. You just are as you are. Enjoying parties doesn't make you better equipped for life. I don't give reasons anymore, I just decline invitations. That's working out fine. As much as I hate the word, I feel empowered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lydia Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Interesting reading and me to a tee! The worst part of my job is doing trade fairs and having to talk to everyone with nowhere to hide at any point. I maybe do come across as aloof but I do try really hard not to - inwardly I'm screaming "oh, just go away, please! I am massively uncomfortable with this situation!" I am totally exhausted after 2 days of that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Cinnamon I have read many of your posts and I think that you probably like many of us bloom in the right company ie where you feel unthreatened, safe and not under duress to be something you're not. Your SIL sounds rather controlling and blind to the fact that not everyone can be like her. If someone told me a depressive to snap out of it - I would probably give em a smack as its just not that simple. You dont need a pill but I think she does - a sleeping one comes to mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 What's wrong with being the way that you are, and why do some folks feel the need to change you? Being quieter, or less outgoing than another person doesn't mean that you have a problem. I can identify with point about being a killjoy; I don't drink, so people assume that I am a killjoy and don't know how to have fun, which is a total load of rubbish. I used to be a real social butterfly, and am still fine to talk to people I don't know, and go to events, BUT as I get older, I prefer quiet company and not having to make an effort... sounds lazy I know, but after a heavy day at work, I'd often much rather stay in, in my PJs and read. And as for a hen night - couldn't think of anything worse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlottechicken Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 12 out of 12 apply to me. Used to struggle in the open plan (huge) office at work, continual meetings and with the phone. When I was at school people who didn't know me well thought I was stuck up. Shame that people think they can change you and make you more like them, they should appreciate the balance that is provided by us more introverted characters, imagine a room full of limelight huggers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavclojak Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 I'm the same DM...I don't drink alcohol at all and when I am out people seem to think I can't have a good time without consuming vast quantities of the stuff. I don't like the taste and the way it makes me feel so I would rather have a glass of soda water! I talk to people all day at work, make polite conversation more ofter than not to create a calm atmosphere but sometimes, when I get home I just want quiet and an elasticated waist ..... I used to love going out but the older I get the less I can listen to people's twoddle, I am developing zero tolerance for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackrocksrock Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Fits me to a T also - hate the workplace party stuff and summer gatherings and I also prefer my own company - I can enjoy myself with my close friends but in a small group and I also dont drink these days - Never did much but now never touch it - and again people think this is strange!. I interact with public all day long so enjoy the peace and quiet of my own company and my family at nights and weekends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Oooo, me too! Particularly the one about the 'phone, I feel sick every time it rings, and as for making calls - that's even worse. I don't drink, purely because I don't like the taste, but when I avoid it so totally, people seem to wonder if I'm a recovering alcoholic (particularly as my hands shake sometimes!) They are all very happy to have me as their "designated driver" though I live alone (with dog, chickens etc) and can't imagine life any other way - my mum thinks it's astounding that anyone would live alone out of choice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valkyrie Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 I'm more chatty on the keyboard than real life. I think it's a shock to people when I go to big places - I like to hide in a corner. It does take a while for me to relax in large groups. I find when I think of something to say the conversation has changed. Or I think what I do have to offer isn't really interesting. I think it's probably less being introverted and being more lacking in confidence in myself. Crowds leave me wanting to escape - like London. I realllllllllllllly don't like London. I hated working there. To be fair most cities leave me cold. I find talking on the phone is easier too. I can judge whether people are good humoured or not - plus they can't see me. Or rather I can't see them and get tongue tied. When I worked in a bank and was made a cashier (after managing so well to do other positions without direct customer contact), I absolutely dreaded it. But then I found it was fun. Perhaps learning in a small satellite branch in a little village was the best thing for me - I really enjoyed myself there. Then going back to the faster paced town branches wasn't a problem any more. So maybe I am introverted but if the right door is opened I can let my hair down and have fun. Edited to add - age has a lot to do with things. I don't give a monkeys what people think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Interesting - I wouldn't say I'm an introvert, I am happy to talk to strangers, meet new people and chat on the phone but a lot of those points rang true with me. I don't really like large parties, I prefer small groups and although I'm quite good at small-talk (have had to be through work) I don't really enjoy it. I do agree though that getting older has made me better at this, and I love those random meetings with new people - I sat next to an elderly gentleman at a concert last year and he ended up telling me how he'd come to England on the Kindertransport - it was fascinating. I loathe work 'do's, they always involve standing around in noisy wine bars drinking gassy beer or nasty wine and trying to have conversations that you can't hear - I don't understand why other people enjoy them. I've got a 'leaving drinks' at lunchtime today and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I can't really avoid it today, as I'm the person leaving! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 I've got a 'leaving drinks' at lunchtime today and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I can't really avoid it today, as I'm the person leaving! That did make me chuckle! I have my brothers 40th birthday surprise meal looming - I am totally dreading it as all of vile SIL's family will be there & I hate that they are forced upon us all the time They are all loud & overpowering which I find uncomfortable. Might have to pull a sickie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 I've got a 'leaving drinks' at lunchtime today and I'm not looking forward to it at all. I can't really avoid it today, as I'm the person leaving! That did make me chuckle! I have my brothers 40th birthday surprise meal looming - I am totally dreading it as all of vile SIL's family will be there & I hate that they are forced upon us all the time They are all loud & overpowering which I find uncomfortable. Might have to pull a sickie I'm sure the Omlet Mods must have the authority to write you a sick note ... there must be a rule about that somewhere, surely??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 Its my own fault that I am having to attend really - I have difficulty in saying no sometimes I would truly rather be doing almost anything on a saturday afternoon, now that the date is just around the corner. Why do I do this to myself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Dear Fambly I'm afraid Cinamon carnt come out to play on Saturday. She has cort something nasty off of her chikens and has to stay in and take medsin. Sorry. A Modderator Any good? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Dear Fambly I'm afraid Cinamon carnt come out to play on Saturday. She has cort something nasty off of her chikens and has to stay in and take medsin. Sorry. A Modderator Any good? Wow, Olly, that's AMAZING can you write one for me too, please, to excuse me from work on Monday, please!?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 This is making me laugh . Olly, everything you said about yourself rings true with me too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mullethunter Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patsylabrador Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Being quiet and reserved shouldn't imply weakness. I am quiet and reserved but at 18 I left my family in a small village in Wiltshire to join the Metropolitan police in London and I did OK. It was difficult and I was scared and it was in a not so pretty 70's mysogynist (sp) world but I'm proud of my history. I go on enough about it so you've probably gathered that. When I left I refused to organise a leaving do but the chaps planned one anyway. It was sweet and kind and they were a great bunch but boy, was I glad when it was over. Surely thoughtful quietness should be regarded as an asset not a disability. I feel very strongly about this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groovychook Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Lots of those traits apply to me too. I've had to force myself to attend big social occasions over the years and generally find them quite stressful. Being introduced to people at parties practically brings me out in a cold sweat! I hate having to talk about myself and feel much more comfortable listening than talking. I used to feel so embarrassed about blushing when I was younger too because my discomfort would become so obvious. I also hate talking on the phone. I think it's because I can't read peoples facial expressions and always feel under pressure to keep the conversation going Good to hear I'm not on my own! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkysmum Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Mmm yes I can identify with lots of that article too. Made me think, is it because we all keep chickens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I think that everyone has an element of 'introvertness' in them, so we're all likely to identify with some of the statements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
