Chicken bald back

[dancing cloud]

Having made constant errors, almost daily in the last month, and today going to be put on the formal performance management process at work (which may lead to dismissal if I don't improve), I finally went to my GP last week and was diagnosed with depression. I know many Omleteers have experience of this - either yourselves or in family or friends - and am therefore seeking to benefit from your knowledge by asking were there any things that were particularly helpful or unhelpful to your recovery? I appreciate everyone is different and what works well for some may be of no benefit to others, but any pointers would be helpful.

 

I am due back at the GP's on 1st March for blood tests to exclude any physical causes. The results will take 7-10 days to come back and I will probably then be prescribed anti-depressants. I have been advised they will take 3-4 weeks to kick in, assuming we have the right medication and dose, so I could be looking 6-7 weeks ahead before the medication helps.

 

In the meantime I need to be able to immediately manage, and demonstrate I am managing, at least the work problems. The rest of life may have to wait a while. As I have probably never been fully well while I have been in this job, I feel I may have already exhausted any support my colleagues would wish to give. They have had to pick up the pieces from someone who was meant to be their supervisor and are understandably fed up with it and complaining about it, especially as it has got so much worse. My manager will supervise to make sure I am achieving what I should, but this will be part of the formal process and I believe is more likely to be detached and judgemental rather than supportive. I could be very pleasantly surprised?

 

There's so much information on the t'internet that it's hard to find my way through, so all thoughts and experiences very welcome.

Edited April 22, 2016 by Guest

[Blackrocksrock]

Gosh I am sorry you are going through this and an illness should not be a reason to dismiss you. You need their support rather than none at this time. I have no experience of depression personally but understand it can be devastating if not controlled and it can be with medication. Good luck and all crossed for you today.

[percy049]

Antidepressants (but they can take up to 6 weeks to work fully) and CBT definitely helped me. For immediate help I'd recommend looking at the Mind website and possibly contacting them, if not just reading their self-help booklets

 

Could your GP sign you off work for a short time while you recover? You could spend the time seeing friends/family etc to try and help you do things

[Groovychook]

I'm sorry to hear you've been going through a difficult time.

I think that you could do without the pressure of work for a while too.

Just wanted to send you best wishes and hope that the antidepressants have you feeling more like your old self soon.

[Sil-El]

Sorry to hear about your problems.

 

I think it might be worth asking your GP to sign you off work for a while, at least until your medication has had time to take effect. And really your HR department at work should be made aware of the issue. Your work could be the cause of your depression as much as your depression could be affecting your ability to work, so they should be made aware of this before they embark on any course of "improvement" or disciplinary action.

 

As far as I understand it, you can't be disciplined for suffering from a health condition, mental or otherwise and now you have been diagnosed I think you may find that your employer has to back off somewhat and give you a lot more leeway.

 

I found this on the Mind website which you might find handy - http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/discrimination-at-work/#.VsxgYOZqsrU

 

Take care and I hope things start to improve for you over the next few weeks

[dancing cloud]

Thank you everyone - I knew you would all be supportive and not judgemental. I think for now I would like to stay in work, as it gives me a routine and gets me out of the house, whether I want to go or not.

 

I have had the meeting with my manager and she was actually very kind, and much more supportive than I had anticipated. I think it helped that I had brought some positive suggestions about how I could manage in the short term - checklists, asking someone to run through something with me etc - rather than just lobbing it over to her. She brought me some info about our employee assistance provision, through which I may be able to access CBT a lot quicker than on the NHS, which is definitely worth looking into. I cried a lot .

 

This will be going along the formal performance management route, and the targets and timescales will be adapted to recognise that it will be a couple of months before the medication takes effect. There is no unrealistic expectation of immediate improvement. I have not yet told the team, and I feel I need to trust and respect them enough to do so - they can then at least make an informed choice as to whether to support me or not.

 

Thank you percy049. There is a well-established branch of Mind in this area and I'm sure they would be really helpful.

 

Feeling a bit better, just for having shared Thank you.

[Alis girls]

Hi sorry you are going through a rough patch. Please feel free to PM me. I thought long and hard before replying. Mainly because I am a chronic depressive.

I don't know what you do job wise but if you can cope and are safe to do so it may help in the long run. Anti depressants do help. CBT was also helpful. Counselling is also an idea. I am pleased your manager was helpful.

Look after your physical health good diet and some exercise, make time for yourself and I have found I have had to try and detatch myself from people who want your support 24/7 but don't give it back. You need to concentrate on you. Most importantly don't beat yourself up. You can't help being depressed. It's a chemical imbalance and often runs in families and get anyone anytime. Don't be ashamed.

I work in the NHS and feel proud to have held down a job whilst being on meds most of the time, running a home having a lovely husband 2sons and a menagerie of animals. No big deal but tougher if you are depressed.

Please be aware that most people are on meds short term but some will be like me on them long term.

Hope you feel better soon and Omlet has a great support network. Please PM me any time. Apologies for long thread. I do blather on. Love Ali xx

[Alis girls]

Forgot to add I have purchased a book called Mindfulness byv Mark Williams and Danny Penman from Amazon. It explores ways of coping with stress. OH and I with our 14 yr old son are doing the meditation exercises - tape is included which talks you through it. We have all slept better since and that feeling of not being able to switch off has improved.

On a lighter note and there are lighter notes our cat was freaked out by a room of humans deep breathing . I was aware of a paw on my knee.

[bluekarin]

Im sorry to hear you are experiencing this, but glad you have chosen to seek help. Always the first huge hurdle. I was going to suggest speaking to work, and tell them about the drs diagnosis, but you already have and I am glad they were much more sympathetic than you were expecting.

Try and ask for help from people around you, be that at work or at home. Depression, as has already been said, can be a chemical imbalance and nothing to do with you. It is beyond your control. The medication does take time to work, or for you to see it working. When our YD was pit on Prozac, we were told we would see an improvement way before she even though there was one. And we have. We were also told to be aware she could be even more depressed about 3/4 weeks after starting treatment, and thats more to do with you suddenly being aware of just quite how bad things have been. Make sure family, friends and chosen collegues are aware of this.

There are some great mindfullness apps which are really helpful. Some people(my ED) hate it, but I found it really helpful.

Don't forget we are all here for your downs, as well as ups. And as you said, we are all sympathetic and non judgmental. All the best and heres to finding that silver lining

[soapdragon]

Dancing Cloud...sorry to hear about you prob but pleased that your work seem to be sympathetic and that you are able to see a way forward. You say that you have never been fully well whilst in your job which I, personally, find very telling. Do you think that its work related? Is there any way that you could take a break from work or plan to look for something else when things are a bit more back on an even keel? Do hope that you can get some meds sorted very soon and feel brighter.

[Alis girls]

Hi just wondered how you are?

[dancing cloud]

Thank you for asking

 

I am feeling a bit better partly because I have shared with my manager and this forum and the world has not ceased turning, partly becuse I managed to get some work out this morning with no mistakes in it at all and probably partly because we've had a couple of days of sunshine. I even managed to get really annoyed with something this morning and, while that might not seem a great thing, at least I summoned up that amount of energy.

 

I have started to take St John's Wort, but am only on day three, so I don't think it has had a huge effect yet. I may have to stop that when the anti-depressants are prescribed, but that won't be for at least another couple of weeks and I felt I needed to do something.

 

our cat was freaked out by a room of humans deep breathing

Mine always tries to come and sit on me, as though he's feeling left out in some way and wants to join in.

[Willow]

partly because we've had a couple of days of sunshine.

 

I've not got any personal experience (well I have of depression but not the seasonal sort) but this phrase jumped out at me. Do you think one of those SAD lamps might be worth a try as well as the meds? I realise you won't know if it helped

 

Glad work handled it well

[chickencam]

That sounds like a great idea, I feel so much better at this time of year if the sun is shining. You can hire them I think and get them vat free if you have a diagnosis I think.

[dancing cloud]

I already have one and have been using it, but it's not the same as being able to get out and about in proper crisp fresh air and sunshine. This does seems to have been a very long and grey winter, and just seeing sunshine and a few flowers coming out probably makes everyone happier .

[percy049]

How are you doing?

[dancing cloud]

Had a really bad day last Tuesday - drove home not even feeling low, just completely empty - so claimed an emergency appointment at the doctors on Wednesday and was prescribed anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills. Lots of warnings about not mixing them with other things eg alcohol and told that I won't feel any different for 3-4 weeks at the earliest.

 

I have also made contact with our employee assistance programme to source some CBT and hopefully will start the sessions tomorrow. I can have up to 6 telephone sessions, which should be really helpful. At the moment, when I catch myself ruminating, I mentally sing "All things bright and beautiful" to break the cycle and I'm sure there are better ways !

 

I know it's not going to be a quick fix and I am really looking forward to feeling and acting normal-for-me again.

[Grandmashazzie]

Sorry to hear of your bad day, but on the positive side it kick started your treatment. Well done for arranging CBT I am sure they will have lots of tips for coping. All things bright and beautiful sounds good. I have a little song/ hymn my daughter used to sing when she was small, it's about a rainbow. I always sing it to myself and picture her little face. It never fails to cheer me up. Hope the meds kick in, you could mark days off on your calendar and you can see yourself getting closer to happy days.

[percy049]

CBT will do a similar thing in getting you to think of something happy whenever you get a negative thought and challenging them. A general example could be thinking "I'm worthless" but then thinking of friends/family/work colleagues who rely on you and look up to you for help (and thinking of all the support you've got on here )

[Valkyrie]

Lots of big squashy hugs for you. Take care hunbun.

xxx

[Willow]

Just wondered how you were doing? I know it's very early days and too soon for any of the treatments to be taking effect but wanted to let you know we're thinking of you

[dancing cloud]

Thank you for asking - the support is very much appreciated.

 

Lots of anxiety attacks - apparently a side-effect of the anti-depressants - I have had a few days without them though. Currently on leave for a week, so no chance of making a mess of things at work, which should reduce the anxiety a bit.

 

Two and a half weeks into the anti-depressants, so fingers crossed they will start to produce positive effects very soon

[soapdragon]

Hoping that the meds kick in very soon and that you are feeling more positive asap! Time away from work sounds good too so hope that has helped.

[Groovychook]

Hope that you week off work does you the world of good and that the anti depressants start to work their magic soon

[dancing cloud]

7 weeks into the anti-depressants and I feel so much better .

 

Ok, I'm not exactly dancing on the tables yet, and my concentration is still not as good as it could be, but I do feel like the hopelessness/helplessness has gone and I am able to better cope with life. Dose of anti-depressants has not needed to be increased and haven't taken any anxiety pills for at least a couple of weeks. Dr has warned that there will be dips and is really pleased I am making progress.

 

My manager and I had a good chat and because I'd told her of the diagnosis/medication and she can really see an improvement, she has held off on the formal perfomance action. She comes across as rather cold and a bit of a tyrant, but I have to say she has been both kind and supportive when she understood there really was something wrong. Sometimes people surprise you for the better .

 

Thank you everyone on here for your support and encouragement. It really does help being able to share with people you know will understand and will be there.

 

Fingers crossed for continued improvement to bright sunshiny days.