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Why didn't I just agree to a dog!

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I've been having a series of conversations with my 14 year old daughter, who is a skilled negotiator.............and very aware of what she wants.

This all started out because of the NZ move, thinking about small incentives that we could offer the children to make them feel really positive about the forthcoming move, but I'm beginning to feel that I might be getting out of my depth :roll: .

So here goes the series of conversations:


When we first wanted to move to NZ she said she'd go, but only if we promised her a dog . We debated a bit, said we'd think about it, but couldn't decide until we got out there and had decided that staying would be right for us, didn't want the worry of having to rehome a dog if we didn't like it out there, and , quite honestly, I feel the same way about dogs as I do about babies right now. Absolutely love them, like a cuddle, stroke, even the odd long walk, but I no longer want full time responsibility. Ok she said.


About a month later she'd seen something about NZ, which involved horse-riding, so she changed her mind about the dog...........could she have a horse please? We hesitated even more, maybe riding lessons or something we said, we'd investigate when we got there. Something horse related was definitely negotiatable, but probably not her own horse, at least not until we're settled. She accepted that............for a little while :roll:


Then it dawned that youngsters can drive at 15 over there, and she has her 15th birthday just before we arrive, so now she's lost interest in dogs or horses, she'd like a car instead please :shock: . I think I lost the art of speech with that one, definitely not feeling ready to let her drive yet, but still, it's up for negotiation was our response.



Sunday she flew her first proper engined plane (a little 2 seater tutor plane), only ever flown a glider before and apparently she was in control of the plane for 29 mins out of a 30 min flight and the instructor said she was a natural! (She's in Air Cadets and absolutely loves it). So guess what she wants now :shock::shock::shock: .


Suddenly a dog seems like a great idea :lol::lol::lol::lol:

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Oh dear Kate! - I wondered about the driving thing when I saw it on Wanted Down Under...........I was hoping your daughter wouldn't find out just yet. I know you saw the programme and so you also know that Car Insurance isn't compulsory either and they have a big problem with that :?


erm.......... don't know what to suggest..........lots of Horsey Magazines?? :?

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I really admire her flying skills - my dad was a glider pilot and owned his own glider - his friends used to take me up a lot when I was your daughter's age (dad wouldn't take me with him in case something happened :roll: ). I loved having a go at flying........then I discovered boys and lost interest :oops:

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:lol::lol::lol: We had the same thing (the beginning bit) happen when we were moving. We were supposed to be moving to a smallholding (part of it) where there was a Pointer Puppy who my daughter had fallen in love with.


It all fell through and we decided to move somewhere completely different. but the thing that most upset my daughter was the pointer puppy. My husband said " you can have a pointer puppy in our new house " :shock:

OMG I thought - thanks for discussing this!


Anyway, we found out pretty quickly in the park that she was easily swayed by any breed of dog she thought looked nice. OH tried something..........

"do you want a kitten instead?" she said yes and we immediately went and got one from a resue centre (cats are so easy to look after!)



We couldn't believe our luck! (She was 6, not 15 though!)



I'll be interested to see how it turns out with the moving bribes! It must be really scary for everyone and I can understand why she wants to milk it! I hope you'll be in high paid jobs over there! - maybe get her to work out how she can make up the difference between a dog and a plane by getting work herself. (get her to read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad"

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he he he

She could always have a horse on loan, where you pay weekly or monthly to 'have the horse', but it's not entirely yours. You can hand it back at any time. Usually you come to an agreement with the owner over livery, food & vets bills. Just an idea. Not sure about a car at 15, but it's safer than a scooter!

Plane - well I guess she just best join the airforce or train as pilot for a decent airline. Nothing is out of reach, there are ways round everything. Good for her!!! A bit of dreaming also gives ambition - I'd say your daughter will do very well in life!!!



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When I was younger and my pet cats/dogs died I was devastated and wanted to get more pets. My parents didn't want anymore pets as they like their house looking in "showroom" condition and didn't want the tie and responsibility.


For a few weeks I went on and on, but eventually I found other things to amuse myself. Also at that age (15/16) priorities change very quickly so the pets would have end up being looked after solely by my parents, which was exactly what they were trying to avoid. I realised that pretty soon...


I now have my own cats & dogs and I love them to bits, I am an animal person and I could never live without the company of them! (I pretty much hate most other humans so don't socialise).


But really what I wanted to say is that you have done the right thing, you can't promise anything before you even move and settle in.


As for driving at age 15, I would just accept it and embrace it with open arms! It is a part of the country where you are going to live, so you must accept differences in cultures and rules/regulations. It will give your "young adult" some extra responsibility and freedom.


Also as NZ can be very rural it can be crucial for some young people to drive to continue education, start work, get groceries, run errands etc.

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Thanks all :D


I'm taking it all in a very light hearted way at the moment, let's face it she can want whatever she likes but I can't ever envisage us being in a position to keep a plane tucked away at the bottom of the garden, whether we're in the UK or NZ. It simply ain't going to happen :wink: . She does love flying though, and is taking it all very seriously, and her ambition is to join either the RAF or RNZAF (she's not fussy about the patriotism angle of the thing............any country that'll have her :roll: ) and she knows what A levels she needs and so on. I do think that she's going to go far..........she's a very determined young lady.


Driving, like it or not I think that both of my children will be driving very soon with insurance I hasten to add. I'll have misgivings about that I'm sure, but then I think all parents must experience those when they watch their offspring kangaroo-ing off the drive for the first time :?


Still don't know about the dog...........if I'm reluctant to have one here I can't see my opinions changing there, especially when you add to the mix that we may hate it over there and want to return, we will definitely be planning extended trips back to the UK, and the children are getting older and I don't want to be stuck with the sole responsibility for a dog that I never wanted in the first place. Hubby wants one though :roll: .


Horse? One word answer.........NO :shock: . She can't keep her bedroom tidy and stopped playing football because she got dirty finger nails :roll: . I can't see her mucking out and grooming on a daily basis.


So, it's more about a daft tale of escalating requests from a persuasive teenager than me really losing sleep over the dilemma, and I'll tackle her demands one at a time when I'm in a better situation to make decisions.


Driving at 15 though...........gulp :anxious:

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If I was to ask my OH which (if any) of those options he'd encourage, there'd be no doubt he'd say continue with the flying.

He has a P.P.L. himself & if she can get as much training through the Air cadets as possible it'll reduce potential costs of private flying lessons. Hiring a light aeroplane would be a fantastic way of seeing your new country & if she could continue on to make career of it - brilliant! :D

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