bellekatz Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I am so sad tonight. Friends of mine have had a tough time in the last twelve months. My daughter was thier bridesmaid when they got married about 15 moths ago. Over Christmas they had a tough time with each other ( alcohol was involved and had been for a while) but in May they announced a baby was due. My friend is 37 and they had been trying for a while and both thought that time was running out, so this was really good news. The alcohol stopped and everyone seemed happy. When we went to frnce a couple of weeks ago we got a text to say that she had delivered a littel girl, 16 weeks early, there were no neo natal beds in Manchester so they had ended up in Balckburn. Baby girl was tiny but a real fighter and despite my worst fears she hung on, started growing and improving. She was allowed out of her incubator for longer and longer spells and need less and less oxygen. Today we had a frantic phone call at 8 for a lift to Blackburn which my OH obliged with. We got a phone call at 12 to say things were improving, the 3 hours is critical that she had been given had stretched to 24 hours and her oxygen levels had more than doubled. The only a couple of hours later another call to say that baby girl had passed away. They are devasted, I am so sad. I have offered what help I can over the next weeek or so, especially as they don't drive and now have all sorts of hoops to jump through for her funeral . Why is life so cruel ??- they desperately wanted a child and now she has been taken away at 3 weeks old ( 16 weeks premature). It is too sad. Sorry everyone - just needed to offload ( again!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patricia W Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I am so, so, sorry for your friends. Nothing can compensate for the loss of a child. But sometimes such an experience can make people stronger in the long term. I do hope so. And my heart goes out to you too, as it is so hard to know what to do to help people you love in such circumstances. Tricia x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyhole kate Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Heartbreaking I dont know what else to say Xxx HugsX to you and your friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Such a difficult time for you - plenty of listening for you to do. As Tricia says, it can sometimes strengthen a relationship, I hope it does for your friends. My friend lost her baby last year - 11 hours old - she and her husband have ben amazingly strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 There simply aren't the words, I cannot begin to imagine the sadnes. Sending love, BeckyBoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 That is so sad . What an absolute tragedy . I'm so sorry . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 How sad so sorry Jayne xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Very sad news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 That's terribly sad, so sorry to read your post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 What a dreadful turn of events.....words are simply not enough {{hugs}} to you all, Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cooks Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 so sad, I too am without words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Marple Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 You seem to be having a rough time of late Jayne I am sorry to hear this now. Just be there for them which is a hard role but it is worse if you leave them to it - not sure if this makes sense but to be able to listen is a really important role and also a tough one. Thinking of you. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lewis Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Thats such a shame Hopefully, as others have said, it will make them stronger as a couple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I'm so sorry, that is so, so sad. Sending {{{{hugs}}}} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 How very sad, my heart goes out to your friends. Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Heartbreaking My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 How sad I don't know what else to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 How painfully sad. So sorry. Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaireG Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 I'm so so sorry Thinking of you and your friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 oh my word sending love and prayers to you and your friends (((hugs))) cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathybc Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 so sorry to hear about your friend, devastating news. Big hugs, you are having a tough time at the moment x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 that is so incredibly sad. I'm really sorry to hear about your friends loss. 16 weeks is so very, very early and it sounds like she put up a brave fight. ((((hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggy Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I've just caught up with this, words are not enough to help this sort of hurt, I'm so sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellekatz Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 They are both being very composed and strong at the moment. I have helped them with finding a funeral director and the funeral is now set for Friday afternoon. Maybe after that they will have time to grieve as I dont think they have really started yet, it's just shock that it is keeping them going. Hope it stays dry for a little while on Friday afternoon, its been so wet this afternoon again! Thanks to everyone for your kind comments and thoughts. You really are such a supportive lot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 How so sad yes life is very cruel and with birthing often people only hear about the healthy ones. OH friends wife was in labour at the weekend a week overdue and knew they were having a boy but he was born dead..we couldnt believe it..good pregnancy etc unexpected etc Anything to do with children is so tragic..humbling as always Keep strong for them you sound like pillars of support Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...