Chicken boarders

[Lesley]

Did anyone see the My Child Won't Speak programme last night?

 

My granddaughter's friend/neighbour is a selective mute - she will only speak to her mother or Lauren and is now home-schooled because of it. She doesn't even speak to her brothers.

 

We've always found it incredibly frustrating but watching the programme did help a lot. I never really understood what it must feel like for her

 

I hope a few more people understand now, after watching the programme, and it may just help a few sufferers.

[chickencam]

I am going to watch this on iplayer later, my Dad used to work with a man who's daughter was selective mute,she only really spoke to her parents and one close friend.

[bluekarin]

I watched this last night, only because I thought how on earth can a child just not talk. But it opened my eyes up and it must be incredibly frustrating, not only for the people who the child can't talk to, but for the child themselves. Thought the way Red and her grandad found a way to communicate was very sweet. And the other girl (can't remember her name - the 10 year old) was very brave.

[xScrunchee]

I didn't see this but will be watching it on iplayer.

Didn't even know it was on

 

Thank you

[Egluntyne]

Fascinating wasn't it. My daughter had a classmate who had this condition. The child called Megan reminded me so much of her.

[Chucky Mama]

It was very interesting. I would like to know the percentage of girls vs boys with the condition.

[WitchHazel]

I found this really interesting.

 

I met a selective mute girl at my friend's wedding. I spent ages playing and talking with her. She was creative in her communication, despite not speaking. She was a very bright, friendly, interesting child. Her brother was very outgoing, and I assumed (wrongly, I now realise) that it was her way of getting attention. The programme really touched me, because of meeting this little girl.

 

This was a few years ago, and I'd love to find out whether she is still the same.

[Lesley]

I thought Danielle's comments re not having boyfriends/getting married/having children were so sad

[Chickvic]

I've just watched this on i-player and I've had a tear in my eye

[Valkyrie]

My mum used to work with a lady who's niece never spoke for years. She went to speech therapy to try and find why she couldn't speak but nothing seemed to work - had lots of tests at the hospital, but they found her in perfect health. One day the family were sitting round the table having a conversation and generally ignored the child. Then they heard a very deep voice saying "picallili" - up until then she had doting big sisters that did everything for her - she never had the need to speak until that moment. I actually went to the same school (she was a few years older) and you would never imagine that she never spoke. She was also a very bright girl.

Perhaps the girl in the programme just hasn't found the right thing to trigger it off - and now she is old enough she probably has learnt how she can manipulate people without bothering to talk.

[Helly Welly]

I found it really interesting. I felt most sorry for the eldest girl, especially when she couldn't buy the chocolate bar or talk to her old friends. She's so determined though, i hope she finds that final breakthrough.

 

Red and her Grandad were lovely, he was so patient. I had a tear in my eye when Megan met her new teacher and said her name and age in front of everybdy, you could see in her face how chuffed she was that she managed it.

 

I think the programme will really change people's attitudes towards this condition, it was really well made.

[laurmurf]

hellymisscloud and I watched this together - she recognised those traits in herself. At 16 now, she is more confident although still dreads travelling on buses (won't ask for a ticket), going into shops and won't speak on the phone to anyone she doesn't know. She used to be much, much worse: wouldn't speak to anyone outside the immediate family, then to very close friends, and silent in class.

 

It looks like shyness, but it is actually more a combination of anxiety and stubbornness in her case. Time and a really good group of friends got her over the worst of it.

[The Dogmother]

hellymisscloud and I watched this together - she recognised those traits in herself. At 16 now, she is more confident although still dreads travelling on buses (won't ask for a ticket), going into shops and won't speak on the phone to anyone she doesn't know. She used to be much, much worse: wouldn't speak to anyone outside the immediate family, then to very close friends, and silent in class.

 

It looks like shyness, but it is actually more a combination of anxiety and stubbornness in her case. Time and a really good group of friends got her over the worst of it.

 

I would never have imagined it Laurie, hellymisscloud has always seemed so articulate to me, maybe a tad shy, but that's not unusual at that age. Well done to her for working through it.

[laurmurf]

some have also suggested she can never get a word in, but i don't know what they could possibly mean....

[The Dogmother]

couldn't possibly comment

[Helly Welly]

Although i'm nowhere near as bad, i did recognise some of myself in the programme. I won't talk to people on the phone and get very anxious in new situations. I force myself to confront it but some mornings i wake up really anxious if i know i'm going to be in an uncomfortable situation

 

I suppose mutism is a form of social anxiety, taken to the extreme. What a complicated world we live in.

[Egluntyne]

some have also suggested she can never get a word in, but i don't know what they could possibly mean....

 

 

Me neither.

[A chickychickychick-ENN!!]

I heart hellymisscloud!

 

What's the crux of this condition for those of us who don't have a spare hour? Is it social/emotional/behavioural/neurological?

[Cooks]

I missed the start but watched the rest, I thought it was really well done and certainly eye opening.

[Lavenders_Blue]

I'll be catching this on i-player later. I'm a speech therapist (working with adults so I don't come across this with my clients) but would love to find out more about it. I remember touching briefly on selective mutism in my training and learning that it is an incredibly complex disorder.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

I'll be watching this too - sounds really interesting.

[PurpleTree]

I watched it on iPlayer last night, it was very interesting. They were coming up with some very imaginative ways to communicate, must've been lovely for the grandad to have a voicemail from his granddaughter.

[Cooks]

yes that made me well up I have to admit.

[Lewis]

hellymisscloud and I watched this together - she recognised those traits in herself. At 16 now, she is more confident although still dreads travelling on buses (won't ask for a ticket), going into shops and won't speak on the phone to anyone she doesn't know. She used to be much, much worse: wouldn't speak to anyone outside the immediate family, then to very close friends, and silent in class.

 

It looks like shyness, but it is actually more a combination of anxiety and stubbornness in her case. Time and a really good group of friends got her over the worst of it.

 

I would never have imagined it Laurie, hellymisscloud has always seemed so articulate to me, maybe a tad shy, but that's not unusual at that age. Well done to her for working through it.

Snap

She seemed chatty enough - maybe thats because we were waffling about chickens

 

My friend is at Uni doing speech therapy and a couple of the teachers were talking about this at school.

Will have to iplayer it

[WitchHazel]

What's the crux of this condition for those of us who don't have a spare hour? Is it social/emotional/behavioural/neurological?

 

It's a phobia of speaking.

 

The sufferers may be able to speak to one of two specific individuals, but are unable to speak to other people, even other members of their family.

 

It's not just about a fear of speaking in front of a group (like in a class), it's much deeper than that.

 

it also gets worse with time, as it becomes harder and harder for the individual to start speaking, as everyone is so used to them not speaking. The older girl in the programme (I think she qas 14 or 16?) asked her parents to change her school, as she realised she would never be able to overcome it when her schoolmates had had years of her not speaking.