Ammonia smell in coop-first time owner

[Chicktastic]

Has anyone here been broody to the point of insanity????

 

It's driving me insane for the past 12 months I would love another baby and so would my partner. We have been together for 18 months and have a great relationship. We both have our own houses but he lives at mine 99% of the time. I adjusted my Tax Credits because although he doesn't contribute to the mortgage and bills (as he is paying his own) I can manage and would hate to get "shopped"

 

My 2 children adore my OH and DD (9) seems to play on my broodiness every day, begging for a brother or sister.

 

I am a childminder so in the perfect job to have a baby as I wouldn't need to think about any sort of childcare, I would be there like I was for my 2. I can think of reasons against having another ie. age gap between baby and my children who are now 9 and 8, baby would have to share a room with one of them, my business as far as maternity leave is concerned, logistics of a family of 5, money, my partner would be an older parent at 55 (he is slightly older than me, etc etc etc.......

 

BUT..........none of these reasons are making the ache for a baby subside!!!!

Edited July 30, 2010 by Guest

[Aunty e]

DO IT!

 

I am the wrong person to ask

[PurpleTree]

Yes, last year I was incredibly broody despite us agreeing that we wouldn't have anymore and getting rid of all the baby stuff.

 

I'm now expecting baby number 3

 

If you both want it, then go for it. Good luck whatever you decide.

[Chucky Mama]

I was broody until I had my YS who we had knowing that he was going to be the last. I have never felt that I wanted another baby after that because I had got my head around the fact before having him. I am tempted to say go for it but it needs to be something that you and OH agree on.

[The Dogmother]

I shan't be having any more, but still enjoy cuddling other peoples' babies. Not broody, just like babies.

 

A decision that will need some careful thought I feel.

[jlo]

I agree that it will be a tricky decision. I guess that I am lucky in that I have never really been into "babies." Even with my two I was much happier when they started to communicate with me. A ten day old niece came to visit the other day and I was more than happy to have a cuddle and then give her back!

 

If it is what you both want - go for it. My sister is over 10 years older than me and my brother over 8 years older than me. I was a mistake!! My siblings looked after me big time when they were in their teens which made it easier for my (by then) older parents. I had all the benefits of an only child combined with all the benefits of having brothers and sisters so I was quite happy that my parents made their mistake!!

[Chickendoodle]

My Oh is 13 years older than me and when we got together many years ago we both had 2 children and decided not to have any more for various reasons (5 would have been far too many, my girls were quite little and they hated going to their Dad's for the weekend and I thought they would feel worse if there was a baby left behind etc etc)

 

Only you can know if you want another one but has your OH thought what it would be like to be living with a teenager when he is in his 70's? Just a thought

 

I am now broody for grandchildren - my girls are 22 and 24 and I think I will have a bit of a wait yet!

 

Best wishes with whatever you decide

[Ziggy]

I don't think there is a wrong or right answer... I'd think that if you feel so strongly about having another baby, and your OH agrees with it, it's probably the right thing to do... I don't think anyone ever 'regrets' having a child... whereas it is possible to regret not having one...

We had planned to have two children, and I changed my mind to 3 the day after the first one was born... DH was a little surprised but cautiously agreed... until child number 2 was born and I said I wanted 4... he kind of wondered where all that would lead... then we decided to have number 3 and stop at that... I never felt fully convinced that was the right thing, and sure enough the decision was taken out of our hands and we had child number 4. I wouldn't call her a mistake, because there was no mistake (well we didn't make any mistakes anyway, but contraceptives aren't 100% reliable and she was due to the 'unreliable' bit)... it was a huge surprise obviously, and the age gap between her and my eldest is 9 years, and we've never looked back, can't imagine life without her (even when she is real pesky like last week )...

I've never stopped being broody... I would still have more babies but feel that with four healthy girls I cannot push my luck and keep asking for more, especially as OH is not getting any younger (neither am I unfortunately), and have to say I am really, really happy that number 4 came to be despite our decision to stop at number 3... It also makes me feel my wanting one more back then, was the right thing... if I could I'd keep going, as I love babies, toddlers, kids and teenagers... which usually is what babies become . I had a friend who liked babies, but admitted she wanted another one just for the sake of having another 'baby' to breastfeed and cuddle... she didn't particularly want another child... in that case I think it's better to stop.

 

I guess you just need to look at your reasons to want another baby, and if those reasons are fine to you, and the reasons not to have one can be easily overcome or sorted, then maybe that's the way to go...

 

Good luck whatever you decide

[patsylabrador]

Your body is telling you something, if you feel that strongly you should have another baby. I was like that, had my 3rd and 4th(twins) and have never felt broody again.

[chickencam]

We were in two minds about whether to have more after number two and deliberately chose a natural form of contraception for a while and that made the decision for us and along came number 3. I wasn't broody for a long time after we had her but as I have got older I have become more broody and it it hit crisis point when my OH's brother and his wife had our nephew last May.

 

We love him to bits but don't see him as much as we would like. I would not have any more and may be too old anyway, but it doesn't stop you thinking about it. I will wait on grandchildren now.

 

Do what you both feel is right. Do a pros and cons list that can help. For instance I love the extra freedon that both OH and myself have now that our brood are older.

[..lay a little egg for me]

I feel obliged to say...you may want another baby, but do you want another teenager? 'cos you can't have one without the other! That is what keeps me from indulging any broodiness anyway!

[jlo]

I feel obliged to say...you may want another baby, but do you want another teenager? 'cos you can't have one without the other! That is what keeps me from indulging any broodiness anyway!

 

 

Good point - they aren't babies for very long really are they!

[abwsco]

Dare I say get some more chickens instead

[Snowy]

I agree, no right or wrong answer (and you will probably follow your heart anyway ) But for what it's worth, there is 11 years between no 1 and no 2 (I always wanted another but it just never happened), then we went for no 3 and it happened straightaway! My OH was 55 when the youngest was born. Yes it's hard work, yes it's expensive, yes a family of five is three times the hassle of a family of four (why does everything come in 4's or 6's? )

But I wouldn't change a thing! It's wonderful

[Griffin]

As soon as daughter number three, Emily, arrived I wanted another. It wasn't just an idea in my head, I literally ached for another baby. It wasn't because I wanted to try for a boy after three girls, neither myself or OH cared about a lack of son & heir, I just needed to have one more baby to feel complete. I'd cry when I saw other babies or pregnant women, I wanted that to be me. It took nearly four years of constant nagging to get OH to agree I was very lucky in that I could get pregnant at the drop of a hat so before he changed his mind I had my way

 

Apart from feeling as sick as a dog for months I was deliriously happy, so excited throughout my pregnancy and couldn't wait to meet her. I had the most amazing homebirth When she was six months old OH had a vasectomy It was his decision, I didn't agree with it at all, I didn't feel broody at that time but I knew I would've been happy to have more in the future but he wasn't. I get the odd broody feeling here and there but it's nothing like it was before I had number four. If I didn't have her I know I would've regretted it for the rest of my life. I don't think intense broodiness like that goes away and forever you'll wonder what if or feel sad about it.

[patsylabrador]

It wasn't just an idea in my head, I literally ached for another baby.

It is the weirdest feeling isn't it. I thought I was the only one! Also I had this constant feeling that someone was missing and waiting for me.

[ladyjulian]

I don't think there is a wrong or right answer... I'd think that if you feel so strongly about having another baby, and your OH agrees with it, it's probably the right thing to do... I don't think anyone ever 'regrets' having a child... whereas it is possible to regret not having one...

 

Do people really not regret having a child, ever, or is it just that they don't express such a sentiment in public for fear of being branded an unloving monster?

 

Sorry, I've been reading "we need to talk about kevin." I'll just head back to my existential hole now...

[Snowy]

It wasn't just an idea in my head, I literally ached for another baby.

It is the weirdest feeling isn't it. I thought I was the only one! Also I had this constant feeling that someone was missing and waiting for me.

I agree - once I had number 3 the feeling completely went away! I often wondered if I should have tried for no 4, OH would have agreed, no problem, but the broodiness just wasn't there any more. We are complete

[whoopsie]

If you want another baby then have one. You're lucky that you can. I've got a feeling the only way to have kids for me is to do it totally alone - 22 years broody and counting

[Seagazer]

I had a girl and a boy and everyone kept telling me I didn't need any more as I had a pigeon pair then I went shopping one day with my mum and we went through a baby department and I burst into tears - I wanted a baby. We had moved and we had the room, phoned hubby and he agreed we could try.

 

DD was 10, DS was 6 nearly 7 when YS arrived. He's been a great child, very happy. He now has cool older brother and sister, they loved him to bits when he was younger although he and his brother don't get on all the time now. He loves it when his sister comes home from uni, they are quite similar.

 

I've sometimes wondered if he would have liked a younger brother or sister to play with but I have absolutely no broody feelings at all. Its nice for him in a way as he's almost like an only child in that he gets the most of our attention now as the others are 22 and 19.

 

I'm really, really glad that we had our 'extra' child

[theherd123]

Go for it!

 

Live life with no regrets.

[Space Chick]

I firmly believe that you only regret the things in life that you don't do.

 

However, I would advise you (as a former financial adviser ) to think about the impact on your retirement plans, as if you will be supporting another child for at least the next 21 years, that will make your OH late 70's.

[The Dogmother]

I would have loved more.. I wanted 3, but fate just never dealt me that hand My boobs literally used to ache for a new baby when I held a friend's newborn.

 

Rosie and I are complete though, and she has lots of friends so doesn't miss having siblings.

[Clur]

I had a similar feeling before we decided to have kids. There were 1001 reasons why it was sensible not to have kids - we were young(-ish, 27), lived in a dive of an area, and were always broke but we thought there would never really be a 'right' time to have kids and that we would just find a way to cope. I was so focuses on my broodiness I thought 'stuff everything else!

 

I wouldn't necessarily advocate this approach, as I had immense financial pressure to go back to work quickly - within 9 weeks - as the statutory maternity pay wouldn't cover much, and certainly not the new mortgage we'd had to take on to move to a better area BUT despite the stress at the time, it was definitely the best decision we ever made.

 

2 and a bit years later, I had the same yearning and fell pregnant with baby number two. 2 years later I had the same yearning and we.......got chickens! Hubby put his foot down and so I persuaded him we needed chickens to allay my broodiness. Was difficult as first but in hindsight I think it was totally right for us not to have any more. I don't feel any pangs on holding newborns and feelings of relief when I hand them back to their mums to handle the nappies

[Chucky Mama]

I tend to feel broody for a puppy these days rather than children. I still get a kick out of walking in and out of The Early Learning Centre without having to buy something or persuade a small child to leave without crying or throwing a wobbly