Friday funnies

The Dogmother · December 3, 2010

The Nightgown

The Sheer Nightgown....

A husband walks into Victoria's Secrets to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from £250 to £500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the £500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no fool), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow and keep the £500 refund for myself.'

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for £500, they'd at least iron it!'

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at noon.

Man

Man is a woman's best friend.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions

and give in to her most intimate desires.

He will make sure she always feels that she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait...... sorry....... I'm thinking of wine.

It’s wine that does all that.

Sorry.