Smart Door Power Options

[Guest]

I have just got in - who won the football.

 

Just read all the veggie box pages here - alls well that ends well.

 

Looks like you all sorted it out in the end

 

Night night x

[bronze]

Mrs Miss and MS are all versions of Mistress as Mr is of Mister and master

[Cinnamon]

The Hubby seems to think that a Ms is a divorced woman who no longer wants to use Mrs,but may (or may not) still be using her exs' surname

 

A man would of course still be a Mr & his surname would usually stay the same

[Sheilaz]

So, as I say, Ms. just didn't become established and now is completely misunderstood and has rather added to the problem. I hadn't even heard of that definition, Sarah, but I remember being surprised that my daughter didn't use it, & declared herself as Miss. I thought Ms would give equality but even in the '70's it was misunderstood as meaning that you were either gay or a women's lib extremist or both, it was hard for it to become established as an umbrella term for all women.

A man may simply use Mr. whereas a woman has to be categorised, the 3rd option was to avoid this, but now seems to be a loaded word on it's own.

 

Where's Germaine Greer when you need her? On 2nd thoughts...

[Looney]

OOh looks like I missed an interesting debate yesterday.

 

People sometimes question why I use Miss at work - I think they think Ms sounds more professional ( not sure why ).

 

What I struggle with is what to call my other half...can you still be a boyfriend when you're 31? I have referred to him as my partner, which is fine for me, but quite often people have assumed that because I said partner rather than boyfriend or husband I have a girlfriend...again this doesn't really worry me but they do look a bit surprised when they realise Ben is a bloke!

[AnnieP]

I call OH my partner too, even though we are married. "Husband" just somehow sounds like a posession to me.

 

Our bank addresses things along these lines:

 

A.P. and MRS A.R. Smith.

 

[Cinnamon]

Just remembered this.

Before we were married we lived together for 4 years & our bank had us as "BW ***** Esquire & Miss SL ******"

 

I did question them about tis & they said at the time that the Esquire bracket was used in the mans case for co habiting couples.

This was about 18 years ago,though!

They also didn't have him down as a Mr, just the initials then the Esquire thing

Edited May 20, 2007 by Guest

[Olly]

I don't mind using 'Ms' but "Ooops, word censored!"ody ever knows how to pronounce it. I used to be married, but never used my husband's name anyway, so I've been Miss B* all my life.

 

I used to work with a woman who was a Quaker, and she refused to use titles - even sending important letters from work - she would just address them to 'John Smith' and open them 'Dear John Smith'. Something to do with us all being equal in God's eyes. I like that approach!

 

I would have been annoyed with the veg-box scheme Jaime, not because it didn't have the right titles but because it assumed you were a couple anyway. We're all individuals, whether we live with someone or not. How do they know the organic veg aren't all for you, and that your OH isn't someone who wouldn't let a vegetable across his plate!

[Egluntyne]

I googled "Ms" and all I got were Microsoft or Multiple Sclerosis sites.

 

In my day job I write quite a few business letters, I often use the word Ms because it solves many ettiquette problems.

 

If you are writing to a woman called...for the sake of argument....Elizabeth Windsor... and you don't know if she is married or not....it is very useful to have the word Ms to hand....as Windsor may be her maiden name which she prefers to use professionally. She could in fact be Mrs Mountbatten or similar.

 

It saves you having to ring her secretary and ask....and it saves insulting an unmarried lady by calling her Mrs or a married lady by calling her Miss.

 

10 years ago it was considered by many to be very Andrea Dworkinish to use the word Ms....but now it is pretty mainstream.

[bronze]

What I hate as being known as Mrs (hisname) (surname)

Totally takes away my identity. Mrs Bronwen (surname) is a lot better

[Egluntyne]

The Wikipedia entry for the title "Ms" is interesting .....look here.....

[chocchick]

I agree with what Egluntine and Sheila have been saying about Ms.

I find "Miss" can sound a bit patronising, and "Ms" can be taken as a bit militant, but can be useful.

I get slightly flummoxed when asked if I am Mrs (OH's surname) but it feels strange to write "single" on a form as I'm not married despite being in a couple for 6 years.

I'm looking forward to using Dr when I eventually finish my PhD.

 

Maybe you could just customise the form to Mr or Mr and Mr with some crossing out

[craftyhunnypie]

Ooo do you know - this really annoys me. We are now living in the 21st century and still same sex couples are not truly accepted or catered for! They are still discriminated against and frowned upon. Grrrrrrrr!

 

They really should provide a title by which same sex couples can go by.

 

There I've had my moan now.

 

Emma.x

[gooner.girl]

What I hate as being known as Mrs (hisname) (surname)

Totally takes away my identity. Mrs Bronwen (surname) is a lot better

 

I'm with you on this!

 

I hate being called Mrs Mike ***** or Mr and Mrs M ***** on letters. It makes my blood boil!

 

TBH, I wouldn't have taken his surname if he had insisted and put his foot down! He said he was happy to take mine if i wanted when we got married (and i know he meant it) so i relented and took his (he knows how to play me! )

 

Would have been funny to see the look on MIL's face if he had taken mine though!

Edited May 21, 2007 by Guest

[Laura & CTB]

TBH, I wouldn't have taken his surname if he had insisted and put his foot down! He said he was happy to take mine if i wanted when we got married (and i know he meant it) so i relented and took his (he knows how to play me! )

 

Would have been funny to see the look on MIL's face if he had taken mine though!

 

Just found this thread and had to say that when OH and I got married I didn't want to lose my identity so we compromised - we are now a double barrelled surname ( and mine comes first)

[bronze]

The only thing with double barrelled names

 

If Jones marries Smith they become Jones-Smith and have a son. He then meets Miss Williams-Brown and they get married. Do they become Williams-Brown-Jones-Smith?

[Karen & co.]

The only thing with double barrelled names

 

If Jones marries Smith they become Jones-Smith and have a son. He then meets Miss Williams-Brown and they get married. Do they become Williams-Brown-Jones-Smith?

 

 

I'm double barrelled and so are the children, with my name first but OH is just his original name for ease really

 

karen x

[Puglet]

Ooo do you know - this really annoys me. We are now living in the 21st century and still same sex couples are not truly accepted or catered for! They are still discriminated against and frowned upon. Grrrrrrrr!

 

They really should provide a title by which same sex couples can go by.

 

There I've had my moan now.

 

Emma.x

 

When we need both our names we're classed as Messrs. Think female equivalent is Mesdammes.

[Cinnamon]

That seems like a reasonable solution Vince, & it sounds good too - sort of classic,if you like

[Lesley]

The Wikipedia entry for the title "Ms" is interesting .....look here.....

 

That is interesting - plenty to read there.

[theherd123]

I'm looking forward to using Dr when I eventually finish my PhD.

 

 

Oh i like it! Dr Chocchick!

[Snowy]

I'm looking forward to using Dr when I eventually finish my PhD.

 

 

Oh i like it! Dr Chocchick!

But I like to shorten things so I'm afraid it will have to be DocChoc.

[Egluntyne]

I'm looking forward to using Dr when I eventually finish my PhD.

 

 

Oh i like it! Dr Chocchick!

But I like to shorten things so I'm afraid it will have to be DocChoc.

 

That would suit Chocchick somehow!

[One Man Banned]

Gosh! This one ran for a while didn't it

 

Jaimie, I understand your point when doing the form - I use Riverford for my veg box and I thought it would be nice when they offered different Mr & Mrs etc options and looked for Mr & Mr but - suprise - it wasn't there - I ordered it in just my name instead - well done for pointing it out to them as it is unfair to have so many other combinations bar for one!

 

The biggie that gets me is the forms where you have to put "Single" - some forms at least have living with partner etc but I hate putting single when I have been happily in a relationship for 6 years!!

 

(Still, If I can convince Joe I might be able to put Married one day - although that's a while off!)

 

A

xx

[Guest]

It is really interesting hearing different points of view and I have enjoyed reading this highly recommended thread!

 

Because no-one else has said it, I would like to state that I am really proud to be 'Mrs John Smith' and to receive letter addressed to 'Mr & Mrs J Smith'. We are a couple and I am his wife and I really like that. I belong to him and he belongs to me.

 

When Ms was really being promoted in the 70s, I agree with Sheila that it carried a bit of 'militant female' reputation with it. But I think the sentiments are right. It is wrong that we cannot identify a man's marital status, but we can a woman's. In some professions, like teaching, Mr or Ms/Miss/Mrs are still used and some teachers may prefer to keep their marital status their private business.

 

My B-I-L was on the phone to an insurance company going through the usual questions. Age? - 40; Marital status? - single. The girl on the phone burst into laughter and when she had finished B-I-L asked her why she was laughing. Well she said, you don't get many men your age who aren't married.