scarlettohara Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 (edited) Doorbell rang, I thought it was the cupcake delivery man as it's the boy's 20th birthday tomorrow and they are going to Brighton for the weekend. Opened the door and there he was Haven't seen or spoken to him for 20 months (his choice) I recovered quickly and invited him in (he looks really old hurrah !). I was still in my dressing gown with unbrushed hair and teeth Told the boys he was here and they refused to see him (they haven't spoken to him since he left), so I told him I was try to get them to come down (they work in restaurants so late nights). Had a quick shower and put on my fat tummy hiding cargos and offered him a coffee which he refused, he had no interest in talking to me at all except to ask how many chickens I had - 'um a few' I said vaguely Freckles then came into the conservatory and crowed at him for 5 minutes then walked off in disgust . The boys wouldn't see him so he left looking really angry, my Mum says I deserve a medal after what he did to me, however I didn't feel a thing for him so it wasn't hard Edited June 14, 2011 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Hooray, well done you (Shame you couldn't have let his tyres down or similar while he wasn't looking though! ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 He must have hidden his brand new car round the corner - luckily my Mum's car which I borrow since he took mine back was on the drive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Crikey Sara, bit of a cheek turning up unannounced Well done you for keeping cool Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Well done you But what on earth did he want if he didn't really want to talk to you? And why does he want to know about your chickens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Ooo what a bottom! Good on you for keeping your cool! Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 He knew I had chickens but thought I had 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaireG Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Yay Sara, you have come a really long way keeping your cool like that Surely he must have realised the boys want nothing to do with him though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Good for you all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Attah girl - i would have left him on the doorstep in the rain and let his tyres down and syphoned the petrol out of his car and ..... revenge is sweet mwah mwah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 *mental note.............never upset Ali* Sha x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 I think the fact that he is having a rotten day is revenge enough atm I've certainly had a few of those thanks to him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 good grief - what exactly did he want im impressed at your reaction though, cool - calm - collected, i bet he didnt know what to do with himself cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Well done you, sounds like you handled it really well. I have to say it took years for me and my siblings to talk to my Dad after he left my Mum. My brother still won't put much effort into the relationship and thats nearly 26 years later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffy chick Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Crikey what a cheek! Good for you for being so polite and 'grown up' not sure I could have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 ..... and spat in his coffee. No it wouldnt achieve anything as he'd stay longer waiting for the RAC/AA to fix car. I think you did very well. (I can recommned cake tins as a good weapon - an ex boyfriend who left me for his flatmate (who he hated yeah right) dumped me and I threw a perfectly good cake tin at him. Missed by about 2inches. I saw him some years back on Tommorrows world - hadnt aged well But years later met OH who I love to bits. So chook and boo mum - i have a temper but I am a big softy really ) Well done Sara - I laughed at your chicken - she obviously felt he wasnt worth the bother Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Well done you - am very impressed. Personally I wouldn't have let him in either and I think he's got a darned cheek walking in and being nosey. But on the OTHER hand, he saw you being nice (offering coffee) looking good (fat tummy hiding cargos) AND trying your best to get his sons to talk to him, which they were having none of. So he has to go away knowing you are a) fine, b) better than fine and doing well, and c) that his kids still haven't forgiven him - and best of all, he can't blame or criticise you for any of it!! I have moments when I'm a really bitter ex I'm afraid so I'm VERY impressed that you kept your cool and handled it so well. Deserves a glass of something nice for you I think - they do say the best revenge is living well.... BeckyBoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowberry Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I can only agree with everything that Beckyboo says! I don't know if I'd have such restraint; actually, I know I wouldn't! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Well done you - am very impressed. Personally I wouldn't have let him in either and I think he's got a darned cheek walking in and being nosey. But on the OTHER hand, he saw you being nice (offering coffee) looking good (fat tummy hiding cargos) AND trying your best to get his sons to talk to him, which they were having none of. So he has to go away knowing you are a) fine, b) better than fine and doing well, and c) that his kids still haven't forgiven him - and best of all, he can't blame or criticise you for any of it!! I have moments when I'm a really bitter ex I'm afraid so I'm VERY impressed that you kept your cool and handled it so well. Deserves a glass of something nice for you I think - they do say the best revenge is living well.... BeckyBoo You have summed up how I feel about it He has turned me inside out in the past and there was no way he was doing that today Lots of hugs to you and anyone else going through this - is ain't easy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Proud of you honey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadietoo Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Wow, you handled that soooo well, and best of all you didn't let it hurt you...because going back down that old spite route actually doesn't let you get on with your life, whereas, today, he's left the poorer, and you dealt with it perfectly! However, it would still have been very tempting to pick up mobile phone, smile mysteriously and in a self satisfied way, before texting someone (ok improvise here) whilst he was trying to talk to you......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Well I knew it would come back on me Just had him shouting and ranting on the phone (I hung up) because our boiler is broken and irreparable (over 30 years old) and our plumber rang him (quite correctly) to ask what he wanted him to do ie go ahead with a new one. He is refusing to pay his half so that will mean another letter from my solicitor and more money that I don't have Quite honestly I wish he was dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
migsy Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 Well done for keeping cool when he arrived. I know what it is like to clear up the devastation someone leaves behind when they leave, especially when it ends up costing you a lot of money! I have been through all sorts of emotions - sadness, disbelief, anger and bitterness. Now I just think of my last ex as a totally inadequate human being and I could not care less about what happens to him. I'm certainly better off being the person I am than he is being him. I hope you sort your boiler out. If you are not yet divorced then just make sure you throw the cost of it into the settlement pot. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarlettohara Posted June 11, 2011 Author Share Posted June 11, 2011 Mum will help with boiler Have got an immersion heater so don't need to worry until colder weather anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyBoo Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 I've just had a run in with my ex too - asked him for some pocket money for the kids so we could afford to go to the fair and he peeled off 3 x £10 notes - so £10 each to spend on the fair! He hasn't given me maintenance for weeks and now owes me over £800 - when I tell you he's only supposed to pay me £46 a week you can see homw many weeks he hasn't paid! But do you know what, much as I was furious, and miserable, and bad tempered and upset by it this morning, in the grand scheme of things I don't really care. Because my life might be skint, and you might not be able to afford the boiler repair, and we might both be having to rely on family to help us out, but I don't know about you but my life is FANTASTIC compared to what it was like when we were together. I am broke by the 3rd of EVERY month, I can't afford ice creams when the van comes round, we eat out of Asda and Tesco basics, but I wouldn't swap it and go back, not for anything in the whole wide world. You're soooooo much better off as you are. These financial hiccups are merely that, hiccups. You have to be tested along the way so you recognise when things are great BeckyBoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
