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Cats and Chickens

Empty Nest

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My OH's little sister just left for uni, so his mum is coping very badly now they've both 'left home' - him I can understand as he splits his time between Bristol, here, and Reading, and Reading gets the least time of them all, but his sister is very very coddled, so I think she'll be back home a lot more than his mum realises.

 

He's feeling very guilty now though, as his mum cried on the phone last night when she mentioned they'd dropped his sister off to uni, he doesn't really know what to do. I've told him to be kind and forgiving if she's a bit uptight or upset, as it's a huge thing sending all your babies into the big wide world, and to take anything she says if she snaps at him with a pinch of salt.

 

I know when I have children the day I see they've all grown up will be hard.

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Yes....I've got used to DD being away at Uni, she goes back for her fourth year very soon, however, this year different as DS also going up in a couple of weeks...I can't say I'm looking forward to it, but I know from experience that life settles into its own pattern and all will be fine. I'm incredibly proud of them both, and pleased that they want to go out into the world, as it seems to me I've done my job !!

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Saying goodbye is horrible. Mine didn't go to university, he joined the army & we took him to harrogate. He was only 16 and 10 years later I still remember that day. We said our goodbyes at home and arranged that when parents were told to leave we would pat him on the shoulder and walk away. It worked, but was very hard, I was nearly done in by mums crying but it was a good strategy & came in useful at more difficult goodbyes. I still don't have an empty nest, can't get rid of them.

It probably sounds pathetic but you do feel heartache, they are part of you afterall.

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I feel your pain - my first born left two years ago for uni aged just 17. It was a very emotional time as she had a very uncertain start in life being born 7 weeks prematurely.

But she's now just starting third year and is nearly 20 and doing really well. We're very proud of her!

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Saying goodbye is horrible. Mine didn't go to university, he joined the army & we took him to harrogate. He was only 16 and 10 years later I still remember that day. We said our goodbyes at home and arranged that when parents were told to leave we would pat him on the shoulder and walk away. It worked, but was very hard, I was nearly done in by mums crying but it was a good strategy & came in useful at more difficult goodbyes. I still don't have an empty nest, can't get rid of them.

It probably sounds pathetic but you do feel heartache, they are part of you afterall.

 

Patsylabtador I understand just where your coming from I found DD going to uni hard but nothing compared with only DS joining RAF knowing if he got homesick or didn't like it he couldn't just leave I cried buckets leaving him at RAF Halton age 18 1/2 7 years on he is married with a baby and Currently serving in afghan and is part of a team keeping chinooks flying 24/7 as his flight is tasked with the evacuation and recovery of the injured from anywhere in afghan. Like you we are very very proud but have learned to do brave goodbyes :)

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My eldest goes away this weekend - I am dreading it already.

Even though I will still have her sister here,& she will eventually be back at weekends (not for a few weeks), I am going to miss her horribly.

We are very close & chat all the time,whereas her sister is still going through the teenage strops :roll:

 

The dining room looks like an Ikea warehouse at the moment, & I am thinking of digging out the top box for the car just to get it all down there!

The suitcase we found for her to take only fitted her shoes..........

With her coming home at weekends,we have had to double up on a lot of stuff so she doesn't have to lug it all home each weekend - off to buy a hairdryer today.

 

I am already planning smaller meals & am trying to empty the freezer a bit so that I can freeze portions when I cook to much,as my youngest is Veggie,so there will be only Hubby & I eating meat (should cut down the old food bills a bit though!)

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My DD leaves for Uni this Saturday and I'm dreading it :( I am so proud of her and pleased for her but I am going to miss her terribly. She is my best friend and great company and I will be desperately outnumbered by my OH and 3 boys :anxious::lol:

 

Just like Cinnamon, we have a steadily increasing pile of things in the dining room and on hearing what DD intends to take with her, I don't know how we will get it all in the car either and I'm talking about our people carrier, not my mini :roll:

 

Mealtimes will be different too because DD and I are veggie so I guess I'll have to learn to adjust portions, get ready meals or eat the same thing 2 nights running :think:

 

Lisa P

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My two have both gone to uni now AND I had to have one of my cats put to sleep yesterday. :( Vet thinks he may have had a brain tumour and he went blind overnight. Had to phone DD to tell her (we'd only dropped her off for her 2nd year at uni on Sunday). Felt dreadful. She sobbed down the phone and I couldn't give her a hug. Fortunately she made some good friends at uni last year and she sought some of them out to console her.

 

DS is an old hand now and starting year 3 (it does get better when you send them away - I promise!).

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Oh how I agree with all posted her thus far :? My ES graduated last year and has been living at home and working since then. He has now applied to Sandhurst, so we await that next phase with some trepidation (mainly me) but excitement too for this next phase of his life. If he gets in I know he will love it. We watched the Sandhurst programme on TV last night- the family- even grandparents. In fact my mum then rang up to say she was working on his next 'box' which I think means iron and ironing-board from last night's programme :D We took YS to uni (Birmingham) on Sunday - so not too far away. I just about held it together but then cried most of the way back. He was very excited, especially when my folks arrived with his 'stuff'!! My mum and dad only have my two boys as grandchildren and so invest a lot of time and energy and finance in them - for which I am eternally grateful. YS said he had been looking forward to uni since his nan first started appearing with food parcels and goodie boxes for ES four years ago!

I have very mixed feelings about my imminent empty nest, although I am extremely proud of the boys that I am 'setting free'. Deep down what worries me most is that many people say that your daughters are always yours but your sons become other peoples :cry: I hope this is not true but I am happy to share and gain a daughter or two in return :D

Another one of my rambles I'm afraid.

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Poor little chap :( . At least it wasn't prolonged.

 

We got a text from ES this evening saying "I made the BEST curry :-) ". Bless him, he's realised that if you want to eat well you have to learn how to cook - we sent him off with some spices and instructions for making his own curry (and a couple of chicken breasts - he now realises how expensive chicken is but won't buy non-freerange 8) ).

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Its strange seeing this from the other POV.

Can't believe it was only a year ago that I went to Uni, seems like a few weeks and then on the other hand like I've been there forever!

 

Me + Nat (brother) went up to the house in Aber on Sunday to take some stuff up and then spent most of Monday building a desk, putting up shelves and buying door handles :lol:

Feels really grown up to have a house rather than halls, move in properly this weekend :D

(Will be back the weekend after to go to work and for a show though! :lol: )

 

My brother will hopefully be going to Uni next year so then they'll have an 'empty nest'.

Sure I'll be home after Uni ... don't think I'll be able to afford to get a house anyway!

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Just to say to the empty nesters - you never know they may come back. My DD's best friend moved out last year to live with her boyfriend, they've both just moved back in with her mum to save some money to go travelling. Her brother had also moved out previously but has also moved back home. So she has all her children back again plus one extra. :D

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Cinnamon you are not the only one, I couldn't even post on here yesterday because I couldn't stop blubbing for long enough :(

 

We took our daughter to Uni in Sussex yesterday. She actually started crying Friday afternoon on and off and that started me and although we said we weren't going to cry yesterday we just couldn't help it and even OH had tears in his eyes as we left :roll:

 

Anyway I emailed her this morning and she is fine and having a good time 8) In reality I knew she would be but it was such a worry. We're hoping to go and visit her in a couple of weeks time which will be great.

 

Lisa P

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