Cinnamon Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I hope this is not going to make me sound like a wimp or a crybaby but...............a woman at work keeps punching me HARD on my upper arm, leaving bruises. She always does it sort of jokingly,but she is known to be a nasty piece of work generally, & she is really quite terrifying. I have to work closely with her...she is on the same staffing level as I am. Last week she slapped me on my arm really hard - I still had a red hand print 40mins later. I said to her...'ow, that hurt!' & she said....'if you cry I will just do it again & harder' She also has a habit of turning around from her til & digging you hard in the ribs while you are trying to work, or undoing your apron. She does all of these things to everyone, but the hitting in particular is getting worse. Now, I am all for playful banter at work, but I think there is real menace in what she is doing & what she is saying. Another staff member has already complained about her slapping her on the bum! I know some of you will say that I have to tell her to stop, be forceful, show her she is a bully & so on, but that is SO not my style. I am totally non-confrontational & she is truly terrifying (she has no humour in her at all, has a harsh Scottish accent & really plays up her position as Queen Bee, which is what she thinks she is. She isn't!) Mu Husband says I should speak to my manager, but I don't want to come across as a tittle tattle. I probably should though, shouldn't I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space Chick Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I know these types of people I used to work with one, and also ended up with bruises. They rely on a "friendly intimidation" thinking that as they make it a joke they can get away with it. In my situation, I told my manager to speak to her, as violence in the work place was not acceptable, and if she didn't deal with it I would go to the union. When the woman did it again, I told her if she touched me again, I'd press charges! She then stopped However, she's still doing it to others. These nasty bullies need dealing with, you have to stop them Sarah. Good luck x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Sarah, you need to tell your manager. if this was one of your girls how would you react...? so, thats how you should act. a few of you need to get together and stop it. what if she did it to someone and broke an arm? what if she did it to someone who punched her back and caused some serious damage (you know what she is like it could seriously escalate - badly) ((hugs)) Cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) What a horrible situation to find yourself in . I'm like you, I'd hate any sort of confrontation, but you really have to stop this nasty piece of work from basically abusing you I wonder if it would work turning round next time she does it and saying loudly, "every time you hit me I end up with a bruise - you have to stop doing it or I'll have to tell management". Threatening to press charges also sounds like good advice. Failing that, hit her back - harder . Edited July 8, 2014 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I can only echo what others have said - I really do feel for you though. Ideally, it would be good if some of your colleagues would agree to meet together with your manager so that s/he is aware that it isn't an isolated/one-off incident - not that it would be any more acceptable if it was. Your employers have a duty to provide a safe place for you to work - I am certain they would rather you speak up now so they can sort it out than find themselves on the wrong side of an employment tribunal if a member of staff feels forced to leave because of the "bullying". Do you have an immediate supervisor who might be easier to talk to than an overall manager? Good luck and keep us posted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Totally unacceptable. I would speak to your manager. i'd get your union rep involved if you have one. Next time she does it, take photos of any bruises. It is assault, plain and simple, and you are clearly feeling intimidated by her. There must be a bullying policy in a company like the one you work for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beantree Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Quite clearly this is 'assault causing actual bodily harm' and criminal charges should follow. I am not over-reacting here. Speak to your Union rep. and if you fail to get a response just file charges at the police station. You will need witnesses and photographs of the injury, better still a doctor's report. Without doubt she should be sacked immediately, which is the consequence of any assault in every Company I have ever worked at!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitchHazel Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) You should definitely say something Sarah. either to her or to your line manager. To her, if you can (and I know you might not be able to) you should say "look, I know you are only kidding when you punch, but do you realise that it actually hurts and you are leaving a bruise. Please don't do it". (Practice saying this out loud first, not just saying it in your head, practice saying the words. That way, they will come out as you mean them to when the situation arises). If it's really not possible for you to tackle it yourself, then you should talk to your line manager. I disagree about trying to get several people together to complain though. This may backfire. My personal opinion is that it is better for *you* to talk to your line manager about how it is affecting *you*. If you feel awkward, you can preface it y saying you feel really silly haing to talk to her about this, and you feel like you are in kindergarten. Then state the facts as they relate to *you*. Explain that she punches *you* hard, you know she "probably doesn't mean it", you've tried to say something (including "ow", and saying that it's left a mark) but are finding it difficult to get the behaviour to change. Do not say that other people feel the same, that she does it to others, etc. Keep this to how it affects you. On no account be tempted to hit this woman back. You could be dismissed for doing so. Edited July 8, 2014 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonne Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 You must speak to your manager, if other people have been affected, you should encourage them to do the same separately, but each person can only speak for themselves. Ensure the meting is recorded and request a follow-up. It will not be an easy thing for your manager to deal with, but that is their problem. Absolutely do not hit her back ! As someone else said, imagine how you would feel if this was happening to your daughters and older staff did nothing ! This is totally unacceptable in the workplace or anywhere else ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I agree with all the very sound advice already given; this is assault plain and simple and she is a bully. Please speak to your line manager or,if you feel that you simply can;t, put it in writing, sticking to the facts and giving as much details as poss (times, frequency, anything said etc) and keep a copy, However, I am sure that, once you make the initial approach to your manager it won't be nearly as hard as you imagine. If it has happened to someone else who has already complained perhaps this person could accompany you? I cannot imagine JL putting up with this; you are in a very strong position with right on your side. Good luck; sending lots of support! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillybettybabs Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I agree that you should say something, It also sounds likes she needs some counseling. A female slapping in the work place is very odd, i wounder if there is an underline cause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I am much like you Sarah, and wouldn't want to say anything. But she is clearly making your life unhappy, and probably there is tension. I know how much of love your job, so don't let her ruin it. I agree with what Witchhazel said. It's about what she does to you and how it makes you feel. Good luck and I do hope this is sorted out soon x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I totally agree with the sterling advice above - act soon and speak to management... HR if it helps rather than talking to your line manager. You can do it..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lavenders_Blue Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 WitchHazel's advice is excellent. Please do talk to your line manager. It is bullying, plain and simple, and it needs to be stopped. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickendoodle Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 I totally agree, you need to report her to the line manager. Is there by any chance CCTV where you work as this might have picked up something. This is unacceptable and I would think grounds for immediate dismissal in most jobs. I am like you and hate confrontation and would feel dreadful if my actions resulted in her dismissal. BUT it would not be your actions that caused it, it would be hers. Plain and simple. She obviously has a problem but you absolutely do not have to suffer because of it. If it was a man punching you you would probably not have the same qualms in reporting him for assault Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 I think it would be better for you to have a quiet work with your manager, maybe put it in terms of asking if you could be placed so you're not on adjoining tills as you find her slapping you and digging in the ribs disturbing and that her behaviour is embarrassing in front of customers. I'd suggest not going to HR yet because as soon as you do it becomes official and even if they get rid of her they may not be pleased with you for raising it officially. ..would feel dreadful if my actions resulted in her dismissal. BUT it would not be your actions that caused it, it would be hers. These are very sound words by Chickendoodle You said someone else had complained about her slapping them on the bottom, who did they complain to and how was that handled ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted July 9, 2014 Author Share Posted July 9, 2014 I have decided to have a quiet, non official chat with my line manager next week, just to let him know what is happening & how it is. I am going to ask him not to intervene just yet, but just to be aware. Then, if it happens again I shall be firm with her & we shall see how it goes. One huge difficulty is the nature of my work....I can't simply get up & go elsewhere & there are always customers around so whatever I do say I will need to say with them in mind too. I also can't always get to speak to my manager either....it is really tricky. I was told about the other persons problem with her in confidence, so can't really bring that up. Thanks for all your support. Will keep you posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 So glad that you have decided to raise this with your manager; you have right on your side! In the interim, you could try saying 'ow' really loudly if she does it again -I wouldn't worry about it being in front of customers....I wouldn't mind if I was at your till. It would only show her up, which may help! Do let us know how it goes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted July 9, 2014 Author Share Posted July 9, 2014 Tried that - she seems to think its funny As I said, nasty piece of work (pop in & I will point her out!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 If she assaults you whilst you are at your till, will it not be visible on CCTV? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted July 9, 2014 Author Share Posted July 9, 2014 Well yes, I guess it would, but I am really aware of it not actually looking like an assault to a camera - I think it may be thought that I am making a mountain out of a molehill However, I will note times & dates from now on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Well yes, I guess it would, but I am really aware of it not actually looking like an assault to a camera - I think it may be thought that I am making a mountain out of a molehill However, I will note times & dates from now on. Does anyone else at work do this? Tap you, however lightly, in any way? I am guessing not. You are not making a mountain out of a molehill. It is assault and you need to feel happy about coming into work and not have to worry about what she might do. I wish I lived closer as I would love to see what she looks like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 (edited) Sarah, please be assured the you are IN NO WAY (sorry to shout ) making a mountain out of a molehill. Tho we have never met (I will really try and get into say hello over the summer, having already missed you several times ) you seem a very level headed, sensible, balanced person. The mere fact that you feel the need to post about it on here makes it obvious that it is really getting to you and therefore needs to be addressed one way or another. I am sure that your manager will be able to address things - after all, what you don't know is how many others have spoken about it, in confidence If possible, can you get digi pics of any resultant bruising etc to accompany your log of incidences? Remember, we are all behind you!!! Next time (if there is one) tell her you'll set the Omleteers on her Edited July 9, 2014 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Companies typically have defined process specifying the circumstance where CCTV footage can be used and how long it's kept for (some countries it can only be kept for a few hours). So a diary and photos is a good idea but it's unlikely they will let the CCTV footage be used unless it is requested by the police and if it's long enough there may not still be CCTV footage available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Frankly I think you are marvellous for putting up with it for so long. My upper arms (quite meaty not skinny sadly) bruise like a peach and as I get older if accidently knocked or one of the kids is rough it hurts like hell. I dont think I could control my temper if it kept happening. She reminds me of a girl I trained with who was always putting her arm round you which I found weird. She also hung round the wash area in the nurses home and one night i was washing and just knew someone was in there as the hairs on my neck were up. I flung back curtain and screamed at her. She wasnt a bully but invaded my space and that of other girls - we all found her creepy. It was very unpleasant. This woman deserves to lose her job I bet she doesnt punch the supervisors or managers. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
