jomaxsmith Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 Send for a Vindaloo tonight. I've heard that midwives are not in favour of that method of induction! Rhapsody's method worked for both of mine but I have to say it was a chore rather than an indulgence Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popcorn Posted November 2, 2007 Share Posted November 2, 2007 Off to clean the chooks out now and spend some time in the garden with them as the weather is so fab! Hope you enjoyed your day Vicki, and it took your mind of things. These last few eeks seem longer than the whole other 8 months of the pregnancy don't they. Keeping everything crossed that things get moving soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 3, 2007 Share Posted November 3, 2007 When Owen decided to hang on in there, passed his due date, I went to the pictures alone, as we figured that my waters would be far more likely to break at an inopportune moment than at a convenient time. My waters broke later that night, once I got home.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris70 Posted November 4, 2007 Author Share Posted November 4, 2007 well still here - thinking maybe the fireworks may bring he/she out - of not he/she is scared and staying put! Thanks to everyone - definitly fingers crossed things will start moving soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Oh dear Boris Hang on in there & try and get some sleep im sure when he/she arrives it will all be worth it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xScrunchee Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Good luck - it's all terribly exciting and if I didn't remind myself just how hideous three year old boys can be I would be getting very broody!Jo Ooo, I've got one of those too. Well, he's 3 at the end of January and right now he is a little !! Hard work from morning till night. Love him though-when he's not making me want to pull my hair out and cave my own head in with a sledge hammer he is a right little comedian! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Good luck - it's all terribly exciting and if I didn't remind myself just how hideous three year old boys can be I would be getting very broody!Jo Ooo, I've got one of those too. Well, he's 3 at the end of January and right now he is a little !! Hard work from morning till night. Love him though-when he's not making me want to pull my hair out and cave my own head in with a sledge hammer he is a right little comedian! Oh it's so good to hear about every else's monster 3 year olds! Mine's a little angel when he's asleep. The rest of the time he's a one child demolition expert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Boris - ignore the previous posts, save them to read again in 3 years time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jomaxsmith Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Ooo, I've got one of those too.Well, he's 3 at the end of January and right now he is a little !! Hard work from morning till night. Bad news for you - mine's 4 in January and he's still evil. I could audio tape his whinging and sell it for use in torture chambers. His brother is 5 1/2 and I wish I could say they get easier as they get older..... Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jomaxsmith Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Good luck - it's all terribly exciting and if I didn't remind myself just how hideous three year old boys can be I would be getting very broody!Jo Ooo, I've got one of those too. Well, he's 3 at the end of January and right now he is a little !! Hard work from morning till night. Love him though-when he's not making me want to pull my hair out and cave my own head in with a sledge hammer he is a right little comedian! Oh it's so good to hear about every else's monster 3 year olds! Mine's a little angel when he's asleep. The rest of the time he's a one child demolition expert I have to say that my 3 year old is one of the reasons why we've decided to have chickens instead of more babies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Bear with this one, it's long, but worth reading: If you are thinking of expanding the familySome of you have already taken the step, but for others, there is still time for the tests... Follow these 15 simple tests before you decide to have children. . . Test 1 Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months remove 10% of the beans. Men: To prepare for paternity, go to local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time. Test 2 Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers. Test 3 To discover how the nights will feel . . . 1) Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4-6kg, with a radio tuned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. 2) At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep. 3) Get up at 12pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am 4) Set the alarm for 3am. 5) As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea. 6) Go to bed at 2. 45am. 7) Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off Sing songs in the dark until 4 am. 9) Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off 10) Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful. Test 4 Dressing small children is not as easy at it seems. 1) Buy a live octopus and a string bag. 2) Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning. Test 5 Forget the BMW and buy a practical 5-door saloon. And don t think that you can leave it out on the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that. 1) Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. 2) Get a coin. Insert it in the cassette player. 3) Take a family size package of chocolate biscuits, mash them into the back seat. 4) Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. . perfect! Test 6 Get ready to go out. 1) Wait 2) Go out the front door. 3) Come in again. 4) Go out. 5) Come back in. 6) Go out again. 7) Walk down the front path/driveway. Walk back up it. 9) Walk down it again. 10) Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes. 11) Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way. 12) Retrace your steps. 13) Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you. 14) Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk. Test 7 Repeat everything you say at least 5 times. Test 8 Go the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is excellent). If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your weeks groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children. Test 9 1) Hollow out a melon. 2) Make a small hole in the side. 3) Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it from side to side 4) Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. 5) Continue until half the cornflakes are gone. 6) Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old child. Test 10 Learn the names of every character from the Fimbles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five years. Test 11 Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look ? Test 12 Make a recording of Janet Street-Porter shouting "Mummy" repeatedly. Important: No more than a four second delay between each "Mummy " - occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler. Test 13 Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continuously tug on your skirt hem/shirt sleeve/elbow while playing the "Mummy" tape made from Test 12 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room. Test 14 Put on your finest work attire. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting. Now: 1) Take a cup of cream, and put 1 cup lemon juice in it. 2) Stir. 3) Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture. 4) Attempt to clean your shirt with the saturated towel. 5) Do NOT change. You have no time. 6) Go directly to work. Test 15 Go for a drive, but first. . . . 1) Find one large tomcat and six pit bulls. 2) Borrow a child safety seat and put it in the back seat of your car. 3) Put the pit bulls in the front seat of your car. 4) While holding something fragile or delicate, strap the cat into the child seat. 5) For the really adventurous. . . . Run some errands, remove and replace the cat at each stop. You are now ready to have kids! Had me in hysterics, but oh so true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Parent-hood described My youngest is 9 next week and can still winge and have tantrums Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 My youngest is 9 next week and can still winge and have tantrums My Youngest was 18 last month and can still whinge and have tantrums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 ....and guess what?! ............my 33 year old still whinges and has tantrums!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackrocksrock Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 LOL I was thinking the same thing and mine are 33 and 30! Do they ever grow up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjules Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Claret, that is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!! I take it you're still here then Boris? I'm sure it will be soon. Good luck!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Very funny - and so true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovemychooks Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Ha ha ha, brilliant !! I'll have to forward this on to my uncle who is having his first child which is due on 11th December so i'm going to forward this to him. Thank you !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicki9 Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 That was hilarious. At present I am camped out in PC room with the door shut, humming quietly, whilst kids terrorise each other and destroy the living room. Happy Days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missuscluck Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Thats so funny, I love this forum, you really cheer me up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Where's Boris??? Has she popped yet? Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theherd123 Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 I was just thinking the same thing! Push! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 She's either pushing or panting cos the vindaloo she's just ate is too hot! Fingers crossed for her eh? Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 Come on Boris! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted November 5, 2007 Share Posted November 5, 2007 She must be in labour - there's no sign of her! Woohooo!!!! You know when a chicken lays an egg, we all do the egg dance??? Well what dance do you do when you lay a baby?? Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
