Tessa the Duchess Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Oh how worrying Poet, my thoughts and good vibes are with you. Tessa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 So sorry Poet. Hoping for the best for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rona Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 So sorry to hear he's not doing so well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little chickadee Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Thinking of you and yours Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Everything crossed for you Poet . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfamily Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 so sorry to hear that Justine :( sending lots of positive thoughts and (((big hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 thank you so much for your messages, I don't need to tell you how much it means. Just got back now, he's got all sorts of drips and tubes in him and he's on a ventilator but he's stable. They've sucked some of the yuck off his chest and he's heavily sedated but he seems to have a good colour in his face, his chest isn't rattling like it was and despite being sedated, he squeezed our hands so he seems to know we're there. He has a nurse at the end of his bed 24/7 and I don't think he could be in better hands. I just wish they'd put him in ICU earlier as we knew his chest wasn't right. He's on high strength anti bios, something for his BP and other stuff I can't remember what it was. The nurse with him was absolutely lovely, she was asking me about the girls as she's just bought a bungalow with a large plot of land and wants to keep chickens and grow her own fruit and veg etc. She gave me her e-mail address as she wants to read my blog and see pics of our girls and I'm taking her some eggs on Thursday when she's next on shift. Just a waiting game now I s'pose. My dad's strong so I'm very hopeful, especially when I saw the care he was getting but it's quite distressing seeing him hooked up to all that gubbins He's got a shunt in his neck which looks a bit ouch, thank god he's out for the count! Mum's terribly worried but I think I've managed to calm her down by stating all the positives I've mentioned above. well, going to have some tea now and will keep you posted. Ian's letting the girls out in the morning so I can have a lie in as have to be back at the hospital earlier than normal as visitng hours are different in ICU. take care, thanks again. xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fur 'n' Feathers Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Just caught up with this Poet. So sorry this has happened. You've got our prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Glad you're managing to find postives in this situation - it must be very hard to see him so poorly. Hope things improve very soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riane Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Sending lots of thought and a prayer for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenlass Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Hope you manage to get a good nights sleep tonight knowing that your father is in good hands. Make sure you take advantage of that little bit of a lie in tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missuscluck Posted April 15, 2008 Share Posted April 15, 2008 Justine, sending love and hugs to you.xxxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Ian rang last night at 10.30pm and was told that just because dad's in ICU it doesn't mean we should worry (that was by the nurse who was looking after him). Now been told he's got post op pneumonia and his heart is "playing games"!??? Had to ask exactly what that meant and was told he has chronic atrial fib. The consultant also said that 50% of patients that come into ICU die, he went on to explain that that meant for every 10 patients that come in, 5 die. I said that I knew what 50% meant! I found him a bit patronising TBH but then maybe he's used to speaking to less educated people He's now got mum thinking that dad has a 50/50 chance when what he was doing was generalising about ICU patients. I know they're only human but they could pick their words more carefully! Dad is seriously ill but I still believe he's going to be okay but I am annoyed with some of the staff who say stuff like the above. Sometimes I think it's better not to ask questions!!! When we got there dad had had a tracheotomy and there was no nurse by his bed so it was a bit of a shock as "Ooops, word censored!"ody had told us he was having it, info is sporadic to say the least! Mum's of the opinion that we should just let them get on with it and not ask questions. I keep trying to tell myself he's in the best place but he just seems to get sicker and "Ooops, word censored!"ody is telling us what's going on unless I ask, but when I ask, mum gets upset because she says she doesn't want to know and she says I'm being aggressive with the staff but I'm not. I am a very forthright and direct person and just want answers!??? Mum keeps apologising for bothering the nurses and apologising for my dad even being there and I keep telling her to stop apologising as she's got nothing to apologise for! I'm very upset and when I get upset I tend to get angry (not at the staff I hasten to add, but when we get on our own) rather than cry so I'm not going tonight because I'm upsetting mum by being angry and I need a break so Ian's taking her tonight instead. I feel guilty for not being there but I think I'd make things worse if I was because, as I say, I'm feeling a bit 'end of tetherish' at the moment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 I feel for you, in every way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Oh Justine, I'm so sorry. You do sound like it's all getting a bit much . It must have been upsetting that your Dad had a tracheotomy without your knowledge . It's tricky that you and your Mum deal with things differently but hopefully you'll find a way to meet each other somewhere in the middle. Medical staff do sometimes say things which sound harsh don't they, but they probably have no idea how what they're saying comes across to a lay person . I hope things pick up for your poor Dad and I'm glad you're having a night off visiting. You really do need to do that, however guilty you feel. (I didn't visit Dad today, but went for a coffee with friends .) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Egluntyne Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 You need a night off Poet. It is common practice btw to perform a tracheostomy when the patient has been ventilated for 48 hours or so and is likely to need it for longer, so try not to see that as a setback, but as normal management. All the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 You really do need a night off - try to take the time to recharge your batteries Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 my sister still lives in Leeds at the moment and every time mum calls her with an update, she's in tears down the phone and that in turn upsets mum. I've tried to talk her (my sis) into speaking to her GP and getting a sick note and coming and staying with us so she'd be nearby and she could also give us some moral support and help out with the visiting etc. She wouldn't entertain the idea as she said her employer wouldn't believe her and she said "I'm not that type of person" whatever that means!? I've said to her that I'm sure if she told her employer that dad had bowel cancer (btw I found out the tumour was malignant not benign), was gravely ill in ICU etc then I'm sure she could get some time off but no go, she won't hear of it! As dad is going down hill, I thought I'd try again but this time speak to her boyfriend to see if he could persuade her as she won't listen to me. I told him what we'd been told today and about dad's heart etc and asked him if he could try and talk sis into taking some time off and coming to stay with mum. I asked him not to let mum know I'd had a word with him as that would only upset mum and I thought it might be better coming from him as I don't want my sister to get upset as that would probably start me off too. I just think that if the worst happened (god forbid it doesn't) that she'd regret not taking a bit of time off to be with her family. Didn't quite get the reaction I expected! He said they're only at the end of the phone and if anything happened they could be there in a cple of hours and I've put him in an awkward position as he and my sister "don't keep secrets from each other". I wasn't asking him to keep secrets, just to try and persuade her to come home for a bit as I thought he might be able to change her mind whereas she won't listen to me. If it was me, I'd want to be with my family come hell or high water and I can't understand her reaction. Surely family are more important than work, in these circumstances anyway. I hope I haven't caused any problems, I was doing what I thought best for everyone, just goes to show you doesn't it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddie Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 welcome to my world of last year.. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's so awful, and no-one can make it any better. I felt that I just wasn't "old" enough to be dealing with it, but i did, and so will you. You will find an inner strength you never knew you had, and whatever the outcome, dont beat yrself up. You(underline that word) have done the best you can, and what you feel is the right path. You are strong and brave, and desperately tired. I honour you yr courage to continue, and know that you will. Brave woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Oh Justine, I hadn't got round to reading this thread for a little while, I'm so sorry to hear things are not going well... I hope things look up very, very soon, you're all having a very difficult time, try to not get too worried about being angry, everybody can get edgy in such circumstances, take a bit of time to calm down whenever it happens, and just hang in there... members of a family can have very different ways to react to a crisis and that too can get really difficult to deal with... Sending you and your family all my best wishes, may your dad get better very soon, and may you all keep patient and positive through it all... Big hugs.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 thank you xxxx just heard from mum (Ian and her are on the way home) and apparently he's making good progress now and they're thinking of reducing his sedation and gradually trying to bring him off the ventilator and get him to breathe on his own. Obviously this is brilliant news but I'm scared he'll take another turn. I don't know how to feel at the moment, I'm so confused Talk about a rollercoaster, blimey! think it's time for a whisky, sorry to keep going on. xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joojoo Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Go and get that whisky. THEN... when you've had that one, pour another you deserve them!! Positive news about your Dad. Fingers crossed this is the turning point for you all. Lots of Love & Hugs xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggy Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 I don't blame you about the whiskey... might join you actually... It's wonderful to hear there is some positive news... it is scary, when a loved one is struggling with health, how things go up and down, and each good news makes the heart leap then fear for things to come... but good news aren't necessarily followed by bad ones, so keep smiling and hope for the best... Fingers crossed here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Ziggy is right - downs don't always follow ups - sometimes things just stabilise. I hope you have some good news today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenlass Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Thinking about you Justine...fingers crossed Dad is still improving today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
