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I met this guy - how do I NOT sound like a stalker?

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I met this REALLY lovely guy today and I liked him a lot and felt there was a bit of a spark. It was kinda hard to really talk to him where I met him and I thought he was single but I wasn't sure.

 

When I got home I found him on Facebook (he was a member of a group for the place where I met him - how lucky was that!!) Not only is he listed as single, he is the same age as me, has a son the same age as James, has the same taste in politics and music too. So I added him as a friend and typed a friendly little note. He accepted the add but no note back! So I'm kinda thinking if I send a note now I'll sound a bit too keen and stalkerish.

 

Should I wait until he has a status or picture that I can comment on to try and get a dialogue going? Or should I send him some sort of message which just seems VERY forward to me.

 

Now I know all of my facebook buddies will have him looked up in a flash now - his profile is open - thats how I found out so much about him before the add! I'm just in a quandry as I don't really seem to get the whole dating thing.

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shall I send him a message and say 'my friend fancies you' ;):lol:

 

I'd send him a message saying how lovely it was to meet him, you enjoyed chatting with him and would he like to do it again sometime?

 

That way you're not being too full on but you want to know where you stand, right?

 

It's easy to miss a note attached to an add request so send him a proper message, go for it!

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The fact that you looked him up on facebook shows you are thinking about him and he may be asking himself why you did that, I would take Poet's advice and send a casual message to follow that up gently.

 

 

In fact I am going straight to Poet if I ever need dating advice in the future!

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Well I still can't pluck up the courage to send a message but he's just posted a status change that I can easily comment on. I'm also going to post an item that should invite a comment from him as he lists his religion as "Paul Weller..." and of course this time last week I was at a Paul Weller concert!

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:lol: Oh go for it :!:

 

What have you got to lose :?: I don't know how old you are......but why waste time :?:

 

'If only' .............wonderful words in hindsight :!:

 

Lots a luck....

 

Jackiex

If you want a guys perspective, I agree with Jackie. Go for it :!: If I were him, I would be touched and flattered. :D

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How exciting :D . I'd go for it :D (after a lot of anguished dithering just like you :wink: ).

 

Not wishing to hijack your thread :oops: but my best friend is going on a date today with someone she met on a dating website :anxious: . I advised her to take things reeeaally slowly but she hasn't :roll: . However, he seems genuine and - how's this for a coincidence? - he works at my OH's company :shock: . He's going to check him out tomorrow!

 

(Some of you may remember me posting about the difficult time she was having with her marriage earlier this year. Well, you can draw your own conclusions!)

 

Sorry, Pengy :oops: . I agree you shouldn't sit back & wait - if there's a spark like you say, he's obviously felt it too!

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....who cares if you look like a stalker!?!? life is too short go for it!

 

Life is too short but being too full on can be intimidating and offputting for the other person. It can also come across as desperate! I think playing it casually is the way to go ;)

 

"Follow me I'll flee, flee me I'll follow" :D

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....who cares if you look like a stalker!?!? life is too short go for it!

 

Life is too short but being too full on can be intimidating and offputting for the other person. It can also come across as desperate! I think playing it casually is the way to go ;)

 

"Follow me I'll flee, flee me I'll follow" :D

 

Poet, now we'll all be coming to you on the ways of Lurve!

...expert... :D

 

x

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Go for it! Ads and I met on "da tinternet"; after spotting him and him not looking for months and then doing a spell to get his attention we got together and the rest is history- at least you had a chance to vet him first :)

 

Tell us who he is... we can all go have a "sneaky look"... :)

 

Just kidding! Good Luck!

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Poet, now we'll all be coming to you on the ways of Lurve!

...expert... :D

 

x

 

:lol: I don't think there's any such thing as being an expert in the ways of love. I did seem to bag myself one of the good uns though ;)

 

Here's another little snippet that I think rings true...

 

"The Bird of Paradise never lands on the hand that grabs!"

 

Don't ask me where I pick all this rubbish up from!!!! :lol:

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I'm wondering how it's going too :)

 

I think you can be honest without looking like a stalker. Start as you mean to go on I reckon. Whatever kind of relationship you want then start out that way - be open and don't worry too much about what he thinks. Even if he's not interested you'll do his ego a hell of a lot of good and you win because you know where you stand instead of second guessing him (a very rocky road full of wasted time and misunderstanding!) whey hey! go for it!

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I'd wait for a photo to comment on, and start up an oh-so-casual dialogue. When I first met my husband, I accidentally left some jewellery at his flat. It really was accidental (whatever he says), but it was useful, because then a few days later I had an excuse to call to get it back and it all went from there. I would never have called him otherwise in case I seemed pushy. But then I'm quite shy with boys (I think I can hear my OH laughing from here), but I am.

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