Joojoo Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 (edited) Sorry but I had to write this down as my head feels like it's going to explode. My Dad was rushed into hospital during Wednesday night with terrible pains in his stomach. He was very dehydrated and disorientated. They have carried out blood tests, a bladder scan and abdominal ultra sound, all of which showed up nothing. Yesterday he went for a CT scan, and the results were due back tomorrow, but we had a phone call from the hospital early this morning to say that the consultant wanted to see us (myself and my brother). He has now been diagnosed with diverticulitis, and is being treated with antibiotics but it is so severe that the only option would be for him to have a large part of his bowel removed and a colostomy fitted. Unfortunately, because of his other illnesses - very unstable angina, parkinsons, diabetes amonst others they feel that they would be at a very high risk of losing him on the operating table so they are unable to operate. The consultant has said that he will be kept comfortable (he is now on morphine) and will most likely pass away in the next few days. I'm absolutely devastated. Since my Mum died 5 and a half years ago I have spent so much time with him and I just don't know what I'm going to do. He is 83 which I know is a "good age" but he's my Dad and I just can't bear thinking about the rest of it. I think that one of the worst parts of the whole thing is that he is having the most terrible nightmares and hallucinations. On Friday he thought he was at the Crematorium waiting for his own funeral and that he was holding all the other funerals up because he hadn't had the results of his bladder scan. That really upset him because he hates to be a "nuisance" or a "burden" to anyone. The nurses said he hasn't really slept since he went in and is getting very agitated and aggressive which just isn't like him at all. He is a true gentleman in every sense of the word and doesn't deserve half of the things that he has had to go through in his lifetime. He is getting so distressed by these dreams and to see him sobbing when I saw him this morning absolutely heartbreaking. I'm sat here crying while I'm typing and I'm sorry to offload this on here, but I'm on my own apart from DS Ashley (15) and just had to get it out as I don't want to upset him anymore than he already is and my brother has gone home to his family. Jue xx Edited February 26, 2009 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couperwife Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 oh Jue , I odnt know what to say but ((((hugs)))) and you know where we are if you want to talk. cathy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Frugal Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Jue, I am so sorry to read your sad news. Thinking of you all at such a difficult and painful time xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluekarin Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm not sure what to say - what an awful situation not just for you and your family, but also your dad. As you say 83 is a good age, but like you, I can't imagine not having my dad about. Sending hugs and best wishes your way ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susanbb Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 So sorry to hear your news.Thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abwsco Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Jue, I am so sorry to read your sad, sad news. Sending you loads of {{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} and will be thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tessa the Duchess Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Sorry to hear this sad news, I am thinking of you. Tessa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackrocksrock Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Jue - I am really sorry about your news and cannot think of anything to help you except that at that age he has seen you grow up, and your brother and seen your son grow up too and if you think of all the changes in his lifetime - he has seen loads and you and he have done such a lot together. Remember the good times - it takes a while but you will remember and I send hugs for you at this time. It is going to be rough on you but hang in there - you have an extended family on this forum and they will be with you. Remember to take care of yourself at this time too. Hugs to you s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clootie Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Oh Joo, you're making me cry too. I remember all too well with both my dad (28 years ago) and my mum (last year). It's the morphine that is making him hallucinate and it breaks your heart to see them so distressed when you feel you can't do anything to help ease it for them. Hold his hand and talk to him. Even enter into his hallucination to tell him it's all okay, it's a role you have to play. I did it. It's not easy but you'll do anything to help them get through this. My mum was 83 too but I felt there comes a time when it's just not fair to put them through anymore. What is best for your dad is obviously the most important thing to you. Say everything you need to say to him and be by his side if you can. Have no regrets Joo and you can look back, in time, and know that you were there and you did the right thing. Be strong and I'm thinking of you. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicola H Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I am so sorry to hear the sad news Joo, all you can do is be there for him and be strong. You must be going through a terrible time, sending you lots of virtual hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisa33 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Sorry about your sad news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenuk99 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Just wanted to send my love as well. We are going through a very similar situation with my grampa, he is at the moment out of hospital. His bowel and bladder seem to be using each other due to a blockage in the bowel. You are in a very hard postiton having to be strong for those around you but as others have said there are so many friends here to support you. When I was talking to my cousin about gramp we talked about having the chance to talk to him which you miss out on when it is unexpected. I dont think I can say anything that will make you feel better but wanted to send you love and hugs. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christian Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Sending lots of big hugs to you Jue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinnamon Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 My thoughts are with you Jue. Been there myself recently - pm me for a chat if I can help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaireG Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I am so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and yours. (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 will PM you Jules xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 I'm really sorry to hear what is happening with you, but also upset your dad is distressed. I think if you talk to the staff they will be able to give him medication to make him calm and not agitated if he wishes. You have been told you will probably lose him within a few days are there are gold standards recognized across the country that ensure that the right treatment is available to help people have a good death. Having said that there is still hope for him if he has been given the antibiotics and steroids and I really hope he improves. Miracles do happen. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seagazer Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Jue, I am so sorry to hear your sad news. Sending (((hugs))) to you and your son. Take care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ain't Nobody Here Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Jue, I'm so so sorry to hear this terribly sad news about your dad . I don't know what to say except to say that your dad is lucky to have you - you will be a huge comfort to him, I'm sure. All my love to you and Ashley, I'll be thinking of you over this difficult time . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathybc Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 So sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts are with you and your family. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pepe Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Im so sorry about your dad, there are no words, but I know what you are going thruogh, I lost my mum 9 years ago and dad 4 years ago, we thought he was going in as routine, to be told he would die, 2 days later he did, so I know the pain, my thoughts are with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baby bears mum Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Am so sorry to hear your news sweetheart. Not a lot I can say to make you feel any better (nothing would). I am about 20 mins from Shrewsbury so if there is anything I can do please PM me. Thinking of you honey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chelsea Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Oh Jue I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. Dont you ever worry about offloading on here, by pm or on FB if you need to talk - we are all here for you if you need us. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Sending you a big hug and lots of positive vibes. Let me know if I could do anything. xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Sorry to hear your sad news Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time and sending you some (((hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen & co. Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Jue, I'm so very sorry to hear how poorly your Dad is You are all in my thoughts and prayers. I'm not far away if there is anything I can do. Take care, Karen x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...