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Joojoo

Sad news now FAB NEWS

By Joojoo, in The Nesting Box

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Joojoo Chatty Chicken

Joojoo

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Posted (edited)

Sorry but I had to write this down as my head feels like it's going to explode.

 

My Dad was rushed into hospital during Wednesday night with terrible pains in his stomach. He was very dehydrated and disorientated. They have carried out blood tests, a bladder scan and abdominal ultra sound, all of which showed up nothing. Yesterday he went for a CT scan, and the results were due back tomorrow, but we had a phone call from the hospital early this morning to say that the consultant wanted to see us (myself and my brother).

 

He has now been diagnosed with diverticulitis, and is being treated with antibiotics but it is so severe that the only option would be for him to have a large part of his bowel removed and a colostomy fitted. Unfortunately, because of his other illnesses - very unstable angina, parkinsons, diabetes amonst others they feel that they would be at a very high risk of losing him on the operating table so they are unable to operate. The consultant has said that he will be kept comfortable (he is now on morphine) and will most likely pass away in the next few days. I'm absolutely devastated. Since my Mum died 5 and a half years ago I have spent so much time with him and I just don't know what I'm going to do. He is 83 which I know is a "good age" but he's my Dad and I just can't bear thinking about the rest of it.

 

I think that one of the worst parts of the whole thing is that he is having the most terrible nightmares and hallucinations. On Friday he thought he was at the Crematorium waiting for his own funeral and that he was holding all the other funerals up because he hadn't had the results of his bladder scan. That really upset him because he hates to be a "nuisance" or a "burden" to anyone. The nurses said he hasn't really slept since he went in and is getting very agitated and aggressive which just isn't like him at all. He is a true gentleman in every sense of the word and doesn't deserve half of the things that he has had to go through in his lifetime. He is getting so distressed by these dreams and to see him sobbing when I saw him this morning absolutely heartbreaking.

 

I'm sat here crying while I'm typing and I'm sorry to offload this on here, but I'm on my own apart from DS Ashley (15) and just had to get it out as I don't want to upset him anymore than he already is :sad: and my brother has gone home to his family.

 

Jue xx

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Blackrocksrock Effusive Egg Layer

Blackrocksrock

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Jue - I am really sorry about your news and cannot think of anything to help you except that at that age he has seen you grow up, and your brother and seen your son grow up too and if you think of all the changes in his lifetime - he has seen loads and you and he have done such a lot together. Remember the good times - it takes a while but you will remember and I send hugs for you at this time. It is going to be rough on you but hang in there - you have an extended family on this forum and they will be with you. Remember to take care of yourself at this time too.

 

Hugs to you

s

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clootie Eggcentric Egluowner

clootie

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Oh Joo, you're making me cry too. I remember all too well with both my dad (28 years ago) and my mum (last year). It's the morphine that is making him hallucinate and it breaks your heart to see them so distressed when you feel you can't do anything to help ease it for them. Hold his hand and talk to him. Even enter into his hallucination to tell him it's all okay, it's a role you have to play. I did it. It's not easy but you'll do anything to help them get through this. My mum was 83 too but I felt there comes a time when it's just not fair to put them through anymore. What is best for your dad is obviously the most important thing to you. Say everything you need to say to him and be by his side if you can. Have no regrets Joo and you can look back, in time, and know that you were there and you did the right thing. Be strong and I'm thinking of you. x

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jenuk99 Frequent Layer

jenuk99

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Just wanted to send my love as well. We are going through a very similar situation with my grampa, he is at the moment out of hospital. His bowel and bladder seem to be using each other due to a blockage in the bowel. You are in a very hard postiton having to be strong for those around you but as others have said there are so many friends here to support you. When I was talking to my cousin about gramp we talked about having the chance to talk to him which you miss out on when it is unexpected. I dont think I can say anything that will make you feel better but wanted to send you love and hugs.

Jen

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Plum Cocka-doodle-loopy

Plum

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I'm really sorry to hear what is happening with you, but also upset your dad is distressed. I think if you talk to the staff they will be able to give him medication to make him calm and not agitated if he wishes. You have been told you will probably lose him within a few days are there are gold standards recognized across the country that ensure that the right treatment is available to help people have a good death.

Having said that there is still hope for him if he has been given the antibiotics and steroids and I really hope he improves. Miracles do happen. xx

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pepe Frequent Layer

pepe

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Im so sorry about your dad, there are no words, but I know what you are going thruogh, I lost my mum 9 years ago and dad 4 years ago, we thought he was going in as routine, to be told he would die, 2 days later he did, so I know the pain, my thoughts are with you :(

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chelsea SUPER CHICKEN!!!

chelsea

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Oh Jue I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. :( Dont you ever worry about offloading on here, by pm or on FB if you need to talk - we are all here for you if you need us. I cannot imagine what you are going through.

 

Sending you a big hug and lots of positive vibes. :pray:

 

Let me know if I could do anything. xxxxx

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