Unsecure chicken perches

[Ain't Nobody Here]

My OH and 2 teenage boys are absolutely rubbish at buying presents. I always have to buy and wrap my own presents and it came to a head this year when I got a card for my birthday while we were on holiday. Yes, that's right, a card . We had words (after the tears ) but I suspect they haven't really sunk in as OH asked me yesterday what I'd like for Christmas . They don't seem to get it that I just want them all to think about me for a nano second and try to imagine what I'd like (no matter how small). I know I'm hard to buy for but the same goes for them - I always manage to get stuff for them (after a lot of thought and effort) so I don't see why they shouldn't put in the same effort.

 

So, any ideas for some websites I can email to them all? I'm not even expecting them to trail round shops, just round a few websites - they can help each other too .

 

On my list so far is http://www.ilikechickens.co.uk

[TheGirlsMum]

Join the club.....nearly every year I end up in tears on Christmas day I know I should be used to it now, but he's even worse if we are with his family because they always buy fantastic presents for each other.

 

If that wasn't bad enough my birthday is then 5 days after Christmas so it is always a total non event. I'm hoping I can be composed this year if not I'll just take my self down the ponies field, they listen to me.........

 

Sorry I can't be of any help but my OH is very generous throughout the year and can't understand that some of the hints could be saved up as surprises for presents.

 

When you have got your lot trained please pass on the secret.

[Snowy]

Oh I know the feeling ANH. Must be a man thing - hubby and 3 sons and they would happily let me spend ages choosing their presents then tell me to go and buy my own. Or forget what they bought last year and buy the same again (thats happened several times!) I do make them lists now - a whole long list of odds and ends I would like, so now I do get a bit of a surprise as they can't get me everything on the list! Hubby got an ipod for his birthday so I've created my list on that this year. Teenage son has been emailed my amazon wishlist of books and CDs. And my birthday is just before christmas so also a non event

[abwsco]

My DH always says he never knows what to buy me so I just buy my own birthday present (it's in November) - it's the latest Assassins Creed this year - lol As far as Christmas goes we normally buy a big joint present but it's normally been something we need like a TV. Saying that though he does go looking for chickenalia if we're out shopping and will just buy it. DD's are good though and do spend time thinking what we might want.

[Christian]

A list is the only way to go ANH. You have my sympathy.

 

Lots of emails get sent throughout the year, that are kept in a folder (he likes 'filing')

[Happy chickens!]

For my 40th birthday a few years ago my OH got the kids to do...... nothing, not even a card. To be fair, he doesn't get the whole birthday/special occasion thing, and genuinely wouldn't be upset if no one did anything for his, but even so (He did organise the surprise cube and chickens a couple of years ago, so he isn't all bad!)

 

I always tell them you can never offend anyone with flowers (except when bought from a petrol station ) and it really, really is the thought that goes into it that counts, not the amount of money spent.

 

Snowy my birthday is also just before Christmas - what were our mothers thinking of?! OH has suggested in the past having an official birthday like the Queen.

 

ANH if all else fails tell them to search on omlet must haves..... how bad could it be?

[Lesley]

I must be very lucky!! - I've always had lovely presents for Christmas and Birthday .....and my birthday is 3 days after Christmas! (I always blame my Dad, not my Mum )

 

I don't write lists and only rarely drop a hint about anything I might like. I don't know what the secret is..........my two children were brought up by just me from a very young age and I think they always wanted to do something special for me, and always have..........I don't know about OH, he's one of 4 boys but his parents divorced when he was 18 and he's close to his Mum so perhaps it's the same reason?, he's used to thinking and doing something nice for the two women in his life?.

[Snowy]

It's true Lesley - my lot are used to the women in their lives doing all the thinking for them. OH was definitely the one mollycoddled by his mother. She still rings him to remind him about family birthdays

[Egluntyne]

I always buy my own. That way I get what I want, and not an iron, or a step ladder, like my friend once did. Her husband was lucky not to have his Christmas dInner via a naso-gastric tube that year. At least he'd had it gift wrapped.

 

I'm lucky that DD always frog marches Him Indoors round John Lewis and I do get a couple of nice surprises that way.

 

I hope they take the hint, ANH.

[Seagazer]

Snowy my birthday is also just before Christmas - what were our mothers thinking of?! OH has suggested in the past having an official birthday like the Queen.

 

Hey can I stand up for mum's with kids birthdays in December please?? YS was due on 28th but turned up on 8 instead. I distinctly remember, when we were 'trying' for YS saying to OH that we should miss that month out because of Christmas. He didn't seem to mind carrying on 'trying'

 

OH can be a bit hit and miss with presents, some years very good but some very bad (still can't forgive him for buying me The Dark Knight dvd - my words to him when we watched it at the cinema were - I'm never going to get those 3 hours back). To be fair he is very busy with work so sometimes doesn't have the time. The first Christmas with YS though he bought me the most gorgeous velvet skirt.

 

The best thing is to either write lists or have wish lists going. I've got a wish list at the moment, I'm fed up of not remembering what I'd like when people ask.

[Cinnamon]

The good thing about daughters is that they will remember things I like and remember that I said to tell their father that is what I want for Christmas.

It's the brilliant Stackers jewellery boxes this year,and he really has no excuse as he now has a John Lewis partner discount card thanks to me too.

[Happy chickens!]

I've already shown the 'stackers' to OH, think if maybe I e-mail him the link too.....

[ali-s]

Writing a list helps my OH. The list consists of a full description of the gift I would like, colour, price, size if it is clothing, Place were it can be bought or website address.

 

OH once bought me a lovely dressing gown as a Christmas gift without any prompting from me, it was lovely, only problem was I am a size 10 and the dressing gown was a size 20 - 22 . He had seen the gown and knew I would like and just picked it up without looking at the size. One Christmas I asked for a particular cookery book. I got a cookery book but it was Jamie Oliver's "how to cook" , I was not impressed, still he got it half right

Edited October 31, 2010 by Guest

[jlo]

I am afraid that OH and I just don't bother with Christmas presents for each other. He can't stand Christmas and I respect that. I get all the presents for my family and his family. A couple of years ago for my birthday he bought me one of those "make up boxes" that you get from Debenhams. I hardly ever wear make up so perhaps he was dropping a hint! Just after Christmas two years ago he was watching one of those shopping channels and bought me a watch as a "belated " gift. It was gold (coloured) and I never wear gold. Even my wedding ring is white gold.

 

You would think after 25 years together that he may have noticed my preferences! It is just easier not to bother and, to be honest, it is really not an issue for me either now!

 

If he wants something during the year - he tends to just get it so it is really difficult to think of something useful for him.

 

The children will usually get me some earrings or jewellery and that is really lovely. They do that off their own back though - nothing to do with OH!

 

Good luck with your quest ANH!!

[Angie]

Presents Ha! don't get me started !!!!!!

My ED & YD are fab at pressi hunting for thier children and friends .

Why can't they do the same for Me ????

I can count the gifts on one hand They have bought for me in 10 yrs.

As for the OH...Army , never home in UK !

See him little, he doesn't write, i get few e-mails, maybe a phone call

every couple of months if i'm lucky......as for gifts !!!

Just forget Birthdays , Anniversaries, mothers day, Christmas......

Lucky to get a sniff of a card never mind a gift.

I used to get upset...even cried. I don't waste my time over it anymore!

I DO MY OWN THING, FOR ME !!

But i always wonder about the saying...It's the thought that counts .

Where are there thoughts ?? obviously not on Me/ Us.

[sadietoo]

Speaking as someone whose husband once wrapped up the picture of a Fridge in a big box, as my Christmas present, (well we did need one but he wasn't sure which one "I" wanted. )I gently suggested that instead of christmas presents for each other, we go away for at least one long weekend together during the year. I realise not everyone can do this but it certainly works for us....and best of all no more knitted toecovers (our house name for presents you didn't want or don't need)!!

[bigmommasally]

This thread is just so sad I've just got my OH to read it and he is really shocked. I only hope your OH's make up for their unthoughfulness in other ways.

 

If any of you are into handicrafts - there is a secret santa swop being arranged on the Crafty thread at least that way you's get one surprise!

[goodinparts]

OH is pretty rubbish - but every now and then achieves miracles (some absolutely gorgeous ear rings last christmas that he saw at an antiques fair where he was working and actually bought...usually he thinks about it, gets home and decides he should have bought whatever it was but it's too late)

But he surpassed himself on the rubbish stakes for my 50th this summer.

I'd been begging and begging for chooks and he went to a garden centre and bought me -

some fence panels.

Yup

That's it.

Fencing

STILL not sure what he thought he was doing

It clearly wasn't designed to create a chicken playground as he was then quite grumpy when I went out and bought my girls myself (using present money from godmother etc).......

Fortunately all the offspring are brilliant...and I've got over the awfulness of having to buy my own 50th birthday present. HATED the thought of being 50 (reality nothing like as bad) so it made me very miserable on the day but now.......well, I have my girls

[Janty]

Hubby is great when buying presents...my Christmas cube arrived last Monday.

 

 

It's our parents who are funny. Each will call me asking what hubby wants and what they should get for the other set of parents. I usually end up getting them all, wrapping them and then distributing them.

 

[Cinnamon]

I think I may have mentioned this before on this forum,but once,upon complaining that Hubby never bought me flowers as a friends husband did,I was presented with a cactus & told 'there,that should last you a few years'

[sadietoo]

I think I may have mentioned this before on this forum,but once,upon complaining that Hubby never bought me flowers as a friends husband did,I was presented with a cactus & told 'there,that should last you a few years'

[Griffin]

Mr Griffin is useless He always says if I want anything I can just go and buy it but I really would love it if he paid attention to the little hints I drop, thought about what I'd like and surprised me. I just discussed Christmas presents with him and I said I'd like the new Jilly Cooper book so he said "go and order it from Amazon, have them gift wrap it for you too" So yet again I can see me buying myself something for Christmas.

[Ain't Nobody Here]

Well, if nothing else, all your responses have made me realise I'm not alone by any stretch of the imagination .

 

Strangely, that has actually made me feel better . I think I'll start making a list (a long one ).

[patsylabrador]

I'm lucky and get spoilt, the kids get me Lush stuff, DVDs or history books. OH and I agreed many years ago to not get Xmas presents for each other, but he tends to buy me anything that catches my eye when we're Christmas shopping ( within reason ) and spoils me that way. Consequently, I like Christmas shopping, as long as it doesn't involve malls.

If you like Lush stuff, my menfolk like shopping there as they get helped and spoilt by the pretty girls which works my advantage.

[Rhapsody]

But he surpassed himself on the rubbish stakes for my 50th this summer.

I'd been begging and begging for chooks and he went to a garden centre and bought me -

some fence panels.

Yup

That's it.

Fencing

STILL not sure what he thought he was doing

sorry but

 

I cant complain about OH, the gifts are thoughful and well-chosen AND I get suprise flowers delivered every so often (sorry) but his family drive me nuts and make it all such a chore.

Classic tale is of his Stepdad's birthday this year- this is a man in his 60's mark you, not a teenager- OH was rung up two days before by his mother and asked "When are you coming over to give M*** his present?" (I think thats what is called a Presumptive Close in the trade). Now my OH has a full-time job, runs the farm, does all the paperwork, we are in the middle of a lengthy and complicated planning application, and at that time we had one son doing GCSE's and one doing A levels, but against my advice OH spent a morning buying a present and delivering it on the day. It was a nice zip-up golfing fleece.

Stepdad tried it on, said "The sleeves are a bit short, you'd better take it back." And gave it back to him!! To make it worse he is RETIRED and physically fit with his own car- I'd have thrown it back in his ungrateful face

They always call 3 weeks before Xmas and give us the Wish List too