The Dogmother Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I had some of the old 'lip' form Rosie yesterday I made the boundaries VERY clear and she still stropped, so I called the ex and told him that he had to step up to the line with regards to parenting and (I was gobsmacked when) he came round and supported my stance. I was a ghastly teenager so I fully expect Rosie to be too. Friends of mine with small children are all for parenting the organic way - the children are allowed to decide for themselves what is or isn't dangerous and what to do when. I fully expect them to be nightmare teens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C&T Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 As a new parent to a 5 month year old, I read these kinds of threads in firm denial! My biggest concern is whether she is fed, clothed and with a clean bum... Long may it last! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Major - I didnt become a mom to win a popularity contest - I could go on BGT for that ( on 2nd thoughts probably not I'm not very good at anything to warrant inflicting myself on the great British public but thats another thread). I want to try and mould my kids into good honest caring citizens not some lying, cheating druggie. generally they are good kids unfortunately their mates also mould them. In the not too distant future when I hope they will be parents themselves should I still be around to see this I will remind them of this when they moan re their offspring. Despite being nearly 50 I too was no angel - but compared to some I wore my halo only slightly at an angle rather than strangling me round my neck like some today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Actually C&T - things dont change much - you still want them fed and wearing SOME clothes and I am sure a clean bum is nice too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
majorbloodnock Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Major - I didnt become a mom to win a popularity contest - I could go on BGT for that ( on 2nd thoughts probably not I'm not very good at anything to warrant inflicting myself on the great British public but thats another thread). I want to try and mould my kids into good honest caring citizens not some lying, cheating druggie. generally they are good kids unfortunately their mates also mould them. In the not too distant future when I hope they will be parents themselves should I still be around to see this I will remind them of this when they moan re their offspring. Despite being nearly 50 I too was no angel - but compared to some I wore my halo only slightly at an angle rather than strangling me round my neck like some today. Having reread my post, it does sound critical, doesn't it.... That wasn't intended, so my apologies. I'll make it abundantly clear right now that I agree with everything you've said. The point I was trying (badly) to make is that irrespective of whether I think a child should criticise my disciplinary stance, I start with the default assumption I'll be moaned at. Nor, of course, is it limited to criticism from teenagers; I've had an elderly woman try criticising me in a supermarket for telling my son off when he was playing up. Once again, I don't think it's their place to criticise, but I do expect it'll happen from time to time, and that expectation lets me ignore most of the injustice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soapdragon Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Oh my ...goodness I take my hat off to ALL of you - my boys are 3 1/2 and 7 and, most of the time, cuddly and adorable (when thay are not knocking the merry hell out of each other ) However, I am dreading this 'difficult' teenage stage so I am watching this thread with interest and a certain amount of trepidation, in the hope of picking up some tips!!! Instinct parenting seems to be the best way - I have always felt that its better to be tough as nails to start with as its then easier to back off rather than the other way round Seems to have worked so far but who knows......? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Faynights Major - I am the most critical person I know and I can cope with it when its waranted but with kids its normally cos they want their own way - i s'pose we do too I just hope my kids tell their mates to back off when they criticise their fruitcake mom but I suspect the pig I just saw flying past is one of many. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftyhunnypie Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Oh my goodness I feel old! You are only 33 Griffin. Don't know why, but from the way you speak - so sensibly ..I thought you were older. I'm 37 soon. Blimey I feel so old now! As for your daughter, I can't really comment as have no children, but my gut instinct said that lads might be involved??? I reckon teenage daughters are really hard to deal with, more so than boys?? Emma.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LolaLayla Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Oh to be 30 something again! .....its when you look in the mirror and you see that your skin has started to wrinkle like your mother's that you realise you are not really the age you feel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirl Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 I have to confess I read this thread with dread. My lads were pretty easy as teenagers and apart from one blip each were trouble free. However I worry my 2 girls will be monsters. Oh the lies! I dread it. I hope your daughter has come to terms with your decision now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 You are all so flippin young believe me I wish I'd had kids in my 20's - anyone out there do not leave to your 30's and 40's - your body and brain cant take it. Take it from a 49 yr old where its all going sarf!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chook n Boo Mum Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I recognise so much in this thread ........14yo son, 11yo daughter, strict mother with unpopular gut instincts.....may we stick together & support each other in the rocky times ahead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGirlsMum Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I'm 49 too Alis and my girls are 12 and 9. Eldest is really trying to find her feet having moved from a school of 48 to 2600 last year but.... most of the time we are getting there, she has made some really good friends. But it is so like looking into a time warped mirror it scares me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickvic Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I recognise so much in this thread ........14yo son, 11yo daughter, strict mother with unpopular gut instincts.....may we stick together & support each other in the rocky times ahead 14yo daughter, 11yo son! Can I join? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PurpleTree Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I'm dreading the time when I have 3 teenagers on my hands Like many I fully remember (well most of it) what I got up to with my friends. Just hope my boys don't try and push the limits too far. I find my eldest more challenging than the baby sometimes, as quite often I find myself asking myself 'Is he old enough for that yet?'. Like a lot of you I go on gut instinct & I am quite strict. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickencam Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 There is no such thing as an easy stage of parenting. I am now trying to get my head around the fact that my eldest can now legally go to nightclubs and drink and get married and vote and heaven knows what else. She was out last night with friends until 2.30am they were all collected by a friend's dad and stayed at their house, she was the only one legally in the club and she refused to buy drinks for her friends, but shockingly they had no trouble getting into said club and buying their own. She was really annoyed not to be asked for ID. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Frankly my ES is so horrid today starting to wonder if hes on something. He is horrid to little brother and snappy at me. I'm feeling low so snappy back. Who'd be a mum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yorkshire Pudding Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I feel for you - DS1 is just entering into his teens & has lost all control over speaking volume, temper where his brother is concerned, and at times his manners. He is lovely to everyone outside the family but at times very hard work for us. Am holding on tight for a few years and remembering that I will eventually get my lovely son back. Not to mention that DS2 will inevitably be joining him in a couple of years' time and is guaranteed to make the whole affair FAR more interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Well I am feeling very guilty this am - last night when ES was going to bed there was a crash (he sleeps downstairs) and when we went down he had cracked his head open. Dont know if he passed out or fell. Blood everywhere. He has 2inch gash on head which I told OH needed glueing - OH took him to hosp and they got back at 3am. They think he had a migraine as the bad tempered ness and headache which he had mentioned and taken paracetamol for might have made him unsteady. My mum and her mum had migraines bad. So I am feeling guilty and worried - luckily OH doesnt work - so they can sleep today. I was clearing up blood for ages after they left - head wounds bleed a lot but heal well. Oh YP thanks for your kind post - my little boy (10 but still little to me) is a unconfident little fella and I dont want ES's venom affecting him , however I see now he must have been feeling bad. The number of times yesterday I asked him if he was ok and was told to stop fussing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffin Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 (((hugs))) Don't feel guilty, you knew he wasn't quite right yesterday and these kids are so damn good at hiding stuff from us, you weren't to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dogmother Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I recognise so much in this thread ........14yo son, 11yo daughter, strict mother with unpopular gut instincts.....may we stick together & support each other in the rocky times ahead We can take it in turns to wear my Bad Mum Badge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy chickens! Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I think if your kids think you are strict you must be doing ok! My teenagers think I am ok as a parent, when I asked how I could be better they said more sweets, tv, less broccoli etc. I said would that make me a better parent or a worse parent? It made them think anyway!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alis girls Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Thanks Griffin - spoke to him this afternoon - hes sore but watching TV and has been banned from computer to give his poor head a rest. Am at work so not really seen him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
